When kids disappear ...

[crabcake]

DQ is SOOOOOOO lucky to have her ass right now!

She went to her friend's house across the street, walkie-talkie in hand (she has one, I have the other) to play in their back yard. She takes the WT along so that I can call her on it vs yelling through the neighborhood when it's time to come home. She was gone all of 10 minutes, and I routinely call her to check on her about every 5 minutes or so.

So, I call her cause we're gonna head out ... no answer ... again ... no answer ... again ... no answer. So across the street I go ... no kids in back yard. Ring friend's house doorbell, dad comes to the door, and I ask where the kids are. He checks the house, no kids. So through the neighborhood we go, calling them, no kids. I grab my keys and cell, ready to call the police, back down the driveway, and they both come walking up from between some other neighbors houses. I say two words to her: HOUSE NOW!

We live in a good neighborhood, all the neighbors know each other and know the kids and we all keep an eye out for them, but I'm not naive enough to think a stranger couldn't come and do something bad. And I've had the discussions with her before about how kids disappear every day, never to be heard from again, and have told her about the ugly things people do to kids when they kidnap them. So "education" is not on backorder in our house about this kind of thing. She went next door to the other neighbor's house one day without telling me, and I laid the smackdown on her then because it scared the hell out of me, and I thought I had scared her enough to know better as well.

I'm so mad right now, I cannot see straight enough to even hug her to be glad that she IS home and not in the back of some nut-jobs car being carted off to go knows what kind of hell. I was nice about it the first time she did this, but I unloaded a verbal ass whipping this time that has her bawling her eyes out in her room right now.

Anyone else been down this road a time or two with their kids? How do you make them understand, short of having a friend pull a pretend kidnap scenario on them to scare the shiat out of them to get it to sink in? :shrug:

 

[Mousebaby]

I applaud you for this! There are so many parents that live in the "dark"! I have a neighbor that lets her 13 yr. old watch her 7 yr. old all the time and the 7 yr. old runs the road constantly and no one watches her. I worry about that child constantly! My kids NEVER leave my sight and if they do they damn site better have let me know before they do! My kids know of the horrors that can happen to them too, but I often wonder if they think I'm the nut and don't believe me. I have a child sex offender two streets over and it scares the hell out of me. I am forever vigilant when it comes to my kids. My son wants to walk to the Checkers and I refuse to let him, he is 15, prime sex offender bait! He doesn't seem to get that! KIDS!!!

 

[sccrmommy]

My daughter will be 7 next week and she won't go anywhere without me. We have a code word we have made up, and one time I even tested her and she passed! My neighbor though, man I want to call Social Services on him. He's a single Dad, the son is no more than 9 but he's very small for his age. He is ALWAYS outside by himself, riding his bike all over the place. We live RIGHT off Rte 4, and yet I see him at 5-6pm riding his bike down the road. Then I started noticing that when I'm leaving the house at 7am the Dad is coming home. So it makes me wonder, and I start to do a little recon work, and I realize: He's leaving this kid home alone at night while he works (at least I assume it's work). Now I know we live in a safe area, and all the neighbors look out for each other, but it took me 5 days of "watching" the house to realize his schedule. 5 days!! That's nothing to a child molestor looking for his next victim! Someone could easily pick up on the schedule and then go knock on that door one night. ARGH, makes me angry. The people that live to the left of him have a little girl who is about 8. One day she comes knocking on my door and wants to know if "that girl I see outside can come play with me". So I say okay let me get my coat and shoes on, and she says very bewildered "YOU PLAY OUTSIDE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER???" So I say yes, and she says well can I play in here? She comes in my house for agood 30 minutes before I tell her she better go ask her Mom. So she does, I watch her walk down there and go in the house, then her Mom comes out on the porch and waves to me and the kid comes running back and says yeah I can play here. THE MOM, WHOM I HAVE NEVER MET BEFORE, LET HER KID COME INSIDE MY HOUSE TO PLAY!!!!! I could have been a convicted sex offender for all she knew! This little girl and the boy I mentioned before are usually outside playing together, ALONE. I can only imagine what goes on when they go in the woods. Makes me shudder!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!!!

 

[DoWhat]

Thanks for letting me vent!!!

When I was a little one, my mom would throw me and my brothers outside and lock the door behind us.
We didn't come home until she screamed for us.

Thanks for letting me vent too.

 

[Cowgirl]

When I was a little one, my mom would throw me and my brothers outside and lock the door behind us.
We didn't come home until she screamed for us.

Thanks for letting me vent too.

