Who Pays?

buddscreekman

buddscreekman

New Member
When I met my wife I paid on every date. Eventually after we got married I said it would be nice if she would have just once paid for something-anything. Even just half. She waited til that night and mid BJ stopped and asked me if I could split that 50/50 or did I want her to stick to her job and I stick to mine. I'm broke. But I'm happy.
 
C

czygvtwkr

Guest
buddscreekman said:
When I met my wife I paid on every date. Eventually after we got married I said it would be nice if she would have just once paid for something-anything. Even just half. She waited til that night and mid BJ stopped and asked me if I could split that 50/50 or did I want her to stick to her job and I stick to mine. I'm broke. But I'm happy.
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Wait after you were married?
 
CaneCorso

CaneCorso

Member
If I ask her out I pay.

If she asks me out I try and pay or at least try and split it. If she insists on still paying I check out what kind of car she has since I might have just found my "sugar mamma"!
:yahoo:
 
Railroad

Railroad

Routinely Derailed
I pay for everything when I can (and sometimes when I shouldn't). I try be chivalrous and charming. If she doesn't like nice guys (and some don't, as we found out in another thread), okay, it was nice to spend some time with her. As Wenchy said, dating sucks these days. But there are few alternatives in which you can spend time focused on the object of your attention. IMHO, women should be treated with respect until they indicate that such treatment is inappropriate.
 
H

hooknline

New Member
She should always pay. the food is usually rabbit food anyway. Men have more important things to work their wallets; like paying the waitress the side $20 to set that 100% bad chloresterol juicy burger near the scuze me gotta wiz zone table. Don't worry though we cut back the mayo a lttle in respect for your diet knowledge and health enthusiastic plans, beltch:buddies:
 
MarieB

MarieB

New Member
MMM_donuts said:
Yeah, I was just thinking about my post. I wasn't clear about what I meant. I mean she hates everything associated with traditional gender roles and expectations of women. Now that she's single though she wants a man to take care of her.
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I have no idea if this is the case, but perhaps those feelings didn't bode well in the marriage?
 
Hank

Hank

my war
Rubio1 said:
Some people are still in High School. Date a Biker! Then marry one then complain
They always pay well
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Rubio, you are a madman! When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, Cowboy! :buddies:
 
bulldog

bulldog

New Member
MMM_donuts said:
My BFF is newly single. She's always been a proud, independent woman that fights for equality.

Or so I thought until she started online dating. Now she says things like what you said. She'll scoff at a guy if he isn't a traditional gentleman - you know, hold the door, pay the bill, by her drinks, that sort of thing.

I'm not really sure what to think about it. Or what to do about it. Is this some sort of phase you go through after a divorce or maybe a simple way to narrow down the online prospects? I asked her about the equality thing and she says she still expects a man to be a man. If I push too hard she'll get defensive and say that she wants to find someone that will accept her for who she is and not be judgmental.
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Why would you feel the need to "do" anything about it? Is it really your business?
 
MMM_donuts

MMM_donuts

New Member
bulldog said:
Why would you feel the need to "do" anything about it? Is it really your business?
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Yes, she is my best friend and it is my responsibility to be honest with her and communicate my concerns when our relationship changes.

This "hypocritical hippie" stuff is uncharacteristic behavior for her and it's so extreme lately that I am not sure what to think.

By "doing something about it" I mean I wasn't sure how to go about talking to her about it. It's not my responsibility to control, change, or try to dictate her behavior but it is a foundation of our relationship to be honest and openly communicate with one another. It's been that way from day 1, it's what makes us best friends instead of just friends.

We've already started talking about it, though. Yes, she's going through some really rough stuff and is not handling it well.
 
MMM_donuts

MMM_donuts

New Member
And I would like to reiterate that my first post wasn't well written. It's not that she doesn't appreciate chivalrous behavior, she has just never demanded that a man act according to his traditional role. She has, however, always (and still does) demanded personal freedom from traditional female roles. She wants to be treated equal to a man in all situations. Until recently where she has started doing things such as demanding that they pay for the dates, etc.
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
We've already started talking about it, though. Yes, she's going through some really rough stuff and is not handling it well.
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MMM_donuts said:
And I would like to reiterate that my first post wasn't well written. It's not that she doesn't appreciate chivalrous behavior, she has just never demanded that a man act according to his traditional role. She has, however, always (and still does) demanded personal freedom from traditional female roles. She wants to be treated equal to a man in all situations. Until recently where she has started doing things such as demanding that they pay for the dates, etc.
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It doesn't sound to me like she should be dating at all right now. Sounds like she needs some considerable time for self-reflection, self-healing and self-acceptance before she attempts to bring another man into her life. How can she expect herself to pin down what she really wants from a relationship when she hasn't pinned her self down yet?
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
kwillia said:
It doesn't sound to me like she should be dating at all right now. Sounds like she needs some considerable time for self-reflection, self-healing and self-acceptance before she attempts to bring another man into her life. How can she expect herself to pin down what she really wants from a relationship when she hasn't pinned her self down yet?
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You have to practice date. Find guys that are clearly not Forever Man and get them to take you out so you can remember what to do. When (not if) you act like an idiot and he runs away screaming, you've lost nothing but gained a lesson. Go to school on their dime. Then you'll be ready when someone great comes along.

OJT
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
vraiblonde said:
You have to practice date. Find guys that are clearly not Forever Man and get them to take you out so you can remember what to do. When (not if) you act like an idiot and he runs away screaming, you've lost nothing but gained a lesson. Go to school on their dime. Then you'll be ready when someone great comes along.

OJT
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Understood... so it's like taking up running again like you used to do in your younger days... when you are trying it again later in life... you don't want anyone you really care about to be watching...:lol:
 
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