I like both of my ex-husbands and once things settled down we had a friendly relationship. What I liked about them, I still liked and didn't have to put up with that part I didn't like anymore - PERFECT! But there're a lot of people who have REALLY!! bad feelings toward their exes, even after years and years.
Why?
Both of my divorces were friendly and mostly drama-free, but acrimonious splits are way more common. I'm just curious what the problem was? Was it because one person wanted out and the other one didn't want them to go? Just being a jerk for the sake of jerkiness? Hard feelings because of infidelity? Cheating?
Why the bad split and why haven't you (or them) gotten over it already?
OMG, where do I begin?
You would think after 20 years of marriage my ex and I would get along, but we don't. I'm still not quite sure why but I suspect several things.
1. He left for the third time and wanted to come back. At that point, I wouldn't let him. Three strikes and your out.
2. His dreams were shattered-- "I wanted my life to turn out differently. I worked hard for this and now I lost my family and home", which is true enough. He did lose everything he worked hard for.
3. I got the kids after a custody battle.
4. I got the use of the house we built together.
5. His subsequent girlfriend is jealous and feeds negativity.
6. I subsequently had a much younger boyfriend, which I can only guess made him feel inadequate. (Yes, it was my rebound and a damn good one too.)
7. He had to pay a decent sum in child support, but hey we have four kids together so it wasn't going to be fluff, right? I went a few years with him paying nothing anyway.
The ex is the one who filed for divorce and insisted on going through the courts. Most typical divorces cost, what, about 3 grand? I spent over 8 grand when all was said and done and it took three years instead of one. My lawyer was frustrated with how petty he was. His own lawyer stated she had to get him away from his girlfriend to get anything accomplished. This was his second lawyer, he fired his first lawyer because he wasn't telling him what he wanted to hear. Ironically, he would have fared better had he just negotiated with me instead of bringing in the lawyers.
He makes decisions just to hurt me regardless of what it does to the kids. They see this and my girls say their father is immature. After six years of dealing with this even I don't want to be reasonable anymore, but I try because it's a matter of living with my own conscience and doing my best not to put the kids in the middle. Sometimes that happens anyway, but I do my best.
My bf of the last 2-1/2 years used to wonder why the ex and I couldn't get along. It took him about six months of seeing things for himself before he came to realize my ex is just a dick for the sake of being a dick. Before my bf would say, "Why don't you...", but now he says, "How can you let him..." My answer is, again, a clear conscience.
My bf has asked me to marry him four times. My experience with my ex husband has soured me on any thought of marriage. I'm desperately in love with the man, but it will be a long time before I desire anything legal again. And if/when I do, I'll have a prenup and I'm not a rich woman.
I can't tell you how badly I wish the situation were different and that my ex and I could be friendly, but it is what it is. Believe me, I have tons of gray hair as a result. It's tested the limits of my strength and I've come to find I'm a damn strong woman. I get jealous of you and others who are able to be nice and friendly.
Of course, in all fairness, there are two sides to every story and I'm sure my ex would tell you something completely different.
She sent me a threatening email stating that if I ever talked to him again, she would make me sorry and she would tell me husband I was "flirting with an ex." 
"Why would anyone write an email in pink?" 
My husband are so smort. 
Funny! 
