My neighbor went missing this weekend.

[struggler44]

What does "critically missing" mean?

It means: #### you, she has enough friends.....

 

[bresamil]

mgdbaa:

I hate to ask this question but is the reason that everyone uses aliases because they are here illegally? I mean they are definitely part of a criminal ring of some sort.

I am sure the FBI would love to work with you about your situation and could probably tell you what happened to your mom, with a little searching, but they would have to get in to all of these peoples lives. Would this put you at risk? Would these people come after you? Are you still in contact with them to the point where there could find you?

Until you have real documentation, can you work? Get healthcare?

It sounds like you are living off the grid and so are all of these people in "alias" land. There are people that survive very well doing that but it has to be a concious choice. If you want to stay off the grid then give up on finding out anything and create your own new world.

 

[struggler44]

mgdbaa:

I hate to ask this question but is the reason that everyone uses aliases because they are here illegally? I mean they are definitely part of a criminal ring of some sort.

I am sure the FBI would love to work with you about your situation and could probably tell you what happened to your mom, with a little searching, but they would have to get in to all of these peoples lives. Would this put you at risk? Would these people come after you? Are you still in contact with them to the point where there could find you?

Until you have real documentation, can you work? Get healthcare?

It sounds like you are living off the grid and so are all of these people in "alias" land. There are people that survive very well doing that but it has to be a concious choice. If you want to stay off the grid then give up on finding out anything and create your own new world.

Why would a federal agency work with a private citizen when they have no reason to? There is no reasonable expectation of a crime having been committed.... she should hire a PI if she is that concerned with it, after 30 yrs, I wouldn't waste the time or money

 

[bresamil]

Why would a federal agency work with a private citizen when they have no reason to? There is no reasonable expectation of a crime having been committed.... she should hire a PI if she is that concerned with it, after 30 yrs, I wouldn't waste the time or money

Because no one uses their real names (to this day), they have a bunch of false identities and probably false documentation. They'd bargain with her. This would be a nice little sting in fed land. Believe me. Unless of course they're the same folks that brought us a completely undocumented POTUS in which case you'll never hear a word.

 

[struggler44]

Because no one uses their real names (to this day), they have a bunch of false identities and probably false documentation. They'd bargain with her. This would be a nice little sting in fed land. Believe me. Unless of course they're the same folks that brought us a completely undocumented POTUS in which case you'll never hear a word.

I was trying to be somewhat compassionate with my post...... Mom probably didn't want the kid and left her/him, simple, happens all the time. The FBI isn't going to investigate something unless they have a reason to believe a crime may have been committed; therefore a PI would be the alternative.

 

[CableChick]

In 1995 there was a murder of a woman, Bonnie Gray ( James Gray the woman's husband was convicted ) and her fingers were cut off for the rings and to possibly hide her identity ( she was mutilated according to documents )

In 2006, James Gray was found dead in his cell in Jessup.

There is alot more then I can say on this forum. The women that raised me passed away in 02. She had always told me she didn't know what had happened to my real mom. She only knew what the babysitter had told her. A week before the women who raised me died, she told me she had heard rumors that my real mom was murdered. I had mentioned that comment to someone and that person told me that when she was kid, she thought she had over heard the babysitter tell the women who raised me that they cut off her fingers so she could not be identified. That person did not know if they were talking about my real mom or someone else.

Thats why I feel the babysitter knows. Thats why she never called the police and thats why no one ever tried to get me back to my family in Virginia.

I mean, if the babysitter had of taken me back to Virginia where my family was, what was she going to say them?

That babysitter is covering up something or covering for someone.

 

[mgdbaa]

Just go ahead and start writing your book on Word Document. Don't worry about grammar and spelling. Just get your story out on the computer and then fix the grammar and spelling at the end. Remember to save a lot and save it on a CD or memory stick in case the computer crash or power went out. Once you gets all that taken care of, ask a trust friend to read it to help make suggest or fix something. And then go on the internet to look for the list of "publishers" to submit a book to. Most publishers are in New York City.

You can always go to library and ask them for help of where you can submit your books to to get it publish.

I will buy your book and good luck!

AAAwwww, thats sweet. Maybe the notes I have been taking for the past 2 years would work.

 

[idiganthro]

As an adoptee, I can feel a little of your frustration, though our situations are very different! I know it's a long shot, but I would write The Locator (Troy Dunn). They have resources and $$ most of us don't. It can't hurt, all they can do it opt not to try and you're out nothing.

Best of luck!

 

[nomoney]

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

Have you searched this site yet?

 

[prettyinblue]

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

Have you searched this site yet?

mgdbaa,

I know you have been questioning and gathering information for all these years in your search for your mother and I mean no disrespect when I suggest that sometimes it's easier to see things when you're on the outside looking in. Please contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and tell them you do not know who you are and let them look at your situation from 'the outside' without all the stuff you've been told. The story and details you've heard over the years may not based in truth at all and therefore never lead you to your mother's identity.

There is a very real possibility you were abducted and there is a mother/family somewhere looking for YOU.

Thank you for bravely sharing your story here......I suspect it must be very painful for you to explain it. Again, please know that I don't mean to diminish all your efforts or add to your burden but I just really feel you've been given a lot of details that were meant to distract and conceal and that have kept you on the wrong path.

 

[atrusomder]

mgdbaa,

I know you have been questioning and gathering information for all these years in your search for your mother and I mean no disrespect when I suggest that sometimes it's easier to see things when you're on the outside looking in. Please contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and tell them you do not know who you are and let them look at your situation from 'the outside' without all the stuff you've been told. The story and details you've heard over the years may not based in truth at all and therefore never lead you to your mother's identity.

