Who Pays?

[vraiblonde]

First date...you asked me out, you pay.

If we go out again, I will insist on paying my way.

A lot of my first dates lately are Match guys who are taking a chance on me sight unseen. I don't think it's fair to make them pay for my dinner or drinks, especially since odds are I won't be seeing them again. I did let golf guy buy the range balls, cart, and greens fees (mainly because he had it done before I got there), but I bought him lunch after.

 

[itsbob]

I was surprised at how many men don't like it when a woman offers to split the check. Maybe it's different with young guys, but men my age (or at least the ones I go out with) not only expect to pay for dinner, they insist.

BG likes to pay because she knows if she pays, then I feel obligated to put out..

 

[RoseRed]

I just paid for my own lunch.

 

[GWguy]

I just paid for my own lunch.

Maybe, but you were alone, so ........






j/k.

 

[RoseRed]

Maybe, but you were alone, so ........

j/k.

Meh. I'm always alone.

 

[DaisyDuke]

I have offered, but am usually turned down. But I hardly ever date anyway. Although, I was tempted to pull a Jennifer yeterday evening at Outback.

Was it the bartender?

 

[migtig]

BG likes to pay because she knows if she pays, then I feel obligated to put out..

That's how I treat my husband too.

 

[RoseRed]

Was it the bartender?

No.

 

[SamSpade]

A lot of my first dates lately are Match guys who are taking a chance on me sight unseen.

When I was dating women I met online, that was my general opinion, especially if we were just meeting for drinks or lunch. Split the bill, because you may not go out again. And I was of the opinion that if a woman asks YOU out on a date, she should pay.

After years of being married - now I am not so sure. I do know that my wife's friends said to her "he wanted to go Dutch? DUMP the dude!". I think I would be amenable to my date springing for drinks or the tip, but I would probably be bothered if she offered to pay outright. I am not sure why. I guess it would be like a guest offering to host the party I'm holding at my house. It feels wrong.

 

[Wenchy]

That.

If I ask a woman out I will be the one that pays.
I hold doors open and I try to walk on the curb side when we're walking on the street.

Just how I was raised :shrug:


If she invites me out I don't have any obligation to pay but I will if necessary

When I asked you out I paid. It's a friend kind of thing. You can then do the same.

When somebody asks me out I want them to pay.

 

[Larry Gude]

You know what fascinates me? People who have trouble finding something to talk about and THEN find that they have ALL sorts of things to talk about but are nervous about it and, instead, vent it in some dumb poll.

What better ice breaker could there be on a first date than to...talk about the first date?

"So, Giselle, nice to meet you! You seem so much larger...in personality than your profile leads one to expect! That's great! Really, really great! So, here's an ice breaker for you, a social question; I'm gonna write my answer on this here napkin, then, ask you a question and we'll see how it goes from there with you knowing I've already committed myself. OK? Ready? Here we go! This will be fun! If I intend to throw you in a pit, sooner or later, on account of how you women actually hate nice guys like me, would you expect me to, A, pay for this date, B, expect you to pay, you heartless, man hating bitch, or, C, we split it? Take your time! We have....forever..."

I mean, fair question, right? May as well get to know the 'real' one another right away, right?

 

[migtig]

You know what fascinates me? People who have trouble finding something to talk about and THEN find that they have ALL sorts of things to talk about but are nervous about it and, instead, vent it in some dumb poll.

What better ice breaker could there be on a first date than to...talk about the first date?

"So, Giselle, nice to meet you! You seem so much larger...in personality than your profile leads one to expect! That's great! Really, really great! So, here's an ice breaker for you, a social question; I'm gonna write my answer on this here napkin, then, ask you a question and we'll see how it goes from there with you knowing I've already committed myself. OK? Ready? Here we go! This will be fun! If I intend to throw you in a pit, sooner or later, on account of how you women actually hate nice guys like me, would you expect me to, A, pay for this date, B, expect you to pay, you heartless, man hating bitch, or, C, we split it? Take your time! We have....forever..."

I mean, fair question, right? May as well get to know the 'real' one another right away, right?

Uh....I'd hope I hadn't ordered anything, would excuse myself for the restroom, call my best friend, low crawl out of the side door and run to my car, and immediately change my contact information.

 

[Larry Gude]

Uh....I'd hope I hadn't ordered anything, would excuse myself for the restroom, call my best friend, low crawl out of the side door and run to my car, and immediately change my contact information.

Ah, so, you like to play hard to get, eh?

 

[migtig]

ah, so, you like to play hard to get, eh?

zzzzzzzzzap

 

[Larry Gude]

zzzzzzzzzap

New model???

 

[SoMDGirl42]

I end up paying every single time I go out to dinner. Then again, my date is only 7 and doesn't have a job that pays enough for dinner. Chores don't cut it.

 

[MMM_donuts]

When I was dating women I met online, that was my general opinion, especially if we were just meeting for drinks or lunch. Split the bill, because you may not go out again. And I was of the opinion that if a woman asks YOU out on a date, she should pay.

After years of being married - now I am not so sure. I do know that my wife's friends said to her "he wanted to go Dutch? DUMP the dude!". I think I would be amenable to my date springing for drinks or the tip, but I would probably be bothered if she offered to pay outright. I am not sure why. I guess it would be like a guest offering to host the party I'm holding at my house. It feels wrong.

My BFF is newly single. She's always been a proud, independent woman that fights for equality.

Or so I thought until she started online dating. Now she says things like what you said. She'll scoff at a guy if he isn't a traditional gentleman - you know, hold the door, pay the bill, by her drinks, that sort of thing.

I'm not really sure what to think about it. Or what to do about it. Is this some sort of phase you go through after a divorce or maybe a simple way to narrow down the online prospects? I asked her about the equality thing and she says she still expects a man to be a man. If I push too hard she'll get defensive and say that she wants to find someone that will accept her for who she is and not be judgmental.

 

[JeJeTe]

My BFF is newly single. She's always been a proud, independent woman that fights for equality.

Or so I thought until she started online dating. Now she says things like what you said. She'll scoff at a guy if he isn't a traditional gentleman - you know, hold the door, pay the bill, by her drinks, that sort of thing.

I'm not really sure what to think about it. Or what to do about it. Is this some sort of phase you go through after a divorce or maybe a simple way to narrow down the online prospects? I asked her about the equality thing and she says she still expects a man to be a man. If I push too hard she'll get defensive and say that she wants to find someone that will accept her for who she is and not be judgmental.

Equality and chivalry are 2 different things to me. :shrug:

 

[lucky_bee]

Equality and chivalry are 2 different things to me. :shrug:

agreed. I make my own money for myself. So I'll pay the tab if I ask you out (although that never happens bc I'm way too awkward to do so), or go dutch, or if we've been dating awhile try and take turns over paying. But in all honesty, I prefer a guy who wants to always take care of the tab :shrug: But only for the principle of chivalry!








I can pave my own road...................



But I'd like a man to lay his jacket on the puddles for me

 

[MMM_donuts]

Equality and chivalry are 2 different things to me. :shrug:

Yeah, I was just thinking about my post. I wasn't clear about what I meant. I mean she hates everything associated with traditional gender roles and expectations of women. Now that she's single though she wants a man to take care of her.