[BobDylan]For the times they are a-changin'.[/BobDylan]

 

[Sharon]

Anyone else been down this road a time or two with their kids? How do you make them understand...

I think most of us have. Kids start playing and then "forget" where they are supposed to be.

Was she out of range? Just keep doing what you're doing. Make sure she knows that if you can't get a hold of her you will come looking for her and make her come home. Be consistent, she'll learn to keep in touch.

 

[DoWhat]

[BobDylan]For the times they are a-changin'.[/BobDylan]

I disagree.
They had child molesters back then too. You just didn't hear about it as much.
People are now more paranoid.

 

[sccrmommy]

Oh please, my Mom used to do the same to me! I can remember getting up in the mornings and not coming in until well after dark, but I grew up in back woods upstate NY, not in a city. That's not to say child molesters weren't around up there. I walked everywhere I went growing up. I would walk from one side of town to the other alone, at night, and have no problems. If I let my daughter do that now you know I'd be hauled in for questioning! Things are MUCH different now. I remember being about 16, my brother 14, and my Mom beat the sh*t out of him one day. He had bruises on his face and everything. We went to the school counselor and told them and nothing was done about it. They never even placed a call to my Mom. Now if that happened today she'd be in jail!

 

[DoWhat]

Now if that happened today she'd be in jail!

Not if you kept your kid home from school.

 

[Suz]

My daughter will be 7 next week and she won't go anywhere without me. We have a code word we have made up, and one time I even tested her and she passed! My neighbor though, man I want to call Social Services on him. He's a single Dad, the son is no more than 9 but he's very small for his age. He is ALWAYS outside by himself, riding his bike all over the place. We live RIGHT off Rte 4, and yet I see him at 5-6pm riding his bike down the road. Then I started noticing that when I'm leaving the house at 7am the Dad is coming home. So it makes me wonder, and I start to do a little recon work, and I realize: He's leaving this kid home alone at night while he works (at least I assume it's work). Now I know we live in a safe area, and all the neighbors look out for each other, but it took me 5 days of "watching" the house to realize his schedule. 5 days!! That's nothing to a child molestor looking for his next victim! Someone could easily pick up on the schedule and then go knock on that door one night. ARGH, makes me angry. The people that live to the left of him have a little girl who is about 8. One day she comes knocking on my door and wants to know if "that girl I see outside can come play with me". So I say okay let me get my coat and shoes on, and she says very bewildered "YOU PLAY OUTSIDE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER???" So I say yes, and she says well can I play in here? She comes in my house for agood 30 minutes before I tell her she better go ask her Mom. So she does, I watch her walk down there and go in the house, then her Mom comes out on the porch and waves to me and the kid comes running back and says yeah I can play here. THE MOM, WHOM I HAVE NEVER MET BEFORE, LET HER KID COME INSIDE MY HOUSE TO PLAY!!!!! I could have been a convicted sex offender for all she knew! This little girl and the boy I mentioned before are usually outside playing together, ALONE. I can only imagine what goes on when they go in the woods. Makes me shudder!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!!!

Your neighbor is one that I would be calling every county agency on. The child is not old enough to be left alone ESPECIALLY at night. Every day I would call and i would not stop till I saw some POSITIVE action being taken.

 

[DoWhat]

Every day I would call and i would not stop till I saw some POSITIVE action being taken.

And from what I have heard, you are a great parent too.

 

[Suz]

And from what I have heard, you are a great parent too.

Ya know what azzhole. Don't start with me. I AM a good parent. I'm also a awesome Nana. Now if you disagree (not that YOUR OPINION matters to me) and you would like to discuss things in person, you let me know and we will do just that. Until you have walked in my shoes, and gone through what I have lived through you can just

SHUT THE FUKC UP
AND QUIT BOTHERING ME AND TRYING TO STIR CRAP UP ON THE NET.

 

[crabcake]

I think most of us have. Kids start playing and then "forget" where they are supposed to be.

Was she out of range? Just keep doing what you're doing. Make sure she knows that if you can't get a hold of her you will come looking for her and make her come home. Be consistent, she'll learn to keep in touch.

When she came in the house, her WT was off ... she said she had fallen, but wasn't walking with a limp or anything. I gave her 3 chances to tell me where she was, and each time, she said she was in the kid's back yard (which was because I was back there too, calling her name).

I know kids get busy with playing and all ... but this is something I have drilled into her over and over and over, as has Rick ... even in grocery stores. And having learned one time by having me on the horn with the 5-0 thinking she was missing/snatched, I thought she'd have enough sense. All she had to do was push the button her her WT and say "Mom, we're going in s yard okay?" and I'd have been fine with it.

