Husbands vs Horses

[Loper]

I was with a horse girl for about 2 years. I had never dealt with them at all before. I had fun, I wanted to get into Steer wrestling but after I broke my arm I couldn't. It wasn't just horses with her though, it was her 14 dogs 6 cats and heck I can't even remember what else. I got tired of the animals coming first, always. I just knew I wouldn't be happy in the long run. Call me a bad person if you want but I just couldn't come second to an animal. I knew it was like this when I had a surgery go wrong, and she was not by my side, she was out playing with her dogs.

Well for the record, my hubby is ABSOLUTELY fantastic when it comes down to the animals! (He's put up with, dealt with, fixed, many of things over the years) I COULDN'T ask for more! Yet, if he was in a situation where he needed me, I'd be right there for him, PERIOD no questions asked! Would I make sure my animals were taken care of? YES! Would I leave his side? NO! I think I have enough friends that would come to my aid to take care of the animals if there was a need.

Now if said SO just came out one day and said it's me or the animals, SO would be walking on down the street.

 

[FrmGrl]

What would you do if your SO said that the only way you could stay together is that you give up horses forever?

It would go something like.. "Well honey thats ok, with the extra alimony I will be getting I can afford another to keep me company"

 

[fredsaid2]

No pain anymore.... When I moved up here I had to give up horses for the first two years. I have had horses my entire life. I was like a fish out of water. I thought we would be moving back to FL after those two years, but alas we may be here forever it seems... With all the horse stuff I have been doing the last couple of years again I can see the threats on the horizon. I figure this time he can pack sand.

There has to be some point of compromise. Doesn't he realize your riding makes you happy and therefore a happy person to be around when you are home?

 

[Sadielady]

There has to be some point of compromise. Doesn't he realize your riding makes you happy and therefore a happy person to be around when you are home?

He just doesn't like being stuck watching the kidlets, but they're his kids too. He is gone for months at a time. I figure there is no comparison. He just needs to find a hobby.

 

[fredsaid2]

He just doesn't like being stuck watching the kidlets, but they're his kids too. He is gone for months at a time. I figure there is no comparison. He just needs to find a hobby.

Absolutely! Fair is fair. Then you can share the time you need to be away. I was lucky, DD became interested in horses young so we did all of that together.

Maybe you could trade lessons for babysitting w/ an older teen at the barn? Give hubby some extra free time?

 

[Sadielady]

Absolutely! Fair is fair. Then you can share the time you need to be away. I was lucky, DD became interested in horses young so we did all of that together.

Maybe you could trade lessons for babysitting w/ an older teen at the barn? Give hubby some extra free time?

Actually we each take two nights "off" a week where we can do anything we want with our free time (no kid duty). I give lessons. He usually works, but that is his choice.

 

[devinej]

so you both spend your "off" nights working? that's no good!

 

[Sadielady]

so you both spend your "off" nights working? that's no good!

I love teaching, so I don't mind....

 

[Eventer29]

Lol strange that this came up on the forum tonight. I was talking with my bf of 8 years durring dinner and somehow having kids came up and he says BTW when we have kids you WILL NOT be getting on a horse when you are pregnant..Makes me think..IF we have kids. I decided to let it go, I pick my fights carefully, no use fighting about something like that when I am in no way ready to have kids anyways lol.
If it came down to it and he ever wanted me to choose the horses or him, he know my answer. I told him before we "got serious" my animals come first. He knows that I love him very much and if he were in trouble id be there with him.But if it came down to it, if he were to actually ask me to choose, he must not love me enough to know I couldn't live with out my horses.
I can't complain too much. He is pretty good. Yeah he gets jealous of the time I spend at the barn, and on here chatting about horses, and my incessant horse talk. He helps out and I think enjoys some of the projects we have worked on. If I whine that I need a new something or other horsey, he offers to pay for it, though I don't let him. There is a lot about horsey people/life he dosent get. The late nights before and sometimes after a horse show. How most horse people dont mind being dirty or smelling like a horse most of the time lol. How many horse people would rather clean stalls than house. (raises hand in air!!!)

My sister went through a rough patch with her old bf. He basically made her choose horses or him. It took her a while to realize what was happening. There was never an ultimatum, just more and more dissaproval and seeking control of her barn time and time with her family in general. Finally she came to her senses left her bf and came back home. She is a much happier person now that she can spend time with her horses and has a wonderful bf who works his arse off helping around the farm with maintainance and new projects.

