B
Bruzilla
Guest
The following is an absolutely true story!
I went to lunch today, Feb 2, 2005, at The Avenues Mall. As I was eating at the food court, two mid-30s men sat down at the table next to mine. Man A asked Man B how his Christmas went. Man B started to reply, and I apologize for not paying attention enough to get all the details, but Man B went to his inlaw's house with his wife and son for Christmas. I don't know where they went, but it was somewhere up north. I picked up on the story as Man B and his wife were about to take a motorcycle drive in a freezing rain storm.
Man B: "So, we went out for the motorcycle ride, even though we had a lot of freezing rain. I know, who goes out on a motorcycle in freezing rain right? Anyway the trip was awful because Joan kept saying 'slow down' and 'we need to get back', you know how women are."
Man A: "Yep."
Man B: "Anyway, we had a wreck, and we had to go the hospital. The bike was totalled."
Man A: "What happened?"
Man B: "We hit a turn that had a lot of ice and the bike went out of control."
Man A: "That sucks man!"
Man B: "Oh, but it gets worse. We get back from the hospital, and Brian (their son) is acting up. So I sent him to time out. Well, after time out, he starts acting up again, so I put him back into time out. And get this, he acts up again, so I send him to time out up in Joan's parent's room, so he can be punished by being by himself."
Man A: "Okay."
Man B: "Well, about ten minutes go by, and we hear this crash. We go upstairs and Brian had climbed up on the dresser and tried to climb up on the mirror. He pulled the mirror down and broke it against the dresser, then fell down to the floor and cracked his head open. So we had to go back to the hospital."
Man A: "That's kids for you."
Man B: "But it gets worse. The next morning, we're so tired from being at the hospital that we don't get up early Christmas Day, but Brian, of course, he wants to open his presents. So we tell him to go open his presents and guess what?"
Man A: "What?"
Man B: "That kid opened all of the presents! Everybody's! Joan and her parents were really pissed!"
Man A: "I would be too if my kid did that!"
Man B: "Well, by that time Joan had had enough and wanted to go home. So we left the house and drove back. It was really cold and raining, but we were making great time so we drove straight through. But I was so tired that I was driving like this (at this point he pantomines driving with your forearms on the steering wheel and your chin on the backs of your hands), so I can't see the gas gauge, and guess what? About a mile before our exit, the Expedition just goes dead."
Man A: "Oh man! What did you do?"
Man B: "Well, remember how cold and rainy it was on Christmas?"
Man A: "Yeah."
Man B: "Well, Joan's brother, he came with us, he and I got out and pushed that truck all the way to the off ramp, in the cold and the rain!"
Man A: "Wow!"
Man B: "Oh man, we were so frozen! Then when we get to the off ramp, we stopped pushing and walked down the ramp to get gas. We walked for about another mile or so, and there was nothing. Then we turned around and headed back to the exit and man... there was a Hess station right next to the off ramp on the other side. We had walked all that way for nothing."
As I'm sitting there listening to these two idiots converse, I'm thinking the following:
1. Only an idiot goes racing around on a motorcycle in freezing rain.
2. It's much more likely your kid would listen to you if you spanked him, but if one "time out" punishment didn't work, what makes you think two or three will? And what kind of idiot sends a rambunctious kid off to be alone?
3. You tell a young kid to go open the presents, and are then shocked that he doesn't stop at his own? Again, an idiot.
4. What better time to drive tired than in an SUV on a rain-slicked road?
5. Why push a heavy SUV a mile to the off ramp, then not coast down the off-ramp? Why push the SUV at all? Better to walk to a gas station and bum a ride or walk back... it's gotta be easier to walk two miles than to push an SUV one mile.
6. I know the exit the guy was talking about, and theoretically, you're suppossed to look both ways before crossing Commonwealth Ave, so I can't imagine how he could have been routinely using this exit and not known there was a gas station to the right. Plus, he pushed his SUV right past the "Gas - .1 Miles That-away" sign. And... assuming he routinely turns left to go home, he should have known there were no gas stations for miles in that direction.
It also struck me that all of the "bad luck" that had befallen him was the result of this idiot's actions, yet he cast all the blame on the weather, his wife, his kid, etc. Never himself.
I think that in a perfect World, I would be able to get up, excuse myself for interrupting their lunch, and shoot this idiot as a means of preventing further pollution of the gene pool. Oh... I can only dream.
