14 mo old starting to hit

[Nickel]

Ah yes, the voice of reason.

:giggle:

 

[Ehesef]

How come every time I come into this thread there is a banner of two people making out with the word "chemistry" on it?

 

[itsbob]

Ah yes, the voice of reason.

How many children have you raised to adult hood, that don't do drugs, never been arrested, have not even got a traffic ticket, and love and respect their parents??


When you catch up, I may listen to some advice you may have about raising kids.

 

[Cowgirl]

How many children have you raised to adult hood, that don't do drugs, never been arrested, have not even got a traffic ticket, and love and respect their parents??


When you catch up, I may listen to some advice you may have about raising kids.

Well, my parents raised 3....and I have just about the same child-rearing philosophy they have.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

 

[Fat Momma]

My question is this- when you child bites a kid back at school to let them know how it feels like you did and your child gets in trouble for this, are you going to be mad at the teacher? How do you explain this to the child?

I appreciate that you do what works for you and that is fine. I'm just curious how you would handle this. I just think it is setting a bad precedent.

I disagree with you. If someone bites my child and he returned he favor and HE is the one that gets into trouble I would be having a talk with his teacher.

Two wrongs do not make a right.....blah blah blah...I teach my children to stand up for themselves. Too many people are bullied and walked on because we are teaching our kids to turn the other cheek. I am not telling little johnny to go out looking for trouble, but he will know to what degree to protect himself.

 

[Fat Momma]

i think time out is a good start. when we had a problem with piglet hitting we did the time out think but during time out we held the offending arm so that she couldn't use it for anything, much less hitting. she also lost some play time with Mommy every time she hit me.

See that is the problem everytime she hit you.....

I tell you this, my child hit me once. Only once. She got the message quick that it is not ok to hit, and that the consquences match the deed.

 

[Fat Momma]

My parents hardly ever spanked my sister and I (probably not even 5 spanks each), and they never spanked my brother. We were all very well-behaved children. We respected our parents without them having to use force. :shrug:

I don't think parents need to spank in order to discipline their children, they just have to stay on top of things and not wait until their kid is 5 years old and then think, "What happened? Little Johnny was always so good, I always gave him what he wanted. "


ETA: I just wanted to add that I don't think a spank as a last resort is horrible, I'm just saying they don't need spankings all the time, or as their primary punishment. JMO.

You make it sound that I said it was okay to smack your child excessivley. I did not. You must have misread my post.

I am glad you grew up fine. That is not the case now a days. Too many children running around with out any discipline, without repect.

Everyone I grew up with had the bottoms smacked when they got out of hand. It did not take many more after that to keep us straight and every single one of us grew up fine as well. Most of them do the same to thier children and they are growing up fine too. You see these children out in public and they are behaving.

I want to make myself clear, spanking is not the only answer. Each episode deems its own punishment but not to be afriad to use it when it is called for.

 

[Fat Momma]

First, I hope the store manager witnessed the event and told the guy that they don't hire inconsiderate people in their store.

Second, I think the kids took over when a group of child psychologists decided it was wrong to punish your kids with the occasional 'SPANKING'. I know that it never hurt me when I was growing up and I learned the meaning of respect. My parents both spanked me when they felt I needed it and they also told my teachers to use the paddle if they thought it was necessary. It never was though because we usually got that punishment when we got home with the teacher's note.

exactly my point. They manager was no older than 22 or 23 and she just stood there horrified.

 

[Fat Momma]

Agreed. "They" say you can't stop violence with violence but thousands of years of parenting can't be wrong. Smack their hand or butt - they'll get the message.

Yup. Simple as that. And to the one who posted earlier that a 3 year old still bites in preschool, there is something wrong with that picture.

No one should be biting. So I agree, if they got bite back they would not be doing it much longer.

 

[Fat Momma]

A toddler, who is begining to understand language, but can't actually talk, hits because he gets frustrated. In his mind, he TOLD you something, but you failed to understand.

It helps to acknowledge what he "said" even if you have to deny him.

("Yes, I know you want that toy, but little Johnny is playing with that now.")

Of course, that assumes you were paying attention and understood what he was "saying." Which admittedly is not an easy task.

No, no and no.

Oh and an effing No.

 

[mommarock]

You make it sound that I said it was okay to smack your child excessivley. I did not. You must have misread my post.

I am glad you grew up fine. That is not the case now a days. Too many children running around with out any discipline, without repect.

Everyone I grew up with had the bottoms smacked when they got out of hand. It did not take many more after that to keep us straight and every single one of us grew up fine as well. Most of them do the same to thier children and they are growing up fine too. You see these children out in public and they are behaving.

I want to make myself clear, spanking is not the only answer. Each episode deems its own punishment but not to be afriad to use it when it is called for.

Fat Momma - Did you grown up in my household? We must be sisters! I agree with you 110%. All kids need to learn respect for others and themselves and take responsibility for their actions. It is our job as parents to see that that happens even though it is very, very hard sometimes. There are times when I want to throw my hands up and say...I give up....but after a cigarette or two I calm down lol... There are alot more temptations these days for children and the fact that they all feel "entitled" because so and so has this...blah blah blah... Well I am not so and so's parent. You can hate me now but you will thank me later...ffofsoapbox:

 

[mommarock]

Agreed. "They" say you can't stop violence with violence but thousands of years of parenting can't be wrong. Smack their hand or butt - they'll get the message.

