Why women don't like you "nice guys"

vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
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SG_Player1974 said:
And that would be because A-holes probably don't WANT what you want...
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Wrong. Aholes want exactly what I want: to date and hang out, have fun, and if something develops hurray, if not oh well.

So I must be an ahole, too.

"Nice" people seem to use dating as a spouse audition, which is fine. Just not my bag right now. And definitely not on (or even before) the first date.
 
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czygvtwkr

Guest
vraiblonde said:
Wrong. Aholes want exactly what I want: to date and hang out, have fun, and if something develops hurray, if not oh well.

So I must be an ahole, too.

"Nice" people seem to use dating as a spouse audition, which is fine. Just not my bag right now. And definitely not on (or even before) the first date.
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I think I am confused on your definition of an A-hole, to me A-Hole man behavior is "I really got to buy you dinner first before you **** my ****?"

Or just someone that smacks around his girl and treats her like property.
 
Railroad

Railroad

Routinely Derailed
Same rule goes for both sexes, IMHO. There are some deranged wimmins out there.
 
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takingtimeout

New Member
Toxick- your option 3 is pretty close to reality. It is so hard to meet single people in their 40's and 50's here who don't seem to have major issues. I'm moving out of St. Mary's as soon as my youngest graduates shortly. Maybe an area with more activities and events that aren't already couple oriented will bring better luck. Most women I know in my age group aren't out there with marriage radar; instead they would really like a confident companion with whom to share time instead of always planning girl nights or cuddling with the dog. (which are not always bad things):) If a relationship progresses to something deeper then great. If not, that happens and it is okay.
And Vriablond was pretty spot on. Most adults, male or female, who have already been married or raised families, don't want a partner who smothers them.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

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czygvtwkr said:
to me A-Hole man behavior is "I really got to buy you dinner first before you **** my ****?"
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You know, that's something else.

The answer is no, you don't have to buy me dinner first. If I *** your *** it's because I like you, not because you fed me. I'm in the happy position that I don't have to trade sex for food or a couple of beers.

Men have weird ideas about chit, which is why I don't really like most of them.
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
vraiblonde said:
Because you don't know how to freaking act. None of you.

You asked me for a drink. I accepted and we set a day and time. Then you proceeded to blow up my phone with minute long VMs and rapidfire texting, including pics of your pets doing cute things. We haven't even had our first date yet and I already know I don't want to see you again.

We met casually and you asked me for my number. I gave it to you and you waited a couple days to call and ask me to dinner. So far, so good. We went to dinner and had a nice time. The next day you asked me if I wanted to do something that evening, and I told you no because I already had plans. You got pissy and asked, "Oh, what, you have some other guy on the line?" like you have a right to be jealous of anything I do. After one date.

We were friends, casually dated a few times, then one night you decided to lay a liplock on me out of the blue, although I didn't not indicate that you should do so or encourage it in any way. I ducked out of it, laughed, played it off, and sent you out the door. The next day you sent me an embarrassingly sexual text specifying the effect that non-kiss had on you and how you would like to follow it up.

You may be "nice" but you have no social skills to speak of. You come across as needy and pathetic, expecting too much WAY too soon. This is why women don't want to date you and prefer the "aholes" who go out regularly, are self-confident, and know how this stuff is supposed to go down.

PS, I don't blow you off because I'm playing hard to get. I blow you off because I'm not interested. That you decided to assert yourself and "take charge" when I told you I wasn't interested just made me out and out not like you.

So now you "nice guys" know why aholes get laid and you don't.
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How the flying hell is this guy a 'nice' guy, huh???? In what universe is someone this passive/aggression, socially insecure and lacking in self confidence a 'nice' guy???????

A 'nice' guy can be socially awkward and perhaps wait too long but, that's not what you're describing here.

This isn't a 'nice' guy. This is someone whose working on the pit when he's not taking 'cute' pictures of his freaking pets.

Nice guy. Sheesh...
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Larry Gude said:
How the flying hell is this guy a 'nice' guy, huh????
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They self-identify as "nice guys", contrasting themselves to the aholes that break hearts left and right, while lamenting that "women don't like nice guys".

Toxick put it rather well:

Toxick said:
What I'm looking for is a nice guy. Before I continue, I should probably elaborate on that. When I say a "Nice Guy", I'm not talking about you pathetic little worms that whine and complain because pretty girls date so-called a-holes when they could be dating a clingy little douche geekboy like you. NEWSFLASH: You're not nearly as nice as you think you are, and those a-holes are not as a-holey as you think they are. I should also point out that when I say "nice guy" there is some emphasis on the word "guy". I don't want a preening little metrosexual dancing around my house. I want to see someone wearing a football jersey from time to time. Sometimes I want to see someone come into the house with grease striped in their 5 o'clock shadow from working under the car. I want someone who can stand up in the middle of doing it and not drop me onto the floor. If you own anything that has glitter in it, or have ever watched anything that has Oprah in it, press the Back button and have yourself a good day.
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And so did Nickel:

Nickel said:
Guys (or people in general) who feel the need to label themselves are almost always off the mark entirely. The self-described "nice guys" are usually socially retarded at best and use the "nice guys finish last" schtick as an excuse for not being able to sustain a normal relationship. Or, like you said, they say they're nice but they're really a tool. I think that some women like the drama and excitement of dating #######s, but just as many actually want to spend their time with someone who isn't an idiot.
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Vince

Vince

......
This is why I don't date. Too much drama and too complicated. If I run into a woman I like and she likes me...:shrug: sure I'll ask her out. If she decides she doesn't want to see me anymore....oh well. :shrug: Life is too short. Enjoy your family and friends. Don't complicate sh!t with relationships.
 
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