There is a very real possibility you were abducted and there is a mother/family somewhere looking for YOU.

Thank you for bravely sharing your story here......I suspect it must be very painful for you to explain it. Again, please know that I don't mean to diminish all your efforts or add to your burden but I just really feel you've been given a lot of details that were meant to distract and conceal and that have kept you on the wrong path.

I agree, sounds like you've been given lots of details that were meant to distract and conceal who you really are. I think you're on the wrong path.
I would let someone else look into it, from an outsider looking in.

 

[mitzi]

Question - How can a couple or person be granted custody thru the court system when there is no documentation on the true identity of the child? Abandonment? Still, wouldn't they be required to seek information to find the identity of the child? I'm just curious now as to how this situation works within the court system.

 

[glhs837]

mgdbaa,

I know you have been questioning and gathering information for all these years in your search for your mother and I mean no disrespect when I suggest that sometimes it's easier to see things when you're on the outside looking in. Please contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and tell them you do not know who you are and let them look at your situation from 'the outside' without all the stuff you've been told. The story and details you've heard over the years may not based in truth at all and therefore never lead you to your mother's identity.

There is a very real possibility you were abducted and there is a mother/family somewhere looking for YOU.

Thank you for bravely sharing your story here......I suspect it must be very painful for you to explain it. Again, please know that I don't mean to diminish all your efforts or add to your burden but I just really feel you've been given a lot of details that were meant to distract and conceal and that have kept you on the wrong path.

Now thats funny. You say that first bit about looking at it differently, then give a perfect example of that. Every one of us had been operating on the assumption of what info she had being true. You looked at it from a different angle, that still fits other facts, such as being told the babysitter wasn't %100 to be trusted.

 

[migtig]

Question - How can a couple or person be granted custody thru the court system when there is no documentation on the true identity of the child? Abandonment? Still, wouldn't they be required to seek information to find the identity of the child? I'm just curious now as to how this situation works within the court system.

I think it was a different day back in the early 70s, and there weren't as many child advocates and such as there are now. Also in smaller communities, there was a lot more knowledge that would never get documented.

Also since it concerns a minor child, a lot of stuff would have been "sealed" making finding the court records difficult. If the poster doesn't even have her birth certificate, know her place and date of birth, then she can't even request a copy of her BC, which makes the whole thing difficult.

I agree that she should contact the center for missing and exploited children. Maybe the grandmother, if a legit story, would have been looking for her.

 

[JLS]

Maybe you should hire a private investigator.

 

[lovinmaryland]

I think it was a different day back in the early 70s, and there weren't as many child advocates and such as there are now. Also in smaller communities, there was a lot more knowledge that would never get documented.

Also since it concerns a minor child, a lot of stuff would have been "sealed" making finding the court records difficult. If the poster doesn't even have her birth certificate, know her place and date of birth, then she can't even request a copy of her BC, which makes the whole thing difficult.

I agree that she should contact the center for missing and exploited children. Maybe the grandmother, if a legit story, would have been looking for her.

I agree.

Who knows if she was listed as missing or abducted they may have an age progression picture that matches or is similiar to what she looks like now

 

[BadGirl]

I think that the way to find an answer to the identity of your parents is to start with something that is definitive: your dna.

Go get it tested, and have it run through a number of databases to see if there is a "match". Perhaps somewhere in the mix of millions of people, there is a hit that can identify your mom or dad. If you get that information, you at least have a name or two to get you started in locating your parentage and/or extended family.

If there is no dna match, then you can go back to your original path of going by what other people have told you.

Your story is heartbreaking.....not knowing who you are.

 

[TurboK9]

I think that the way to find an answer to the identity of your parents is to start with something that is definitive: your dna.

Go get it tested, and have it run through a number of databases to see if there is a "match". Perhaps somewhere in the mix of millions of people, there is a hit that can identify your mom or dad. If you get that information, you at least have a name or two to get you started in locating your parentage and/or extended family.

If there is no dna match, then you can go back to your original path of going by what other people have told you.

Your story is heartbreaking.....not knowing who you are.

Doesn't really work that way. The DNA database for specific individuals that can be publicly tapped is a very very very small (caonsidering the population) pool. There is no all inclusive public DNA database any more than there is a public fingerprint database... That said, there are LEO databases where the DNA of more recent unidentified persons and corpses is kept... but since this all went down back in the 70's I doubt that any DNA would be on file even if there were for it to be... Basically, they would have to suspect a match first, then retrieve DNA through exhumation of remains / request to a living individual, then perform a match test.

There's a lot more to it than most people realize. But then, there may be a lot more to this particular case too....

 

[BadGirl]

Doesn't really work that way. The DNA database for specific individuals that can be publicly tapped is a very very very small (caonsidering the population) pool. There is no all inclusive public DNA database any more than there is a public fingerprint database... That said, there are LEO databases where the DNA of more recent unidentified persons and corpses is kept... but since this all went down back in the 70's I doubt that any DNA would be on file even if there were for it to be... Basically, they would have to suspect a match first, then retrieve DNA through exhumation of remains / request to a living individual, then perform a match test.

There's a lot more to it than most people realize. But then, there may be a lot more to this particular case too....

Just goes to show how much I know, which - apparently - ain't much.

 

[glhs837]

Might be worth calling these folks here.....

DNA.gov: Educational Material for Families

Maybe a good challenge like this might take their minds off their troubles

Cant hurt.