My dad hasn't been part of my life for years. He was physically in the same house growing up but never in the house emotionally. My parents divorced and once I graduated high school, he moved to VA. For a few years I only saw him at family functions. He fully expected me to act like we were regularly in contact with each other and that we weren't virtual strangers. After a little while, it just got to be to frustrating and tiresome to keep up the charade anymore so I just finished what he had started-cutting him out of my life.
My brother keeps trying to maintain a relationship with our father. Now, this is relevant since my brother and I live next door to each other. My father is well aware of this fact. My father has never seen the inside of my house. One day, my father and I ran into each other by the mailboxes at the end of the street. When I told him that I was pregnant, his response was "That's great" with a one arm side hug type thing. As soon as his arm dropped, he started to walk back to my brother's house.
Until that day, I had always wondered "what if" as I'm sure just about every child who has an absentee parent does. His reaction that day let me know that we were never going to have a relationship in any regard. Not as father/daughter, not as acquaintances, and certainly not as mature adults.
So, long story short, I say give your daughter the card. The fact that she hasn't tried to get in touch with him tells me that she has already decided that she doesn't want him in her life and it is very doubtful that anything in the card will change her mind. If anything, it may solidify it and remove all doubt.
And no, I don't think that it is your place to see the contents before she does. If she wants you to know what was in it, she will let you know.
