Why are you here?

[Kain99]

You hear a lot about "stepping out" with people in chat rooms, message forms, etc for one simple reason.. Attention.. Lets face it, most of the people who surf the boards and chat rooms aren't exactly the "beautiful people" of the world.. By: Smalltown

Smalltown made this statement in the Stepping Out thread and it got me thinking?

Are Cheaters Drawn to Forums? Do Forums and Chat rooms breed Cheaters?

Why are we all here?

 

[sleuth]

I logged on to meet some of the locals when I moved here six months ago. I didn't know a soul and wanted to get out and make some new friends.

So far it's been a successful maneuver.

 

[SmallTown]

Like I have said before, I find people fascinating.. Which is the main reason I log on here. I enjoy so many different views on so many different topics. (And I like to brag when Michael Vick performs his amazing stunts on the football field!)

Sorry if anyone got offended by the "beautful people" comment.. But there is a reason that models sign multi-million dollar contracts, and most of us don't..

Not everyone who logs in to a room is looking for a mate or someone to cheat with.. Most are looking for things to talk about.. (As far as I can tell)

But you can't deny the freakazoids you see in the paper who leave their spouse for someone they met on the internet.

 

[cattitude]

Smalltown was dead on, in my opinion.

I just started reading this site b/c of where I live and I knew (or thought) that Otter was a poster. I never did much with chat rooms or any other type of communication over the internet with people I didn't know. This is a first for me.

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by Kain99
Smalltown made this statement in the Stepping Out thread and it got me thinking?

Are Cheaters Drawn to Forums? Do Forums and Chat rooms breed Cheaters?

Why are we all here?

I don't think cheaters are necessarily drawn to forums, but that things started in forums and chat rooms can lead to things elsewhere. Many people use chat rooms as an outlet from real life. They can't go out on the town every night, and if they do maybe they're just tired of seeing the same old faces. So...they venture online where no one knows them (most times anyway), they can be free, and chat about whatever. I think you make it what you wish. Personally, I'm not here to date anyone, etc... but enjoy discussing with others and was interested in meeting local people to do things with. Some people, though, in unhappy relationships may look to the forums/chat rooms to flirt, etc... We know a guy like this who is married and partially unhappy. He wants his wife to be certain ways - and she's not open to his ideas. Therefore, he uses chatting as an outlet to talk with other women that are more open. BAD MOVE for him. What started out as just chatting, I fear, is shortly going to turn into reality. AS things progress in what I say is the wrong direction, they may even end up meeting...and you know what'll happen then!!

So, basically, I think it depends on what the individual poster/chatter is looking for. Most chat rooms offer a title that lets you know what sort of people are there - and that alone should keep you out of some of them UNLESS you had alterior motives to start with.

I've only had experience in posting/responding to personal ads online, this somd forum, and the about.com pregnancy chat room. All of which I entered with a specific purpose, and came out of all with great friends and a future husband.

 

[Kain99]

It's funny! Most of you will remember when I first came on board that I really didn't regard any of you as real human beings.....

I just couldn't connect people to the other side of the screen.

It wasn't until I met everyone that I realized just how real, this whole thing is.

When I logged on for the first time it was to do a job. I was asked to Post Election Information on the site.

But I stayed..... In fact, I more than stayed! I'm hooked!

Does that mean I'm missing something? Gosh I don't think so but ya gotta wonder.

My marriage is fantastic - My friends well, they're o.k.

Maybe I'm the only one really wrung up about this but I'm seriously trying to self-diagnos here....

I understand that the knee jerk reaction is to play it safe but maybe you guys should think about being really honest...

 

[KaZamm1061]

 

[cattitude]

Originally posted by Kain99

I understand that the knee jerk reaction is to play it safe but maybe you guys should think about being really honest...

What? I thought I was..

 

[tipsy mcgee]

I think SmallTown is right, too. Lots of people are here to meet people in the community and/or keep up with what's going on in the area. I think it's the lurkers and the multiple personalities who you have to worry about. The Internet in general provides anonymity for people who can't interact elsewhere or are just plain sick and could possibly become a predator-type.

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by tipsy mcgee
The Internet in general provides anonymity for people who can't interact elsewhere

Yes!! Some people have low self-esteem and are not confident in venturing out to meet people, therefore they prefer to use the internet. Others are looking for trouble (cheating, etc...) and use the Internet as what they think is a safe way to find someone, flirt, or whatever. Others are just simply nice people who are looking to meet others in the area for talking, activities, etc... (that's most of us!!)

 

[RoseRed]

I happened upon the website quite some time back and started lurking the forums. The more I got comfortable with how everyone was, I signed on and joined in, just to chat with people in the area and make new friends. No interest whatsoever in "looking for love", just to make new friends. And I have done so here!

to you all

 

[Kain99]

Originally posted by cattitude
What? I thought I was..

Oh Yeah, I think you were... When I started Posting I had only read Slueths response... Not to say that I think he's being dishonest I just thought maybe he could have said more.

 

[SmallTown]

The post I made was from years of experience.. I started my "online career" around 1986 or so on a service called GEnie..I started on the BBS scene in about 1989.. Ran my own BBS from about 2 years in the early 90s.. Was on Compuserve for a couple of years.. Then got on the internet while in college and did the IRC route.. In every case, I always saw people who used the forums as a way to "hook up", especially when they are married.. Kinda like what Kain said, they don't really think of the other "chatters" as "people".. Until things go too far, they decide to meet and then it sets in.. It is real.. The people are real.. Sometime by this point it has gone too far, other times it hasn't.. Maybe that is why you only see the freaks on the news because the others come to their sences before it is too late.

 

[KaZamm1061]

Guess i shouldnt have posted what i just posted then huh. damn i should have read Laurens post first.

 

[pixiegirl]

Sxy made me come here!

Seriously though, I think that chat rooms are a haven for weirdos and people looking for sex, relationships, whatever. Forums like these are a little different. While we'll get our occasional weirdo for the most part this isn't the type of venue to find anything much more then a friend.

 

[Kain99]

Welp there's no denying that 18 out of 34 of us admit to being "tempted" to cheat. If statistics prove to be true half ofthe 16 who denied ever being tempted were lying. So that means that at least some of the people on the forums are taking a risk by posting here!

Where are you guys?

 

[KaZamm1061]

So basically your calling me a wierdo huh? hahahahahah Sheshhh and i thought i was just being friendly.

 

[Kain99]

Originally posted by joeyinlexpark
I am here because I am bored and I love to meet new people. Specially a select few that are really cute!!!!!!

Sure Joey.... It has nothing to do with being locked in a miserable relationship right?

 

[SmallTown]

Originally posted by pixiegirl
Sxy made me come here!

Seriously though, I think that chat rooms are a haven for weirdos and people looking for sex, relationships, whatever. Forums like these are a little different. While we'll get our occasional weirdo for the most part this isn't the type of venue to find anything much more then a friend.

[Giving all the guys high-5s] Way to go, we have them fooled! Move in for the kill!

I think Pixie just broke a lot of hearts

 

[Kain99]

Originally posted by pixiegirl
for the most part this isn't the type of venue to find anything much more then a friend.

So, you've never dated anyone on the forums?