Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
I want a say-so over a vasectomy.vraiblonde said:
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
Do you want one?FromTexas said:
Shoot, I'll give you one for free. It'll just take a second....FromTexas said:
B
Bruzilla
Guest
pixiegirl said:
Actually, I think you've settled the issue. In your circumstance, both you and the baby would have been lost, so it's a 50/50 split... a push if you will. But then you brought in the issue of your son, and how it was imperative that you live so that you could raise him. By adding that issue to the mix, you're in fact saying that you gave up one child to save another. So, what would you say to someone who has a late-term fetus aborted so that's its heart could be extracted to save the life of a son who's heart was failing? Or aborting a fetus to get stem cells to grow a new heart at some point in the future?
B
Bruzilla
Guest
Chasey_Lane said:I want a say-so over a vasectomy.
Why? Your man's sperm is not your property. You have no involvement with it's production, and you are in no way responsible or bilogically connected to it (while it's in his body at least.) If a man has a vasectomy, and you want to have kids, you always have the option of finding a new guy with intact pipes.
That's a lot different from a child who's only 50% yours.
pixiegirl
Cleopatra Jones
Bruzilla said:
You're skewing my point. I didn't give up one child to save another. I gave up one child to save myself plus my child. It's a 2 for 1 deal if you're going to use it that way.
So, what would you say to someone who has a late-term fetus aborted so that's its heart could be extracted to save the life of a son who's heart was failing? I would say hell no. A lot of that choice is based on emotion and or morals. A late term fetus is viable on it's own. If a woman's life is in danger in late pregnancy they don't usually preform abortions, they just deliver the baby prematurely.
Or aborting a fetus to get stem cells to grow a new heart at some point in the future? I'm not totally against this in the early stages of pregnancy.
Schmat-azz.Bruzilla said:Cha-ching! You win! Tell her what her prize is Johnny!
I was going to say, "No, men should have no say-so over abortion." Then I read Chasey's post in the other thread about her child support and now I say, "HELL NO, men should not have any say-so about abortion".
I change my mind about this from week to week, btw.
I guess I feel like, when our court system consistently makes men responsible for their offspring, both legally and financially, then men can have a say in the fate of their unborn child. As it stands, men can opt-out of the child situation pretty easily and there's nothing the woman can do about it, unless she wants to spend a fortune on lawyers and years trying to pin him down.
And another thing:
I've heard many men complain about the care their kids are receiving at the hands of their ex-wife, but few of them try for custody.
"She does this and this with my poor kids."
"Why don't you get custody?"
"Courts never award custody to the men. Plus I travel so much with my job...and I don't have the money for a lawyer..."
The moral of the story is simple:
Don't have sex with jerks, then you'll never have to worry about having kids with them.
Don't have sex with jerks, then you'll never have to worry about having kids with them.
K
Kizzy
Guest
Excellent moral vrai. 
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
How do you know the baby she's carrying is yours?Bruzilla said:Why? Your man's sperm is not your property. You have no involvement with it's production, and you are in no way responsible or bilogically connected to it (while it's in his body at least.) If a man has a vasectomy, and you want to have kids, you always have the option of finding a new guy with intact pipes.
That's a lot different from a child who's only 50% yours.
Pete
Repete
Actually the states all have agencies that will do this. Unfortunately many women do not persist either due to lack of knowledge or laziness in trying for support enforcement. The states have been much more aggressive in support enforcement than in the past. The states will garnish wages, suspend drivers licenses, professional licenses, and even jail men and women who do not pay support. Granted if these men want to live in a van down by the river and can earn unreported income for the rest of their lives there is little you can do.vraiblonde said:Schmat-azz.
I guess I feel like, when our court system consistently makes men responsible for their offspring, both legally and financially, then men can have a say in the fate of their unborn child. As it stands, men can opt-out of the child situation pretty easily and there's nothing the woman can do about it, unless she wants to spend a fortune on lawyers and years trying to pin him down.
Chasey, have you written letters to the Support Enforcement agency here in MD? Have you filed a contempt of court motion? If you are supposed to be getting support and you are not, you can make their lives a living hell IF you push for it. The state wont do it for you if you don't ask.
Chasey_Lane
Salt Life
Nope. It's an ego-booster knowing that I don't need his money to support my child.Pete said:
pixiegirl
Cleopatra Jones
Pete said:
I have! Once and it was worthless. Non-payment of child support is a crime. Why should "I" have to constantly take action to have the law upheld? I certainly don't have to call the police barracks to have a speed trap set up on 235 to give me a speeding ticket for breaking the law.
K
Kizzy
Guest
You are totally right Pete, which I think suspending a person's license is a bunch of crap in an attempt to enforce support, but that is besides the point, it is done.
I say that because many of the people I deal with everyday do work but don't make enough to pay everything they need to pay, so they will take that chance and drive back and forth to work. Then they end up locked up for driving while suspended or driving while revoked, and what good does that do anyone? Something is better than nothing. They cannot pay when they are in jail.
But complaining about child support when you've done nothing to collect is the same as complaining about the president of the U.S. when you didn't vote. IMO Sure it is a hassle, but you have to start somewhere.
I say that because many of the people I deal with everyday do work but don't make enough to pay everything they need to pay, so they will take that chance and drive back and forth to work. Then they end up locked up for driving while suspended or driving while revoked, and what good does that do anyone? Something is better than nothing. They cannot pay when they are in jail.
But complaining about child support when you've done nothing to collect is the same as complaining about the president of the U.S. when you didn't vote. IMO Sure it is a hassle, but you have to start somewhere.
Pete
Repete
Then I would suggest that you cannot whip out the "That bastard owes me child support money" if you do not force the issue." I make it a point 2 or 3 times a year to remind my ex wife what her arrearage is, and to give her my correct address to be sure that her checks do not get lost in the mail. I like having the leverage so I have not had her wages garnished in a couple years, but I don't let her forget that she still owes me and the clicker clicks every week.Chasey_Lane said:Nope. It's an ego-booster knowing that I don't need his money to support my child.
kwillia
n/a
Chasey, I think it's great they you are making it on your own, but I have to wonder if you aren't doing a dis-service to your daughter by not enforcing the support due her... if you are doing fine without it... then that means that is a pretty good chuck you could be tucking away for her future. I'd re-think things if I were you...Chasey_Lane said:Nope. It's an ego-booster knowing that I don't need his money to support my child.
Pete
Repete
You are correct, and the authorities cannot go after the criminals unless you report the crime. Make a form letter, change the date and mail it to the Support Enforcement agency every week. Write letters to the Governor, Department head, Attorney General and I guarentee you will get satisfaction sooner than if you go one time and complain then stop.pixiegirl said:
B
Bruzilla
Guest
Chasey_Lane said:Nope. It's an ego-booster knowing that I don't need his money to support my child.
You see... this is what drives men crazy!!!
Woman: You men are all horrible and irresponsible! My poor child is suffering because it's father isn't paying child support!
Man: Have you contacted the authorities asked them to make the father pay?
Woman: Nope. It's an ego-booster knowing that I don't need his money to support my child.
Goes well with...
Man: What do you want for your birthday?
Woman: Nothing special.
Two weeks later...
Woman: What the hell do you think you're doing giving me nothing special for my birthday you creep! I HATE YOU!
