14 mo old starting to hit

[vraiblonde]

First, I hope the store manager witnessed the event and told the guy that they don't hire inconsiderate people in their store.

At Hot Topic, the "manager" is likely to be some 20 year old anti-social goth punk who'd encourage the guy to kick her ass.

 

[Big Fatty]

Thanks to all for the advice. I'll take it to heart.

Big Fatty, previously Total Elite until I posted a bad pic (sorry!)

 

[Tinkerbell]

Biting is typically a toddler thing; not something they do in school, unless they have some sort of other behavioral disorder. But like I said, that's the whole point of biting them back -- they STOP doing it ... because the warm fuzzy, goochie-goo shiat doesn't always work.

I think what you did was fine. It's exactly what my day care provider did when her son (2 1/2 at the time) would not stop biting other kids in her daycare. She bit him back, he said "Ow mommy - that hurt!" and she said, "Yes, it does! Stop biting people!!!" He NEVER did it again.

And before some of you get all up in arms about a day care provider doing this -- it was HER son and she would NEVER discipline other children that way. She is AWESOME with the kids and they love her to death. Of course, I gave her permission to duct tape my kids in the closet if necessary

 

[Geek]

Obviously children whose parents didn't bite them back. :shrug:

So daycare providers that have this age group should bite the kids?

 

[Geek]

The expectation is that by the time the child is old enough to attend school, they have some ability to reason and know the basics of right vs wrong. When my son was at that age and slapped me, I popped his little hands right back, and he quit. He's five now, and hasn't hit anyone since. :shrug:

But when we become adults, we don't have the ability to know the basics that not biting children is wrong?

 

[Ehesef]

So daycare providers that have this age group should bite the kids?

No, because it's not the daycare provider's job to raise the kid. Put the kid in time out or whatever and let mom know about it.

 

[MMDad]

So daycare providers that have this age group should bite the kids?

Take this one to heart:

You're overreacting and being a kook.

 

[vraiblonde]

Big Fatty, previously Total Elite until I posted a bad pic (sorry!)

You only got a day - you should be back on board by now.

But no more icky pics like that

 

[itsbob]

There are 3 year olds that still bite when they enter preschool. But I see what you are saying.

I wonder how many time outs.. and "It hurts mommy" talks they got before they were three.

A little butt smack would put an end to it.. and just the THREAT of a butt whoopin will help most kids behave. Out of four grown kids, I think three of them NEVER got spanked.. one was a regular.. the other three just knowing it was a possibility never got out of line.

Time outs, conversing.. being nicey nice. That gives us the gang rats we have now running around in our neighborhoods.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

At Hot Topic, the "manager" is likely to be some 20 year old anti-social goth punk who'd encourage the guy to kick her ass.

I'ma kick the monsters ass before he kicks my ass.

 

[Nickel]

But when we become adults, we don't have the ability to know the basics that not biting children is wrong?

Let me share something with you, that my mother shared with me after taking many child development courses. Children that young are still under the assumption that the world revolves around them. They hit or bite you, and you say "Ow, that hurts!". What do they care? How many rounds of "Ow, that hurts!" are you going to have to go through before the child understands that it hurts? If they slap you, and you pop their little hand once (it doesn't even really have to hurt), they get the idea that it's not fun and probably don't do it again.

You can't force other people to abide by your parenting "rules". No two kids are the same, and there is no set rule on how to raise a child. I popped my kid's hand when he hit me, and he never hit me again. I don't spank him. :shrug: Like so many have said before me, you don't have proof positive (i.e. a well-adjusted adult child) to prove that your parenting style is the best, or even that it works. We all do what we feel is right, and hopefully that gives us good results. My mom popped my little hand when I was little, and I turned out just fine. My aunt coddled her kids, and they turned into a gang member, drug addict, and unwed teenage mother who refuses to get a job, respectively.

 

[itsbob]

No, because it's not the daycare provider's job to raise the kid. Put the kid in time out or whatever and let mom know about it.

I remeber my dad at this point, would take me home and talk to me...

I remember his nicey nice words..


Things like.. "You shouldn't bite other people.. or hurt other people.."


"Now, run down the hall and get me the belt.."

and my favorite.. "This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you!"

THAN I'd get the timout.. "Quit your crying, I didn't hit you THAT hard, now go to your room until supper!"

I remember a lot of times when I had the opportunity to be bad, or do something wrong.. I'd have to weigh the severity of the ass whoopin I was going to get, to the deed I was going to do.. I can tell you without question, a pack of gum shoplifted from a small store is NEVER worth the asswhoopin my dad would give.. I'm guessing it would be more than worth the harsh talk and the "nice people don't do those kinds of things" speech.

I still carry these lessons with me today, 40 years later, and I'm thankful that my dad did what he had to do to make sure I grew up to be a positive part of society, and a generally good person.

 

[Ehesef]

I remeber my dad at this point, would take me home and talk to me...

I remember his nicey nice words..


Things like.. "You shouldn't bite other people.. or hurt other people.."


"Now, run down the hall and get me the belt.."

and my favorite.. "This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you!"

THAN I'd get the timout.. "Quit your crying, I didn't hit you THAT hard, now go to your room until supper!"

I remember a lot of times when I had the opportunity to be bad, or do something wrong.. I'd have to weigh the severity of the ass whoopin I was going to get, to the deed I was going to do.. I can tell you without question, a pack of gum shoplifted from a small store is NEVER worth the asswhoopin my dad would give.. I'm guessing it would be more than worth the harsh talk and the "nice people don't do those kinds of things" speech.

I still carry these lessons with me today, 40 years later, and I'm thankful that my dad did what he had to do to make sure I grew up to be a positive part of society, and a generally good person.

My dad whooped me good a few times in my life, maybe 4 total. I deserved it each and everytime. But that's all it took. The threat was established and I respected it.

 

[Dymphna]

A toddler, who is begining to understand language, but can't actually talk, hits because he gets frustrated. In his mind, he TOLD you something, but you failed to understand.

It helps to acknowledge what he "said" even if you have to deny him.

("Yes, I know you want that toy, but little Johnny is playing with that now.")

Of course, that assumes you were paying attention and understood what he was "saying." Which admittedly is not an easy task.

 

[Cowgirl]

A toddler, who is begining to understand language, but can't actually talk, hits because he gets frustrated. In his mind, he TOLD you something, but you failed to understand.

It helps to acknowledge what he "said" even if you have to deny him.

("Yes, I know you want that toy, but little Johnny is playing with that now.")

Of course, that assumes you were paying attention and understood what he was "saying." Which admittedly is not an easy task.

It really helps to mirror their feelings. Even if they are upset about something you think is stupid or insignificant, it is important to THEM....so just acknowledging WHY they are upset can really help to disarm them. Alot of times, once they know you heard them, they are ok with being told "no."

 

[Nickel]

It really helps to mirror their feelings. Even if they are upset about something you think is stupid or insignificant, it is important to THEM....so just acknowledging WHY they are upset can really help to disarm them. Alot of times, once they know you heard them, they are ok with being told "no."

And sometimes they just walk across the room and slap you for no apparent reason.

 

[Cowgirl]

And sometimes they just walk across the room and slap you for no apparent reason.

I was just commenting on Dymphna's post...not really about the slapping thing. :shrug:

 

[itsbob]

Hope you feel-gooders have an agressive mutual fund set up for future bail money costs..

 

[Big Fatty]

You only got a day - you should be back on board by now.

But no more icky pics like that

No worries. I would keep an eye on MightyMouse though!

 

[Cowgirl]

Hope you feel-gooders have an agressive mutual fund set up for future bail money costs..

Ah yes, the voice of reason.