Ask A Ninja

pingrr

Well-Known Member
Here Are Some examples of Ninja Wisdom

Ninja should never enter the Ultimate Fighting Championship.

Never scream just before attacking another ninja from behind. This will only alarm the ninja that you are about to do something funky.

Always wear a mask. You never know when you will see someone that you don't want to see you. TIP: (read this over and over till it makes sense)

Always carry a spare ninja uniform. You never know when you will need to change into something less dirty in mid-battle.

Never store shuriken in your underwear.

Try to use the swords of your enemies whenever possible. This way you can throw them into other bad ninja without having to worry about retrieving it later.

When trying to stop a run-away golf cart its best to pick up the back end (with hand if possible) so the wheels just spin in the air while the occupants start to get scared.

When fighting on the golf course, crushed golf balls make a good blinding powder. Just grip the golfball firmly between thumb and for-fingers, and then squeeze!

When necessary, the ninja star can be thrown with ninja toes. For example, say you are trying to gain entry into an airborne helicopter. You are using both hands to hold on and you want to plant a shuriken in the eyeball of the pilot, what do you do? Shuriken with ninja feet!

Instead of forging your own calthrops, you can simply use the kids toy "jacks". If you are a evil ninja, you can just steal them from a child, or even a lesser-ninja.

Simple way to tell what time it is without a clock is to call the local phone operator and ask them. Simple, but effective. Don't tell them your name.

When preparing for battle, take some time to do all the hand signs of kuji-in. You will feel better and look cool at the same time.

Always run sideways when possible. With proper application you can run through walls.

When jumping far distances, always roll up into a ball. It will give an extra 50 feet of jumping height.

Want to jump higher? Plant a corn stalk. As it grows each day jump over it. Gradually you will increase your jumping height as the corn grows.

Always use your ninja names when speaking to each other in battle. Don't let sneaky golfers listen in to your conversations and wreck your plans.

Try to fight in mid-air whenever possible.

Try to keep your weapons on display, even in storage. You never know when you will need them to look pretty for a pre-revenge scene.

Wearing black eyeliner is good for blending in with the environments. Especially good for public missions where photo ops may arise. Don't forget to wear your mask
 

virgovictoria

Tight Pants and Lipstick
PREMO Member
pingrr said:
If there are any questions anyone would like to ask a ninja please ask.


Here are a few basic facts about Ninja's

Ninja don't sweat. Not even during ninja sex. Ever.
Bullets can't kill a ninja. Even 1 million bullets can not kill a ninja.
The Fart of a Ninja is a million times deadlier than the venom of a rattlesnake. With the right wind, a single fart can wipe out a small village.
Ninja invented skateboarding.
Only a ninja can kill a ninja. Regular humans are useless against a ninja.
Ninja never wear headbands with the word "ninja" printed on them.
Ninja can breath underwater anytime they want.
Ninja can change complete wardrobes in less than 1 second.
Ninja don't smoke, but they do use smoke bombs.
Ninja always land on their feet. If they don't have feet they will land on their nubs.
Ninja invented the internet. All of it.
Ninja don't eat or drink very much, and they never have to go to the bathroom.
Ninja always move to America when making a new start as a non-assassin.
Ninja don't play sports. Unless killing is a sport. They always win.
Ninja can crush golfballs with 2 fingers, any two fingers.
Ninja have a bad temper when they lose at anything. They will usually cut off the winners head before they have time to brag.
Ninja lie all the time. Even when the truth serves better, ninja will lie anyway.
Ninja swords are always straight with a square handle guard. Always. Curves are for girls.
Whenever a ninja masturbates people get hurt.

If there is anything else about the art on Ninjitsu please let me know. I am a Ninja so I am speaking from experience..

Dwight? Is that you?
 

pingrr

Well-Known Member
Ninjas are mamels. Hot blooded hairy animals who don't lay eggs. They live in the woods or in Dojos or in houses like you and me. They graze. Babt ninjas eat blood-milk. Basically their mating season is whenever they want, which is awsome.
 

pingrr

Well-Known Member
Ninjas fight ALL the time. Ninja means "fight" in German and Mexican. It is a Ninjas nature to always fight. If they stop fighting they start to loose power and energy, and I don't want that to ever happen.
 
J

juggy4805

Guest
pingrr said:
Ninjas are mamels. Hot blooded hairy animals who don't lay eggs. They live in the woods or in Dojos or in houses like you and me. They graze. Babt ninjas eat blood-milk. Basically their mating season is whenever they want, which is awsome.


