________ Wife.

[bulldog]

It varies from duty station to duty station and from military branch to military branch. However, it's been my experience that there are 2 sets of senior wives. There are the ones who are officers wives, and usually the "commanding" rank will be the wife of a Col. who organizes and structures the other officers wives under her "command". Not every wife will be part of this. She'll pick and choose. The lowest ranking officer's wife in her "command" is then the POC with the officers wives for the lady in charge of the second group of senior wives for the NCO's. That is usually run in much more hands on manner, with newsletters, websites and phone trees. On average that is run by a Top Sergeant's wife (or First Sergeant's wife). Her recruiting methods for assistance will be a bit different than the officers wives who are sort of mandated by their spouses to keep up appearances. A senior NCO's wife will usually ask for volunteers with various activites (family days, newsletters, et al) and then she is completely dependent on them pulling their weight for the jobs they volunteered for.

Now, unlike IcIt's experience, every military base I've been to, has had some sort of wives program to some level or another. Also unlike Icit, I know the USMC has something called the "Key Wives" program that runs really well. The Army has "Officers Wives Club" and "Family Readiness Groups". The Air Force has ESC and Key Wives. The Navy has Key Wives as well with Ombudsmen.

If anybody is a wife of a military man and interested in getting involved in program that helps with your own military community, I suggest you contact your Forward Readiness Officer (FRO). If you don't know who that is, your spouse should.

Thanks for your reply. Navy is largely the same. We call them different things, but I was never aware of any wife (except the Ombudsman) going through any type of training. I asked about "senior" just to get a flavor for what others view it as. In the Navy, it's pretty easy for the enlisted ranks as "senior enlisted is E-7/8/9. In the officer ranks, the water muddies a bit and it changes with who you ask. Some will say that "senior" officer is 04 and above, some/most say 05 and above.

 

[Nickel]

When I read this thread title my brain automatically fills the blank with "Trophy". Anybody else?

 

[migtig]

Thanks for your reply. Navy is largely the same. We call them different things, but I was never aware of any wife (except the Ombudsman) going through any type of training. I asked about "senior" just to get a flavor for what others view it as. In the Navy, it's pretty easy for the enlisted ranks as "senior enlisted is E-7/8/9. In the officer ranks, the water muddies a bit and it changes with who you ask. Some will say that "senior" officer is 04 and above, some/most say 05 and above.

Again - variation from duty station to duty station.

The Navy's Ombudsman training is open to spouses of all Navy officers, chaplains, CMCs, COBs and Key Leadership spouses. FFSC will have more info available. I know Oceana offers regular courses, but I'm not sure what may be closer.

 

[SoMD_Fun_Guy]

Ok, just to stir the pot in this discussion some more:

With all the Navy Wife, Army Wife, Trophy Wife, Soccer Mom, etc so-called titles -
How come you never see a "_______Husband" or "______Dad" bumper sticker?

 

[twinoaks207]

Eh, I'm youngish (young adjacent? ) and see no need to assert my independence. I know who I am and I'm happy. Doesn't matter if xyz on the internet knows I have an identity or not.

One does not necessarily have to have age to have maturity...sounds like you've got a very healthy mature outlook as well as wonderful self-esteem. Kudos!

 

[twinoaks207]

Ok, just to stir the pot in this discussion some more:

With all the Navy Wife, Army Wife, Trophy Wife, Soccer Mom, etc so-called titles -
How come you never see a "_______Husband" or "______Dad" bumper sticker?

Excellent question! Why don't you?

 

[CRoyal]

That's also how I see the "military wife" stuff. Have tons of respect for those ladies (and the men whose wives are military). If my husband was gone for half a year, year at a time while I was left home to raise Sprout all by myself I'd probably go bonkers. Especially now when odds are he would be in a combat zone.

I, personally, absolutely despise being referred to only as my husband's wife. The letters that come addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Husband's Full Name make me twitch. I get that it used to be respectful, I don't find it to be so now. I am my own person, I do exist outside of the context of my husband. I love my husband, I'm proud to be married to him... but we are a team.

