14 mo old starting to hit

[itsbob]

Well, my parents raised 3....and I have just about the same child-rearing philosophy they have.

Didn't you admit that your parents spanked??

Maybe not more than 5 times, but they did, and the possibility was always there that bad behavior could end in a spanking, and according to you they did a great job raising kids..

I said the same about my kids.. I didn't spank them regularly, but if the offense warranted it, they got their butts bruised.. and from then on, any time they wanted to misbehave the thought was in the back of their heads.. How bad a whoopin am I going to get for this? They weren't thinking.. She's my BFF, we'll sit down have some hot cocoa and discuss it.. AND I'll have these new earrings!!

 

[itsbob]

I don't spank because it doesn't work in our house. My little man has a very high pain tolerance, and there are other disciplinary tactics that are much more effective than spanking. I've spanked him a few times, and it did nothing to alleviate the situation. Revoking privileges and isolation are what works for us, so that's what we do. :shrug: That's not to say that I think spanking is wrong. Some kids need a good smack on the ass every once in awhile.

Maybe you should let the man in the house do the spanking.. It might be bad form, lack of follow through on your part.. You should make a video next time so we can critique your form.

 

[Cowgirl]

Didn't you admit that your parents spanked??

Maybe not more than 5 times, but they did, and the possibility was always there that bad behavior could end in a spanking, and according to you they did a great job raising kids..

I said the same about my kids.. I didn't spank them regularly, but if the offense warranted it, they got their butts bruised.. and from then on, any time they wanted to misbehave the thought was in the back of their heads.. How bad a whoopin am I going to get for this? They weren't thinking.. She's my BFF, we'll sit down have some hot cocoa and discuss it.. AND I'll have these new earrings!!

Bob, please go back and re-read my posts. Yes, my parents spanked my sister and I a few (and I stress few) times. My brother never got spanked. We are all good kids. I just don't like the attitude of "if you don't spank your kids they're going to end up in jail."

I never said it's good to be your child's BFF and not be a parent. This whole thing is just rediculous.

 

[vraiblonde]

It really helps to mirror their feelings.

Even if they are upset about something you think is stupid or insignificant, it is important to THEM....so just acknowledging WHY they are upset can really help to disarm them.

I have never found that to be true with my own kids or anyone else's. It has been my observation that when little Oswald is melting down because he would like his blue boots to be red boots, acknowledging his problem isn't what he's after - he literally wants you to change the color of the boots RIGHT NOW and will not accept your piddly excuses as to why that's not possible.

 

[Cowgirl]

I have never found that to be true with my own kids or anyone else's. It has been my observation that when little Oswald is melting down because he would like his blue boots to be red boots, acknowledging his problem isn't what he's after - he literally wants you to change the color of the boots RIGHT NOW and will not accept your piddly excuses as to why that's not possible.

C'mon Vrai....it is true even with adults. If you were mad at Larry for some reason, and he kept saying "that's stupid, there's no reason to be pissed," wouldn't it make you even madder? I'm not saying he has to apologize, but if he said something like, "I know you're mad at me for ______." At least then you would know he HEARD your complaint.

If a kid is throwing a tantrum because he wants to do something (like go outside and play) but it's naptime instead, it really helps to disarm the situation if you say "I know you want to go out and play, but it's naptime right now." Just repeating the fact that he wants to go out and play lets the kid know you at least heard him, but he's still not allowed to go out.

Maybe not so much when the kid is older, but in their younger years (toddler or preschool) it really helps. Just try to see where the kid is coming from...it's not so easy for them to communicate through language, so letting them know you heard them and understand what they were trying to say helps the situation.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should give in to the kid, but letting them know they were heard makes it easier on them.

 

[Nickel]

Maybe you should let the man in the house do the spanking.. It might be bad form, lack of follow through on your part.. You should make a video next time so we can critique your form.

Why? He doesn't have behavior issues, so there is no reason to spank.

 

[Fat Momma]

Didn't you admit that your parents spanked??

Maybe not more than 5 times, but they did, and the possibility was always there that bad behavior could end in a spanking, and according to you they did a great job raising kids..

I said the same about my kids.. I didn't spank them regularly, but if the offense warranted it, they got their butts bruised.. and from then on, any time they wanted to misbehave the thought was in the back of their heads.. How bad a whoopin am I going to get for this? They weren't thinking.. She's my BFF, we'll sit down have some hot cocoa and discuss it.. AND I'll have these new earrings!!

IMO you are dead on. Simple as that. Sometimes it only takes once or twice but the fear or maybe not the fear but the knowledge that something other then being sent to their room or time out is at hand.

 

[Fat Momma]

C'mon Vrai....it is true even with adults. If you were mad at Larry for some reason, and he kept saying "that's stupid, there's no reason to be pissed," wouldn't it make you even madder? I'm not saying he has to apologize, but if he said something like, "I know you're mad at me for ______." At least then you would know he HEARD your complaint.

If a kid is throwing a tantrum because he wants to do something (like go outside and play) but it's naptime instead, it really helps to disarm the situation if you say "I know you want to go out and play, but it's naptime right now." Just repeating the fact that he wants to go out and play lets the kid know you at least heard him, but he's still not allowed to go out.

Maybe not so much when the kid is older, but in their younger years (toddler or preschool) it really helps. Just try to see where the kid is coming from...it's not so easy for them to communicate through language, so letting them know you heard them and understand what they were trying to say helps the situation.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should give in to the kid, but letting them know they were heard makes it easier on them.

Are you crazy? If that works you good on ya...for as long as it will work...but in real life that does not work. Period.

 

[Cowgirl]

Are you crazy? If that works you good on ya...for as long as it will work...but in real life that does not work. Period.

Works great for us!

 

[itsbob]

Why? He doesn't have behavior issues, so there is no reason to spank.

Then why did you try to spank him in the first place??

 

[Fat Momma]

Works great for us!

Like I said if it works for you, God Bless ya.....

 

[Nickel]

Than why did you try to spank him in the first place??

Three or four years ago, I couldn't tell ya. Today he's a well-behaved five year old who can be put in his place with a sharp look from his momma. When that changes, I'll reevaluate my tactics, but I'm not going to just spank him because I can when he hasn't done anything to warrant it. I'm not the one asking for parenting advice, direct your efforts to the thread starter.

 

[pixiegirl]

Mine bit me 3 ... maybe four times. The first couple times, I tried that warm-fuzzy "goochiegoo nononono you da cutest baby on earth don't do that meanie weanie stuff to mommy" and it didn't help. Then I got smart, leveled the playing field and bit her back. That was that.

You have adults who can't comprehend other peoples "feelings" unless it happens to them ... what makes you think a 14 month old can? :shrug:

I felt bad for baby G. He gave love bites. Never hard enough to make a mark but enough to get your attention. He never did it in a mean way but would snuggle all up on you then WHAM! I was standing in the kitchen one day and the little crapper ran up to me from behind, wrapped his arms around my legs andn bit me in the ass. My knee jerk reaction... I smacked the crapola out of him. I felt terrible. I didn't intend to hit him but when something gets you in the butt you get it the hell off. The love bites ceased to exist after that.

 

[K_Jo]

when something gets you in the butt you get it the hell off.

:immaturegiggle:

 

[itsbob]

:immaturegiggle:

I figured you would have fixed that to say out, not off..