Baltimore, MD: often called Charm City by the inhabitants, and nobody else, anywhere. Also called the City that Reads - by nobody.
They have good Polish Sausage. They have exquisite crabs. National Bohemian beer (Natty-bo) is cheap and plentiful, and compliments crabs and OldBay surprisingly well. They are the home of The Ravens and The Orioles. Near as I can tell - these are the only positive things to be said about this city.
It is a place where the English language is butchered to the point of being Omost awnrecudnizabool hon.
The suburbs and Baltimore County aren't too bad - there are some gems like Parkville and Towson, but if you want to live in the city - anywhere in the city - my suggestion is to think again. The schools are butt-trifling, the neighborhoods are clotted with garbage - and the tenements it lives in - and there is a good chance that you will be (legitimately) raped or robbed on a monthly basis. Downtown is nice, like the Inner Harbor and the Aquarium, but there's not much in the way of residences down there.
That said... I still kinda like it, and consider it my home patches and dirt along with the good stuff.
Growing up in Lisbon, we had two choices and only one was a great one...head west to Frederick..or head east to Bal'mer. Of course certain "retail establishments" in and around Gay and Light were far more entertaining and numerous back in those days...late 70s or so. And of course there was Hammerjacks..and a few decent spots further west in Ellicott City that served as good pickup or drop-off points on the trip...