AMEN!!

 

[Cowgirl]

Fat Momma - Did you grown up in my household? We must be sisters! I agree with you 110%. All kids need to learn respect for others and themselves and take responsibility for their actions. It is our job as parents to see that that happens even though it is very, very hard sometimes. There are times when I want to throw my hands up and say...I give up....but after a cigarette or two I calm down lol... There are alot more temptations these days for children and the fact that they all feel "entitled" because so and so has this...blah blah blah... Well I am not so and so's parent. You can hate me now but you will thank me later...ffofsoapbox:

I just don't see how this all depends on spanking. I said before, I am not trying to say people should NEVER spank their child, but I don't think it should be a crutch. I think it should be a last resort. I know plenty of shiatty parents who raise shiatty kids....and they spank.

You're either a good parent or you're not. Spanking does not make you a good parent, and it does not mean your kids will grow up to be respectful of others. There is more to good parenting than spanking. Just because a child does not get spanked, it does not automatically mean they're going to be a bad person, or end up in jail.

 

[Fat Momma]

Fat Momma - Did you grown up in my household? We must be sisters! I agree with you 110%. All kids need to learn respect for others and themselves and take responsibility for their actions. It is our job as parents to see that that happens even though it is very, very hard sometimes. There are times when I want to throw my hands up and say...I give up....but after a cigarette or two I calm down lol... There are alot more temptations these days for children and the fact that they all feel "entitled" because so and so has this...blah blah blah... Well I am not so and so's parent. You can hate me now but you will thank me later...ffofsoapbox:

I think maybe we were raised with the same generation. I know that all the kids I grew up with (yes we still keep in touch) are doing very well. They stayed out of trouble, respected others and for the most part are doing the same with their children with the same outcome.

 

[Fat Momma]

I just don't see how this all depends on spanking. I said before, I am not trying to say people should NEVER spank their child, but I don't think it should be a crutch. I think it should be a last resort. I know plenty of shiatty parents who raise shiatty kids....and they spank.

You're either a good parent or you're not. Spanking does not make you a good parent, and it does not mean your kids will grow up to be respectful of others. There is more to good parenting than spanking. Just because a child does not get spanked, it does not automatically mean they're going to be a bad person, or end up in jail.

You are missing the point. It is not all about spanking. But I will tell you this, you can do whatever you want with your children. How you raise your child is your business. However if you care to stop and listen to others you might learn a thing or two. And again no one in here is saying spanking alone is the only form of punishment, you need to review the posts again.

AS far as the shaity parents raising shait kids who you said spank the child. There are without a doubt a lot more going on in their homes than just that.
You are going way overboard and not really reading the posts.

Honey I think everyone on here knows and understands there is more is to parenting. We have all walked the walk and can back up our talk.

Good luck with yours and I hope all works out for you.

 

[Cowgirl]

You are missing the point. It is not all about spanking. But I will tell you this, you can do whatever you want with your children. How you raise your child is your business. However if you care to stop and listen to others you might learn a thing or two. And again no one in here is saying spanking alone is the only form of punishment, you need to review the posts again.

AS far as the shaity parents raising shait kids who you said spank the child. There are without a doubt a lot more going on in their homes than just that.
You are going way overboard and not really reading the posts.

Honey I think everyone on here knows and understands there is more is to parenting. We have all walked the walk and can back up our talk.

Good luck with yours and I hope all works out for you.

I'm am only saying that if you decide not to spank your kids, it doesn't automatically mean the kid is going to end up a trouble-maker and in jail.

Buh-bye.

 

[Fat Momma]

I'm am only saying that if you decide not to spank your kids, it doesn't automatically mean the kid is going to end up a trouble-maker and in jail.

Buh-bye.

I have no clue why you thought that is what anyone on here was posting but again I have to say you misread the posts.


I will say that I think time outs, nicey nice words, and I wanna be your BFF are not going to work. Too many people frown on spanking without knowing the whole story. Simple as that.


There is a difference between abusive hitting and non-abusive spanking. When spanking is applied and pain is felt immediately, the connection is made between the deed and the consequence. The connection is made: offense = negative consequence, I refuse to believe that today's psychologists are the know all and end all of understanding human behavior.

 

[Nickel]

There is a difference between abusive hitting and non-abusive spanking. When spanking is applied and pain is felt immediately, the connection is made between the deed and the consequence. The connection is made: offense = negative consequence, I refuse to believe that today's psychologists are the know all and end all of understanding human behavior.

I don't spank because it doesn't work in our house. My little man has a very high pain tolerance, and there are other disciplinary tactics that are much more effective than spanking. I've spanked him a few times, and it did nothing to alleviate the situation. Revoking privileges and isolation are what works for us, so that's what we do. :shrug: That's not to say that I think spanking is wrong. Some kids need a good smack on the ass every once in awhile.

 

[Fat Momma]

I don't spank because it doesn't work in our house. My little man has a very high pain tolerance, and there are other disciplinary tactics that are much more effective than spanking. I've spanked him a few times, and it did nothing to alleviate the situation. Revoking privileges and isolation are what works for us, so that's what we do. :shrug: That's not to say that I think spanking is wrong. Some kids need a good smack on the ass every once in awhile.