P.S. DoWhat..if you dislike me so much, why do you hang on my every word and listen so intently?? One would think you would have better things to do.
I don't dislike you. I think you are a very interesting person.
P.S. DoWhat..if you dislike me so much, why do you hang on my every word and listen so intently?? One would think you would have better things to do.
My breakup wasn't quite so dramatic, but left me with absolutely no desire to ever talk with her or her family again.
She went thru menopause, and it was like a switch got flipped in her head. All of a sudden this person that I had spent over 20 years with as a close, loving and live-sharing wife decided I was positively evil, stalking her, lying to her. Not one bit of it was true, or even remotely justifiable, but no amount of talking would change her mind. I became totally depressed, stopped talking to her altogether after many months. She eventually left for California where the grass was greener. I filed for the divorce and it was uncontested.
As it turns out the grass wasn't much greener over there and she returned to the area a few years later. When I see her, I walk past with no eye contact and on emotion. Just another face in the crowd. It took me 10 years to recover emotionally and monetarily, and I just have no reason to ever talk to her again.
I'm sorry, but when someone complains about a "second" ex., there is a not a new problem, there's a continuing problem.
I had a friend who wanted me to be the Best Man at his fifth wedding. I declined and told him if he really loved her, he should let her marry someone else. The marriage lasted three months.
I only wanted to be married once.
You summed it up really well; it is that simple. You cannot control your spouse/SO. It is heartbreaking, and we move on; some take longer than others. Again, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I am blessed that I am not still married to my ex; and my second marriage is wonderful. The only thing I hate is that it made my children confused and sad, when their father just walked out without notice. That was the hard part; making sure my children would survive, healthy and whole. I know for a fact, that my ex's second marriage is not a happy one, but they will see it to the bitter end, rather than look like dumdums (ex left me for current wife). The valuable lesson I learned is to not be consumed with hatred, but forgive the one that has hurt you. Being angry only hurts oneself, and does not hurt the person the anger is directed toward; it feeds them. Furthermore, you learn that they really 'do not know what they do', and the devastation that they leave in their wake. There is nothing one can do about someone else's narcissism. This situation taught me the true meaning of forgiveness. On another note, my mother always told me the best revenge is to be happy, and thrive. She was right, as always!
Oh hell no. I'd sat in that lobby so long that Bitch would have had to climb out a window to go home.
The valuable lesson I learned is to not be consumed with hatred, but forgive the one that has hurt you. Being angry only hurts oneself, and does not hurt the person the anger is directed toward; it feeds them. ...
This situation taught me the true meaning of forgiveness.
I became totally depressed, stopped talking to her altogether after many months.
...
It took me 10 years to recover emotionally and monetarily, and I just have no reason to ever talk to her again.
Astronaut..no. A little bit Psycho- Oh yes. wife #2 bloodied my son's nose (who was 4 at the time). No one messes with my kid.
I was just teasing btw
I have been throught the divorce process with children involved and I must say that it is probably 10x more likely that you will see the MAN being bitter than the woman. Much of the reasoning is what Radiant stated within her excellent post.
1) Man and woman work hard to establish a life together as far as money and material items. When divorce happens, it is often the WOMAN who reaps the benefits. The court is slanted this way.
2) Man and woman decide to have children together and raise a family. When divorce happens, it is VERY often that the woman gets custody of the children (unless they can be proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are either abusive to the children, hoplessly addicted to drugs, or practically selling themselves on the street) The man ends up with limited access to the children and a hefty support payment to fulfill. The court is slanted this way.
In the end, any man that is getting divorced has probably heard or knows of the uphill battle that they must go through. After months and even years of dealing with this and finally facing reality, I can understand why a man would be quite bitter about it.
I know I am still bitter about my divorce. Not crazy style but, I dont go out of my way to be nice to my ex.
In the end, any man that is getting divorced has probably heard or knows of the uphill battle that they must go through. After months and even years of dealing with this and finally facing reality, I can understand why a man would be quite bitter about it.
Many times it is the man who initiates the divorce, either directly or indirectly. When a woman has raised children and kept house so that the man can focus on his career, it is by rights that she should be compensated for that and not left high and dry just because Cletus needs to find himself. It is also by rights that he should pay for his children's upkeep.
Yes, there are men who get screwed big time in a divorce that was not their fault, but most of the time when I see/hear some guy talking about the hosing his ex gave him he either bears some responsibility or is just being a dick talking out his ass.
One of the few times my first ex and I had it out was over child support, which was instigated by his wife. In fact, every time he and I had it out it was over financial stuff with the kids that his wife didn't think they deserved. Now, he and I agreed between ourselves what he would pay in support, which was much less than a court would have ordered. And each time he tentatively called me to complain, I reminded him of this fact. And PS, I could have screwed him for alimony as well but chose not to do so. Yet still he, egged on by his wife, complained. Even though HE was the one who had girlfriends when we were married, HE was the one who ran up credit card debt, and HE was the one who chose to marry a woman who had no desire to be gainfully employed.
Not bitter, merely stating the facts and Larry will back me up on this. So I really take it with a grain of salt when I hear some man moaning about how his ex-wife took him to the cleaners.
My daughters father has NEVER kept our daughter over night. His visitation comprises of a few hours each month. He dosesn't pay child support regularly, and then bitches when he does. I'd rather he just stayed away, signed over his rights to me totally, and called it a day. He's not a father, he's a sperm donor.
My ex gets a C+ for visitation. The downgrade is because there were many times I'd call him on a Friday afternoon to see what time he wanted me to drop the kids off, and he was on travel without telling me beforehand. When the kids visited him for a month getdown in the summer, he didn't have to pay child support for that month. However, he got it into his head that I should pay *him* for that month. And when he moved to CA, for some reason he thought I should kick in for the kids' airfare to come see him.
All of those snags (except the travel non-communication) were his wife's idea, btw. He is actually a decent guy.
I hope that I never, ever, ever have an ex-husband.
Something tells me you won't ever have one... you are more the "Gee, he went out to feed the chickens and I have no idea where he disappeared to" type...
Something tells me you won't ever have one... you are more the "Gee, he went out to feed the chickens and I have no idea where he disappeared to" type...