DW -- I know, as kids, we all were cut loose to roam the 'hood, too. But it's not the same today. I give her freedom, but when she abuses it, or doesn't use her head, she needs a good, swift kick in the ass to remind her how it works.

I'm wound down from it all now ... and she cried herself to sleep in her room. But I was fit to be tied earlier.

 

[DoWhat]

Ya know what azzhole. Don't start with me. I AM a good parent. I'm also a awesome Nana. Now if you disagree (not that YOUR OPINION matters to me) and you would like to discuss things in person, you let me know and we will do just that. Until you have walked in my shoes, and gone through what I have lived through you can just

SHUT THE FUKC UP
AND QUIT BOTHERING ME AND TRYING TO STIR CRAP UP ON THE NET.

Oh my.
I hope no children were around you when you typed that.

 

[godsbutterfly]

When she came in the house, her WT was off ... she said she had fallen, but wasn't walking with a limp or anything. I gave her 3 chances to tell me where she was, and each time, she said she was in the kid's back yard (which was because I was back there too, calling her name).
I know kids get busy with playing and all ... but this is something I have drilled into her over and over and over, as has Rick ... even in grocery stores. And having learned one time by having me on the horn with the 5-0 thinking she was missing/snatched, I thought she'd have enough sense. All she had to do was push the button her her WT and say "Mom, we're going in s yard okay?" and I'd have been fine with it.

DW -- I know, as kids, we all were cut loose to roam the 'hood, too. But it's not the same today. I give her freedom, but when she abuses it, or doesn't use her head, she needs a good, swift kick in the ass to remind her how it works.

I'm wound down from it all now ... and she cried herself to sleep in her room. But I was fit to be tied earlier.

This is the part I would have the most trouble with. I always told my kids they better tell me the truth no matter what it was because if I had to find out some other way it was going to be a whole lot worse for them. Tell me what happened and we will talk about it. Lie to me and I'm gonna nail your butt to the wall. Good luck to you. And they wonder why we seem to be stressed "all the time"! I can't imagine!

 

[Wickedwrench]

When she came in the house, her WT was off ... she said she had fallen, but wasn't walking with a limp or anything. I gave her 3 chances to tell me where she was, and each time, she said she was in the kid's back yard (which was because I was back there too, calling her name).

Got any curious little boys in the neighborhood? She's getting near that age you know.

 

[fjennell]

I disagree.
They had child molesters back then too. You just didn't hear about it as much.
People are now more paranoid.

There also were not as many. Why? because people were a lot more scared to do things like they do now. They would be taken care of in a lot of other ways then throwing them in jail for a couple years and then letting them out in society to do the same thing again and have lawyers fight for "their rights" - PLEASE - Kill them all and lets be done with it already!

 

[crabcake]

Got any curious little boys in the neighborhood? She's getting near that age you know.

No ... not since the two next door moved in September. I think her not telling the truth was more about the fact she knew she was someplace she didn't have permission to be.

 

[Suz]

Oh my.
I hope no children were around you when you typed that.

My grand daughter is only 2 she can't read.

I know I have seen you in person. I just don't know who you are. But if I did I'd walk up to you and biatch slap you in a heart beat.

You have know idea about my life or my son's. So let me fill you in. He is bi-polar. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. It has NOTHING to do with how he was raised. His twin brother is fine, works on base making good money and has his shiat together. Nothing I could have done would make anything different for and anyone that claims any different is as ignorant as you are.

So again I tell you, until you have walked in my shoes you have no right to attack me (or my family), nor put me down. In the mean time you COULD do some research on bi-polar issues. Then maybe you wouldn't look like the dumb azz that you come across as.

(didn't mean to hijack your thread cc--just had enough of DW's crap)

 

[toppick08]

My grand daughter is only 2 she can't read.

I know I have seen you in person. I just don't know who you are. But if I did I'd walk up to you and biatch slap you in a heart beat.

You have know idea about my life or my son's. So let me fill you in. He is bi-polar. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. It has NOTHING to do with how he was raised. His twin brother is fine, works on base making good money and has his shiat together. Nothing I could have done would make anything different for and anyone that claims any different is as ignorant as you are.

So again I tell you, until you have walked in my shoes you have no right to attack me (or my family), nor put me down. In the mean time you COULD do some research on bi-polar issues. Then maybe you wouldn't look like the dumb azz that you come across as.
(didn't mean to hijack your thread cc--just had enough of DW's crap)

I'm sure he's short, with a big keyboard mouth.