 

[teverheart2002]

so you both spend your "off" nights working? that's no good!

Just an idea - maybe you should both take one of those night's off for a date night and spend time together. Maybe this is his way of saying that he misses you. Just an outsider looking in.

 

[TotalControl]

What would you do if your SO said that the only way you could stay together is that you give up horses forever?

BYE !!!!!

 

[Magnum]

Well for the record, my hubby is ABSOLUTELY fantastic when it comes down to the animals! (He's put up with, dealt with, fixed, many of things over the years) I COULDN'T ask for more! Yet, if he was in a situation where he needed me, I'd be right there for him, PERIOD no questions asked! Would I make sure my animals were taken care of? YES! Would I leave his side? NO! I think I have enough friends that would come to my aid to take care of the animals if there was a need.

Now if said SO just came out one day and said it's me or the animals, SO would be walking on down the street.

Well I think that is great, no one should ever ask you to give up something you love.

Here is a question I was going to ask my ex to see her Family Values but never had the chance, I learned the answer through a similar situation.

If your SO was let say walking down the road leading your horse. SO gets hit by a car and rushed away to the hospital, horse runs off. Do you go to the hospital to be with you SO or do you go look for your horse?

 

[aps45819]

If your SO was let say walking down the road leading your horse. SO gets hit by a car and rushed away to the hospital, horse runs off. Do you go to the hospital to be with you SO or do you go look for your horse?

I'm not a horse person, but I'd go catch the horse first.

I'm not a doctor and would be of no use in the hospital, but I could secure the horse which is both valuable property and potentially a major liability if it causes any damage while I'm sitting in a waiting room at the hospital.

 

[Sadielady]

Just an idea - maybe you should both take one of those night's off for a date night and spend time together. Maybe this is his way of saying that he misses you. Just an outsider looking in.

We have a date night every Saturday night. That is probably what keeps us together. Everything is fine at this point, but when I have a student that wants to have an early Sat. morning lesson, he pitches a fit and says that is not my "time" off.

 

[Sadielady]

Well I think that is great, no one should ever ask you to give up something you love.

Here is a question I was going to ask my ex to see her Family Values but never had the chance, I learned the answer through a similar situation.

If your SO was let say walking down the road leading your horse. SO gets hit by a car and rushed away to the hospital, horse runs off. Do you go to the hospital to be with you SO or do you go look for your horse?

Well.....how badly was my husband hurt? If he wouldn't realise I was even there I would look for my horse then go to the hospital. Other people would be taking care of him. I would want to make sure my horse was not going to get hit by a car. That could kill my horse and other people too.

 

[KizerSoSay]

Silly hetero's. Just give your man a good 'rogering' more often, and he will be cleaning your boots and carrying your saddle!

 

[Sadielady]

One time I gave my husband a leg up onto my TB gelding. My husband landed behind the saddle which made my horse buck. My husband fell forward and the horse decided to give a couple more bucks which flung my husband backwards off the horse's butt. He landed on his back/neck. I saw that he was breathing and moving, so I went and caught the horse and brought him back to my husband. As I was checking on my husband, the horse sniffed him as to say " Why are you laying on the ground?" My husband was ticked off that I let the horse sniff him and still tells this story today. I don't see it as a big deal....do any of you? I have never witnessed anyone fall off the back of a horse like that either. Oh well.

 

[mygoldnhorse]

In some ways I am very fortunate that my husband is also into horses so the.... me or them.... would never come up. We both know to never cross that line......
But that does not mean he would not pitch a fit if he thought that I was compromising spending time with the horses before spending time with him. He's as needy as every other male and it has taken me a long time to learn that.
But, don't think for a minute though that when it comes to the horses we don't have our share of battles....and of course his way is always the right way.

 

[Tazgirl]

1. Tell him bye not to let the door hit him in the arse..

2. Tell him I won't miss him.

3. Pack his bags..

I did give up my horses for almost 30 years. I didn't realize how miserable I was without them. I have been back into it for two years now and loving it all and I am happier then I have been in years. BTW the hubby actually bought his own horse two months ago and is riding.. Show's me he really does love me.........

 

[saddlesore]

I did give up my horses for almost 30 years. I didn't realize how miserable I was without them. I have been back into it for two years now and loving it all and I am happier then I have been in years. BTW the hubby actually bought his own horse two months ago and is riding.. Show's me he really does love me.........

Good on you!