I went to lunch today, Feb 2, 2005, at The Avenues Mall. As I was eating at the food court, two mid-30s men sat down at the table next to mine. Man A asked Man B how his Christmas went. Man B started to reply, and I apologize for not paying attention enough to get all the details, but Man B went to his inlaw's house with his wife and son for Christmas. I don't know where they went, but it was somewhere up north. I picked up on the story as Man B and his wife were about to take a motorcycle drive in a freezing rain storm.
Man B: "So, we went out for the motorcycle ride, even though we had a lot of freezing rain. I know, who goes out on a motorcycle in freezing rain right? Anyway the trip was awful because Joan kept saying 'slow down' and 'we need to get back', you know how women are."
Man A: "Yep."
Man B: "Anyway, we had a wreck, and we had to go the hospital. The bike was totalled."
Man A: "What happened?"
Man B: "We hit a turn that had a lot of ice and the bike went out of control."
Man A: "That sucks man!"
Man B: "Oh, but it gets worse. We get back from the hospital, and Brian (their son) is acting up. So I sent him to time out. Well, after time out, he starts acting up again, so I put him back into time out. And get this, he acts up again, so I send him to time out up in Joan's parent's room, so he can be punished by being by himself."
Man A: "Okay."
Man B: "Well, about ten minutes go by, and we hear this crash. We go upstairs and Brian had climbed up on the dresser and tried to climb up on the mirror. He pulled the mirror down and broke it against the dresser, then fell down to the floor and cracked his head open. So we had to go back to the hospital."
Man A: "That's kids for you."
Man B: "But it gets worse. The next morning, we're so tired from being at the hospital that we don't get up early Christmas Day, but Brian, of course, he wants to open his presents. So we tell him to go open his presents and guess what?"
Man A: "What?"
Man B: "That kid opened all of the presents! Everybody's! Joan and her parents were really pissed!"
Man A: "I would be too if my kid did that!"
Man B: "Well, by that time Joan had had enough and wanted to go home. So we left the house and drove back. It was really cold and raining, but we were making great time so we drove straight through. But I was so tired that I was driving like this (at this point he pantomines driving with your forearms on the steering wheel and your chin on the backs of your hands), so I can't see the gas gauge, and guess what? About a mile before our exit, the Expedition just goes dead."
Man A: "Oh man! What did you do?"
Man B: "Well, remember how cold and rainy it was on Christmas?"
Man A: "Yeah."
Man B: "Well, Joan's brother, he came with us, he and I got out and pushed that truck all the way to the off ramp, in the cold and the rain!"
Man A: "Wow!"
Man B: "Oh man, we were so frozen! Then when we get to the off ramp, we stopped pushing and walked down the ramp to get gas. We walked for about another mile or so, and there was nothing. Then we turned around and headed back to the exit and man... there was a Hess station right next to the off ramp on the other side. We had walked all that way for nothing."
As I'm sitting there listening to these two idiots converse, I'm thinking the following:
1. Only an idiot goes racing around on a motorcycle in freezing rain.
2. It's much more likely your kid would listen to you if you spanked him, but if one "time out" punishment didn't work, what makes you think two or three will? And what kind of idiot sends a rambunctious kid off to be alone?
3. You tell a young kid to go open the presents, and are then shocked that he doesn't stop at his own? Again, an idiot.
4. What better time to drive tired than in an SUV on a rain-slicked road?
5. Why push a heavy SUV a mile to the off ramp, then not coast down the off-ramp? Why push the SUV at all? Better to walk to a gas station and bum a ride or walk back... it's gotta be easier to walk two miles than to push an SUV one mile.
6. I know the exit the guy was talking about, and theoretically, you're suppossed to look both ways before crossing Commonwealth Ave, so I can't imagine how he could have been routinely using this exit and not known there was a gas station to the right. Plus, he pushed his SUV right past the "Gas - .1 Miles That-away" sign. And... assuming he routinely turns left to go home, he should have known there were no gas stations for miles in that direction.
It also struck me that all of the "bad luck" that had befallen him was the result of this idiot's actions, yet he cast all the blame on the weather, his wife, his kid, etc. Never himself.
I think that in a perfect World, I would be able to get up, excuse myself for interrupting their lunch, and shoot this idiot as a means of preventing further pollution of the gene pool. Oh... I can only dream.
Last edited by a moderator:
Time spent entertaining me is NOT wasted missy! 
Spank the kid and give this moron a kick in azz. He's got the brains of a potato.
