Dakota
~~~~~~~
How do you come to this conclusion?
I don't get how most came to the conclusions they have in this thread.
After 9 years
- Thread starter Imthemom
- Start date
I don't get how most came to the conclusions they have in this thread.
pixiegirl
Cleopatra Jones
How do you come to this conclusion?
Because she started a whole other thread about needing a part time job and went on to complain about her husband being a POS that pays her or the children (which she called his) no attention.
As far as this thread is concerned, my two pennies as someone who has lived similar. I would not mention it to my child until I had assessed the situation myself first. Kids can not make what I would consider logical choices.
Dakota
~~~~~~~
Baja28
Obama destroyed America
Oh holy mother of gawd!! I love these boards and the kooks that enter them!
How was your lunch today?
kelb
art imitating life
Someone I know had this same situation. the dad pops in ever other year or so and whenever he does the daughter gets depressed and is sooo sad. Its terrible to watch. so after about 4 times of this happening to her the mom just said. NO WAY thats enough. Shes now 9 and has not talked to her dad in a few years and when he calls the mom just ignores it. It was terrible what this dad did to his daughter.
Funny thing is that the mom said all he had to do was be consistant. Call on a regular basis write letters ( he doesnt live in or near MD) you know.. make an effort and he never did.
I hate deadbeat dads.
flomaster
J.F. A sus ordenes!
Sucks when kids are in t he middle and I do believe a man should pony up when he has kids and do the right things but when my dad passed in 2008, I learned that my dads childhood was no picnic and that maybe he just didn't how to pony up and be the man and father he should have been all along. Hate to call the guy a deadbeat till all the facts are on the table. Not disagreeing that he might not be. Just pointing out the fact that there are three sides to every story, her side, his side, the truth.
.. make an effort and he never did.
I hate deadbeat dads.[/QUOTE]
kelb
art imitating life
Now thats the truth!!!!!!!!
BUT any man that hasnt seen his kid for 9 years to me is a deadbeat. Unless this woman has not let the dad see the kid. Doesnt sound like that though.
...and the courts do not have to make him pay... He has a kid, he knows he does, shouldnt he just send money. The courts should be used only if the parents cant do it on their own.
flomaster
J.F. A sus ordenes!
I am a firm believe that if you plant the seed then its yours for life unless you give up your rights as a parent. Not sure what the full story is in this deal. Be pretty hard to make a decision on her part if the guy just shows up asking to see his kid. Gonna take some work on them as adults to do whats right for the kid.
bulldog
New Member
Oh holy mother of gawd!! I love these boards and the kooks that enter them!
Makes for good entertainment.
kermitt
I have been..disenchanted
After 9 years with no contact what so ever and never given me a penny the so called father would like to see my son. What should I do? Is it possible he could get visitation rights?
I think he has realized he let a good thing go and is trying to reestablish (sp?) a relationship with the child in hopes af rekindling an old flame.
mgdbaa
New Member
I was told by a lawyer that in the state of Maryland, if a couple is not married when this child was concieved and born, legally the child does not have a father until paternity is established through the court. If you just went to court wanting child support and you said the president was the your childs father, well that has to be proven first before the courts would order support.
So, if this guy takes you to court, he cannot just demand to have visits with him. It has to be proven that he is the father first, then visits and child support.
That would be like a total stranger coming up to you and demanding you allow visits with your child.
Don't stress.
Find out what hes been up to.
Ask around and see if hes held a job
Has been in any kind of trouble
Ask questions. If you feel he is ok, then maybe allow it on your terms. If he starts threatening to take you to court, then say fine. Its alot of money and he will have to tell the judge why he has not had any contact with this child.
You will be fine. Don't worry.
JULZ
BFJ
mgdbaa
New Member
I was young when I had my first child who is now 21. Her father would come and go like every 3 years. I knew he would never harm her. By the time she was 10 she flat out told him on her own she didn't want to talk to him. I always let her make her own decision when it came to her father only because he was young also, and unless someone is harmful and dangerous, children will learn on their own as she did. 11 years later, she is now a mother and has regular contact with her father now. People can change. He and her both are trying to know each other now. I think its great. It wasn't back then, becuase she needed a father figure. But everything happens for a reason.
chernmax
NOT Politically Correct!!
SoMDGirl42
Well-Known Member
Really? My daughter's father and I weren't married. He was ordered to pay support without a paternity test. He signed the birth certificate. Same with my granddaughters' father. They weren't married. He signed the birth certificates. I have a court hearing on Feb 2 to establish child support for them. If the father admits at birth he is the father, no paternity test is required.