I agree, I respect their role as spouses of someone in the military but maintain there are women out there who identify solely as such.

I am with you 100000% -TEAM-

Depending on the situation, I like it when someone introduces and identifies themselves - "Hi, I'm Joanna, Bob's wife." Now I can put Joanna with Bob and get a conversational grip..

there is a difference between introducing yourself in a situation where your spouse is known and you are not, ie at SO's work party I would be introduced as LT, his SO. Thats just identification for people to connect you with someone they already know...and simply identifying yourself and your very identity with your so's job.

Yes, conversationally and in some social situations it makes sense to identify yourself as so-and-so’s wife.

Replace "military spouse" with "boxer lover" or "soccer mom". They're just words. Why does it matter that this hypothetical person chooses to identify themselves this way? You want to assert your independence outside of your relationship. I'm with you 100%. Not everyone is like that and it's no skin off my back. I will say that in my experience, the "OMG Navy wife/girlfriend" girls are usually very young or very early on in their relationships. The women I know who are married to the military do not identify themselves as such. I live in base housing and I don't believe I've seen one Navy wife bumper sticker. I see a lot of honor roll ones, though!

And speaking of FB, I have a friend who constantly posts photos of pit bulls in shelters. I'm talking at least 20 a day. That is ANNOYING, and if I didn't know her IRL I would think she was some crazy lady (if she keeps it up I will think she's crazy). But I'm not going to judge her entire self based on some FB posts or bumper stickers.

That’s a good perspective, and it’s likely I am seeing those girls who are young and new to the relationship… new and proud? Or young and lost looking for a way to find themselves? Maybe both.

No skin off of mine either, but I like to see women who identify with what THEY have done or are doing with their own lives. I’d like to see some more of them sign up.

People are naturally judging creatures. Proudly displaying stickers allows you to be open to immediate judgment, and that’s okay.

I don’t think comparing sports or animal lovers is a correct comparison. Being engrossed in hobbies or pets IS part of your identity. Referring to yourself as wife to your spouse’s job is piggy backing on his identity, not paving your own.

Some women choose the job of wife as their career. They see it as their job to maintain the house, raise the kids, and support their husband so that he can be successful outside the house.

If that's what they want to do, why not? Why does that make them any less of a person? Being a homemaker is a demanding job, and it seems you under-appreciate it.

I didn’t refer to homemakers at all. In fact, some of said military wives hold their own jobs and take care of a home.
It sounds like you equate wife with homemaker.
You missed the point.

 

[BET]

Most women should be able to identify themselves on their own merits and not be dependent on a husband to make them who they are.

I feel sorry for any woman who has nothing more going for them than a wedding band.

 

[BET]

These are wimmins who know their place. Good for them. I still can't believe wimmins can vote and drive. WTF is THAT all about.

 

[2lazy2P]

Ok, just to stir the pot in this discussion some more:

With all the Navy Wife, Army Wife, Trophy Wife, Soccer Mom, etc so-called titles -
How come you never see a "_______Husband" or "______Dad" bumper sticker?

I think I would like to give house husband a go. I don't mind waking up at 8 to ensure the kids are on the bus and fold a load or two of laundry throughout the day in the middle of The View and Ellen and then make sure meatloaf is in the oven by 5 pm before the wife gets home.

 

[ArkRescue]

I think I would like to give house husband a go. I don't mind waking up at 8 to ensure the kids are on the bus and fold a load or two of laundry throughout the day in the middle of The View and Ellen and then make sure meatloaf is in the oven by 5 pm before the wife gets home.

I would NOT want to be YOU right now ....

 

[2lazy2P]

I would NOT want to be YOU right now ....

Good thing the wife doesn't come on this thing huh

 

[ArkRescue]

Good thing the wife doesn't come on this thing huh

Well it depends on whether she would think you were describing HER?