By chance would your master be the great honolocmakiana?
 

pingrr

Well-Known Member
Ninjas hang out in Dojos (a lot) Dojos are kinda like bars where ninjas go to relax and/or meet babes. You can do anything you want in a dojo. If you want to eat a whole pizza by yourself go ahead. Or if you just want to goof around no problem.
 

Mikeinsmd

New Member
mainman said:
mainman...
Me and Mainman are ninjas and we'll kick your pingrr ass!! :boxing:

Here we are posing.
 

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Geek

New Member
pingrr said:
Here are some examples of Ninja Etiquette

Ninja never bring a gun to a sword fight. Ninja don't use guns. Ever.

The only way to end a ninja clan is to break the head ninja's sword.

Ninja never show their real face. If the need to show a face arises, it should be a very shiny mask. This is the only possible substitute.

Bullets can't kill a ninja. Even 1 million bullets can not kill a ninja.

When attacking a single ninja with a clan of ninja (more than 4, less than that is only a posse), it is proper ninja etiquette to fight with only one ninja at a time. This makes for a much nicer fight to the death.
NOTE: if you are planning to fight the mack daddy ninja, be sure to bring lots of lesser ninja to warm him up for your grand entrance.

When fighting with bow and arrows, a proper ninja will always destroy his bow if one of his arrows is cought in mid-air, and then broken over one knee of another ninja.

Ninja stars and sake are a perfectly good currency for ninja payments.

Ninja always use 4 pointed ninja stars. The fancy stars with more than for
points are for the lesser ninja.

Ninja can only use their special dissapearing powers in combination with a smoke bomb. This is not negociable.

When training with other ninja, it is proper to group off into different colors. Stay with your color at all times! Failure to keep with your color results in a circle kicking, where you are in the center of the circle.

Ninja always wear tabi boots. Even when they sleep.

When confronting other ninja, always try to wear a different color than that of the ninja you are attacking. It is proper ninja-ettiquette to give "home" color to the defending ninja.

Ninja don't sleep. I know I said they do above, but I lied.

It's expected that ninja will lie from time to time.

When encountering large falls and leaps it is appropriate to always give the right-of-way to the first ninja to jump.
With that said it is equally appropriate to give the needed time and space for the following ninja to jump and catch up.

Ninja never wear headbands with the word 'ninja' printed on them. This would be a dead give away when trying to blend in. NOTE: Sometimes as a joke the elder ninja make the geek of the clan wear such a headband. Sort of like a "dunce" cap.

I want my headband.
 

harleygirl

Working for the weekend
pingrr said:
Ninjas hang out in Dojos (a lot) Dojos are kinda like bars where ninjas go to relax and/or meet babes. You can do anything you want in a dojo. If you want to eat a whole pizza by yourself go ahead. Or if you just want to goof around no problem.
They have to be 21 to get into Dojos......now go finish your homework :buttkick:
 

pingrr

Well-Known Member
Ninjas hang out with sweetest of people. Throughout the ages ninjas have hung out with kings, popes, jesters, boxers, vampires, and geniuses. But most of the time, ninjas just hang out with their clan, which is a bunch of budies who either live in the same neiborhood or whose moms know each other.
 

K_Jo

Pea Brain
PREMO Member
pingrr said:
If there is anything else about the art on Ninjitsu please let me know. I am a Ninja so I am speaking from experience..
C_Jo said to add ninja only have sex with other ninja and since only men are ninja, all ninja are gay.

Who knew the plural of ninja was ninja? :coffee:

Should that be a poll?
 

Mikeinsmd

New Member
K_Jo said:
C_Jo said to add ninja only have sex with other ninja and since only men are ninja, all ninja are gay.

Who knew the plural of ninja was ninja? :coffee:

Should that be a poll?
C_Jo is wrong and has his hat on too tight!! :nono:
 

MMDad

Lem Putt
pingrr said:
butt rangers hang out with sweetest of people. Throughout the ages butt rangers have hung out with kings, popes, jesters, boxers, vampires, and geniuses. But most of the time, butt rangers just hang out with their clan, which is a bunch of budies who either live in the same neiborhood or whose moms know each other.
:fixed:
 

pingrr

Well-Known Member
K_Jo said:
C_Jo said to add ninja only have sex with other ninja and since only men are ninja, all ninja are gay.

Who knew the plural of ninja was ninja? :coffee:

Should that be a poll?

Ninjas have sex with whoever they want. Even hot babes who are not ninjas.

<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c237/borkgordon/ninja1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>
 
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