Worst ex-spouse ever?

[Bann]

I thank you all for helping me understand and giving me your inputs on this.

If I come away with anything it is this regarding this matter....

Most of the Females on this forum who are custodial divorced parents have the following:

- At least one bad EX that they are dealing with
- Are totally incapable of having a conversation in which they can leave out their personal opinions and just think about the question at hand.

I can see this might turn into another Jennifer@Red Robin thread so I am going to move on.

BTW: Might want to alter the forum rules to express that "some" people do not have to abide by them! Those people and their minions.

 

[Bann]

I am not an attorney but I stayed in a...well that is a lie I was at home, but.

The court which has jurisdiction in your case applied the law of THAT state and cares not, nor should they the laws of another state. VA doesn't give a rats ass about MD law even if one of the parents moved there, nor can they since VA courts have no jurisdiction nor do they have authority to enforce another states laws.

In most states, unknown if Maryland is one if you have primary physical custody (Custodial parent) you maintain the primary residence, utilities and responsibility for primary care, feeding and clothing. CS is calculated on combined income, - children from previous relationships and proportioned according to the ratio of income. Special consideration is given when the time spent with the NCP exceeds a preset amount of time. In some cases 100 days. the CS calculation takes into account not only the physical custodians responsibility for establishing a primary residence but visitation with the NCP.

In the end I agree while the child is with the NCP for extended periods IE: 8 weeks, CS payments to the CP should be suspended, but I would not go so far as to say the CS payment should be reversed. You see you are basing NCP and CP status on time spent whereas the court is establishing a responsibility for a primary residence.

(not that a few of us haven't tried to explain this already)

 

[MarieB]

Yes, but ...in the beginning they were so gung ho to see dad that they didn't care.

NOW, they're older. They choose whether to see him or not. They're choosing not - more and more.

Depends upon the circumstances. My nephew loved the time with my ex BIL, even in his tiny one bedroom apartment. Having a loving and attentive parent is the most important thing, and they had fun during their visits


Unfortunately when couples with kids split, they have to maintain two households which is usually more expensive than maintaining one with all of them. The custodial parent must maintain a home that is "suitable" for the kids and what would be at least somewhat similar to their previous home.

The non-custodial parent in the end may not be able to maintain the previous standard of living, but that also is true for the custodial parent

I hope we never divorce

 

[SG_Player1974]

WOW... Lots of BITTER people here.

There seems to be a misunderstanding that I am actually upset that I am not getting PAID by my ex during summers. THAT IS THE FARTHEST FROM THE TRUTH!!!! I did explain a bit of what my circumstance are however, I do not recall EVER complaining that I was not receiving payment. I only replied with rebuttals and played the devil's advocate.

I make plenty of money and have no need for extra. I take good care of my children and we have an excellent relationship.

The ENTIRE point of my asking the questions about CS payments was NOTHING more than that....... a question to get opinions and possibly answers as to why the system is not set up that way.

I received some of those opinions and answers however, as expected on a public forum, the majority of the responses were slanted with personal experience and some with ignorance.

Anyways, I thank you all for contributing and those chosen few for being subjective and providing GOOD answers.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

anyways, i thank you all for contributing and those chosen few for being subjective and providing good answers.

you are welcome

 

[Pete]

OK I have to give credit where credit is due. My Ex's aunt died yesterday and she is trying to talk the family (all well off except for her) to give our son her old car.

should I go into my deadbeat spreadsheet and give her credit for the book value against the $35,000 in back child support?

 

[Chasey_Lane]

should I go into my deadbeat spreadsheet and give her credit for the book value against the $35,000 in back child support?

No.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

OK I have to give credit where credit is due. My Ex's aunt died yesterday and she is trying to talk the family (all well off except for her) to give our son her old car.

should I go into my deadbeat spreadsheet and give her credit for the book value against the $35,000 in back child support?

No. Give the book value credit to her dead Aunt.

Does the ex at least TRY to help with your son? Does she have a job? Is she a crack head that just smokes up what money she makes?

Does she have a relatonship with your son?

Is she a good mother?

It all boils down to, does she try. If she really, really tries, maybe you could give her some credit, if he does get the car. And what kind of car is it?

 

[Radiant1]

OK I have to give credit where credit is due. My Ex's aunt died yesterday and she is trying to talk the family (all well off except for her) to give our son her old car.

should I go into my deadbeat spreadsheet and give her credit for the book value against the $35,000 in back child support?