There is a lot more to raising kids and running a household than what you stated. But then again I'm SURE you KNOW that right?

 

[2lazy2P]

Well it depends on whether she would think you were describing HER?

There is a lot more to raising kids and running a household than what you stated. But then again I'm SURE you KNOW that right?

Even though I was being facetious, for conversational purposes - what else comes with the territory of being a house wife?

 

[Dutch6]

Even though I was being facetious, for conversational purposes - what else comes with the territory of being a house wife?

Keeping the house clean? No maybe that's not it.

 

[2lazy2P]

Keeping the house clean? No maybe that's not it.

There's nobody there to make it dirty. We are at School and Work all day.

 

[Dutch6]

There's nobody there to make it dirty. We are at School and Work all day.

A house still manages to collect dust that needs to be cleaned daily.

 

[pixiegirl]

A house still manages to collect dust that needs to be cleaned daily.

Although I'd love to be a stay at home mom/wife (now that my kids are school aged that is ), it most certainly is an easier job than going to work for 8+ hours and still having to take care of kids and maintain the house.

I'll trade in my career for a "______ wife" bumper sticker if I get to stay home all day. I'd be the best house wife ever!

 

[ArkRescue]

Even though I was being facetious, for conversational purposes - what else comes with the territory of being a house wife?

House Cleaning (including daily dishes)
Grocery Shopping
After-School activities with kids (including homework)
In-School meetings/activities with kids

I'm sure there is more I've missed here.

 

[migtig]

I have no children, and work full time, but *some* activities that I do in my "free time" include:

*Meal planning for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks
*Meal prep including grocery shopping, coupon clipping, veggi chopping etc. My life would be simpler if I had my own prep cook. I also include doing dishes in that.
*Beds - daily make up beds. Weekly wash and clean all bedding. Remake bed(s).
*Floors - sweep, vaccum, mop
*Baseboards - dust and wipe down baseboards
*Doors, walls, windowsills and lightswitches - wipe down and clean off grime/dust/fingerprints
*Dusting - furniture, knicknacks and miscellaneous other items
*Bathroom(s) - remove hard water deposits from shower, sinks and toilet. Clean and disinfect.
*Laundry - stain removal treatment, sort laundry, wash and dry approprately. Put away laundry. Iron laundry if necessary.
*Windows - wash windows. Also wash curtain treatments.
*Ceiling - remove cobwebs and clean ceiling fans.
*Fridge - clean out fridge/freezer, check for expired food, clean shelves, seals, doors, handles and top.
*Cabinets - dust and wipe down. Reorganize and rotate items on shelves.
*Recycling and trash - gather - sort and haul away.
*Indoor plants - water, maintain, and feed as necessary
*Dogs - feed, water, treat, bath, clip nails, clean ears, brush teeth, wash their bedding and toys, vet trips, etc
*Outdoor - sweep porches, mow yard, weed gardens, water plants, run from snakes.
*Miscellaneous - take clothes to dry cleaners when necessary, run errands, schedule vet appointments, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, mail family/friend birthday cards, sympathy cards, congratulation cards, post office trips, pay bills, pick up household items, etc.


This doesn't even cover KIDS!!! And it doesn't cover EVERYTHING!!!

Do you realize how long it actually takes to do laundry? Do you realize how time consuming it is to properly clean a bathroom? Do you have any clue how exhausting it is to spend a whole day running errands?

I'd love a freaking housewife, and I would never ever take advantage of her and I'd buy her flowers every week and take her out to dinner regularly.

Last weekend, I cleaned house all day Friday. Got up early Saturday and ran errands all freaking day including grocery shopping. Came home and finished laundry. Then Sunday, I spent the whole day do yardwork. I didn't get everything done. I was exhausted come Monday and was happy as crap to go to work on Monday morning, only to come home and see trash and laundry and dust and thinking the yard already needs to be mowed again.

I applaude and give great kudos to every house wife and house husband out there. Because it's a daunting and overwhelming job that never ends.