The Tides Restaurant - Try It!!

[Pete]

I'll tell you what I would do if I were going to open a restaurant:

It would have dark wood throughout, and comfy leather club chairs. There color scheme would be deep green and gold to compliment the wood and add to the cozy, exclusive atmosphere.

There would be a massive bar, separate from the dining room, with table seating. The wall separating the dining room from the bar would have a fireplace built in so both sides could enjoy. And this would be a real wood-burning fireplace, not some yuppie gas imposter.

The bar would welcome cigar smokers, and we'd have heavy cigar ashtrays to accommodate them.

The feel would be casual and comfortable, yet elegant. Meat and seafood would be the menu stars, but we'd also have good sandwiches and salads available for lunch or dinner. And by "good" sandwiches and salads, I mean prime rib open-faced on homemade whole grain bread, Salade Nicoise with smoked trout - that sort of thing.

There would not be a Buffalo wing or cheese stick on my menu. Appetizer-noshing would be encouraged with selections such as these fabulous lobster mashed potatoes that Wench and I had the other night, mini crabcakes, filet tips on baguette slices, tiger shrimp with garlic remoulade - lots of finger foods that aren't messy.

We would carry many different top-shelf liquors, and have at least 10 premium beers on tap. If you are a regular, we would be happy to stock your favorite brand.

Our servers would be impeccable - friendly, but not familiar. Drink filling would be a priority, because I can forgive a slow kitchen but not an empty glass.

Elaine? What else?

strippers?

 

[mAlice]

strippers?

My restaurant would have considerably more class than that. Would you settle for a little cleavage?

 

[Pete]

My restaurant would have considerably more class than that. Would you settle for a little cleavage?

A "little" cleavage?

 

[vraiblonde]

but you're on the right track.

Fresh rolls on the table, with a little crock of butter instead of those tacky wrapped pats.

 

[mAlice]

A "little" cleavage?

Okay. Just cleavage. I think women who work in bars and adult oriented restaurants should be allowed to work the tips. JMO.

 

[vraiblonde]

Okay. Just cleavage. I think women who work in bars and adult oriented restaurants should be allowed to work the tips. JMO.

I agree.

And no kids menu. If your kid can't polish off a filet with Stout pan drippings and grilled asparagus, don't bring 'em. In fact, don't bring 'em even if they CAN.

 

[mAlice]

I agree.

And no kids menu. If your kid can't polish off a filet with Stout pan drippings and grilled asparagus, don't bring 'em. In fact, don't bring 'em even if they CAN.

My establishment would not allow entry to anyone under 21 under any circumstances.

 

[Pete]

Okay. Just cleavage. I think women who work in bars and adult oriented restaurants should be allowed to work the tips. JMO.

OK, but only attractive chics, no fem men. Nothing creeps me out more when I am gnawing on a steak than some fem dude hovering over me with a smarmy fem voice. "Ith everything okayyyyy?"

Oh and they have to introduce themselves as "Your Servant" not "server"

 

[vraiblonde]

My establishment would not allow entry to anyone under 21 under any circumstances.

I'd make it 13. That's typically past the age of stupid restaurant behavior. But only in the dining room. The bar would be 21, period.

 

[mAlice]

OK, but only attractive chics, no fem men. Nothing creeps me out more when I am gnawing on a steak than some fem dude hovering over me with a smarmy fem voice. "Ith everything okayyyyy?"

Oh and they have to introduce themselves as "Your Servant" not "server"

You'd have to get over that. Gay men are some of the best servers. You would have to request a server before you were seated, but since it would be my place, I'd already know where to seat you.

 

[mAlice]

I'd make it 13. That's typically past the age of stupid restaurant behavior.

Obviously, we won't be opening a restaurant together, pardner.

 

[vraiblonde]

You'd have to get over that. Gay men are some of the best servers.

Beat me to it.

 

[mAlice]

Beat me to it.

Speaking of gay servers...as we were leaving Applebee's today I got the nicest compliment....he loves my boots!

 

[Otter]

Keno?

 

[Agee]

Our servers would be impeccable - friendly, but not familiar. Drink filling would be a priority, because I can forgive a slow kitchen but not an empty glass.

"Impeccable servers" Probably one of the toughest aspects of a eatery... keeping food/wine savy staff with consistent, and productive server skills.

Training, training, training !!!

Wait-staff need to know the food they're serving, and how it's prepared.

 

[mAlice]

Keno?

 

[vraiblonde]

Obviously, we won't be opening a restaurant together, pardner.

I was going to say, "But you're precluding Prom nights and such" but then it occurred to me that nobody wants a bunch of teenagers invading and acting like buttheads in a place like this. They can go to Outback.

 

[mAlice]

"Impeccable servers" Probably one of the toughest aspects of a eatery... keeping food/wine savy staff with consistent, and productive server skills.

Training, training, training !!!

Wait-staff need to know the food they're serving, and how it's prepared.

Absolutely.

 

[mAlice]

I was going to say, "But you're precluding Prom nights and such" but then it occurred to me that nobody wants a bunch of teenagers invading and acting like buttheads in a place like this. They can go to Outback.

Not to mention, they can't drink. :$$$:

 

[vraiblonde]

Training, training, training !!!

Wait-staff need to know the food they're serving, and how it's prepared.

Exactly. My hamburger-eating daughter is a waitress in an upscale restaurant and they put her through extensive training before they let her hit the floor, and even then it was a week before she could take tables as a solo act.

How you treat your staff goes a long way toward what type of employees you'll attract. If they're treated like professionals instead of McDonald's cashiers, they'll make you rich.