No.

 

[vraiblonde]

OK I have to give credit where credit is due. My Ex's aunt died yesterday and she is trying to talk the family (all well off except for her) to give our son her old car.

should I go into my deadbeat spreadsheet and give her credit for the book value against the $35,000 in back child support?

So much for that sportscar he was hoping for.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

So much for that sportscar he was hoping for.

That's why I asked what kind of car. If it's a grocery getter, he might be better off giving her the credit towards child support and saving himself from having to buy that sportscar and pay the insurance on it

 

[Pete]

So much for that sportscar he was hoping for.

A 2007 Ford Escort with 10K miles. I am sure we can bolt a fin on the trunk

 

[Bann]

Depends upon the circumstances. My nephew loved the time with my ex BIL, even in his tiny one bedroom apartment. Having a loving and attentive parent is the most important thing, and they had fun during their visits


Unfortunately when couples with kids split, they have to maintain two households which is usually more expensive than maintaining one with all of them. The custodial parent must maintain a home that is "suitable" for the kids and what would be at least somewhat similar to their previous home.

The non-custodial parent in the end may not be able to maintain the previous standard of living, but that also is true for the custodial parent

I hope we never divorce

In OUR case my kids used to love just the idea of going to see dad. But he plead poverty (when in fact he has a good income even without CS & he really just mismanages money) and he won't take off ("has no leave") and pretty much only took them to a movie once every couple of weeks or out to eat at a fast food joint 3 or 4 nights a week. He didn't have anything "to do" at his place and just hanging out in a 1 bdrm apt. all day & night gets old.

Their decision to not ask to see him in summers or Christmas (and Thing2 recently turned down the opportunity to see him) not mine. Thing1 spent 2 days there last month & wasn't super enthused with the visit. That's saying a lot for him.

I don't care anymore. :shrug: Except for some normal bumps that all parents & kids have in the teen years, I have a wonderful relationship with my sons. I know I have provided them food, clothing, a nice, secure, stable home, a nice neighborhood & tons of memories of places we've been, activities from rock climbing to snow tubing, school activities/camps , nd all kinds of free day trips to DC to learn about our Nation. I am the CP and I have had my sons basically 24/7 365 (give or take 5-7 days) for 3 years. All on $600/kid a month.

 

[Bann]

OK I have to give credit where credit is due. My Ex's aunt died yesterday and she is trying to talk the family (all well off except for her) to give our son her old car.

should I go into my deadbeat spreadsheet and give her credit for the book value against the $35,000 in
back child support?

Newp.

 

[sockgirl77]

Newp.

She didn't give him that card. The dead aunt did.

 

[vraiblonde]

should I go into my deadbeat spreadsheet and give her credit for the book value against the $35,000 in back child support?

You might as well, right?

 

[Pete]

You might as well, right?

I have a theory. See all these people who suck win the lottery. I am keeping the tally going even though I know I wont ever see it in the hopes she hits power ball and I can swoop in and claim it before the other creditors do

 

[Bann]

WOW... Lots of BITTER people here.

There seems to be a misunderstanding that I am actually upset that I am not getting PAID by my ex during summers. THAT IS THE FARTHEST FROM THE TRUTH!!!! I did explain a bit of what my circumstance are however, I do not recall EVER complaining that I was not receiving payment. I only replied with rebuttals and played the devil's advocate.

I make plenty of money and have no need for extra. I take good care of my children and we have an excellent relationship.

The ENTIRE point of my asking the questions about CS payments was NOTHING more than that....... a question to get opinions and possibly answers as to why the system is not set up that way.

I received some of those opinions and answers however, as expected on a public forum, the majority of the responses were slanted with personal experience and some with ignorance.

Anyways, I thank you all for contributing and those chosen few for being subjective and providing GOOD answers.

Some of your responses and reactions to replies were pretty hostile for someone "only asking a question".

Also, many people give their answers based on their own personal experiences - how else do people really relate to one another? No one knew the state you filed for your divorce in - many were answering with their experiences or from experiences they knew about from others.

So, you can get off your high NCP horse now.

 

[kom526]

A 2007 Ford Escort with 10K miles. I am sure we can bolt a fin on the trunk

Get one of these as a gas cap .... and viola! sportscar