Birth Control Options

[crabcake]

A girlfriend of mine is thinking about going on birth control. Hubby isn't a believer in birth control ... it's that whole religion-you were put on earth to procreate and bear children hoopla. She doesn't want to have any more though, and wasn't really "wanting" the 4th she's pregnant with now. She's great mom, loves her kids, yada yada ... just doesn't want to have more after this one.

She doesn't want to betray him, but at the same time, it's her body. I'm not getting in the middle, and I'm reserving judgement/advice in the situation because I'm friends with them both. Apparently, when she's on something with hormones, he can tell because of her moods and whatnot. So she's looking for something non-hormonal, no pills, and tying tubes is not an option she wants to pursue at this time. But she doesn't want him to know. The only thing I can think of is the IUD, but even that is detectable with enough "inspection" due to the strings. What are her options? :shrug:

And please, save me the "she shouldn't betray her husband" ... like I said, I'm not judging; I'm just trying to help her find options. She doesn't want to search for them on her computer because she doesn't want him to know.

TIA for any suggestions.

 

[Pandora]

You think he would buy "not tonight I have a headache" for the rest of his life?

4 kids....

 

[MMDad]

Depo Provera. Dr. gives an injection every 3 months.

 

[crabcake]

You think he would buy "not tonight I have a headache" for the rest of his life?

4 kids....

No Chit! Or, "don't have more than you can afford to pay child support for".

 

[RoseRed]

How selfish of him to not respect her wishes.

Can Depo do the job? I don't have the answer to that because I have never used it.

 

[crabcake]

Depo Provera. Dr. gives an injection every 3 months.

I forget; doesn't depo contain hormones?

Also, can you give yourself the shots nowadays or do you still have to have the doc do it? :shrug: I suggested that, but if she has to go to the doc for a shot, that's going to be hard to "hide" because she'd have to get him to watch the kids ... she can't lug 4 chitlins to the doc office every 3 months without one of them saying something about it.

 

[crabcake]

How selfish of him to not respect her wishes.

I know, and I agree. He's not there 24x7 with them all to understand how SHE feels. Nevertheless ... :bigsigh:

 

[RoseRed]

I know, and I agree. He's not there 24x7 with them all to understand how SHE feels. Nevertheless ... :bigsigh:

Maybe you should take her out for a "Day of Beauty" at the spa so he can spend time with his brood while she gets a break.

 

[Nickel]

Depo Provera. Dr. gives an injection every 3 months.

If he can detect the extra hormones when she's on birth control pills he's sho nuff gonna be able to tell she's on depo.

 

[crabcake]

Maybe you should take her out for a "Day of Beauty" at the spa so he can spend time with his brood while she gets a break.

Been there; done that. She got back and one kid had been fed, and he was on the couch with a wet washcloth on his forehead and shaking.

His trauma retention level is clearly pretty low.

 

[RoseRed]

Been there; done that. She got back and one kid had been fed, and he was on the couch with a wet washcloth on his forehead and shaking.

His trauma retention level is clearly pretty low.

I suggest you take her for the weekend then.

 

[CMC122]

I forget; doesn't depo contain hormones?

Also, can you give yourself the shots nowadays or do you still have to have the doc do it? :shrug: I suggested that, but if she has to go to the doc for a shot, that's going to be hard to "hide" because she'd have to get him to watch the kids ... she can't lug 4 chitlins to the doc office every 3 months without one of them saying something about it.

Don't do depo! Most women have major mood swings and irregular bleeding

 

[RoseRed]

Don't do depo! Most women have major mood swings and irregular bleeding

Maybe that would scare him off.

 

[CMC122]

Maybe that would scare him off.

 

[Spudtrooper]

Funny that I don't see Sockgirl anywhere in this thread!

 

[Club'nBabySeals]

Interesting factoid: In ancient Persia caravan merchants would shove rocks up into the uterus's of their female camels to prevent them from becoming pregnant. It worked just like a modern day IUD.


Short of that, there is no undetectable form of birth control that does not contain hormones. http://www.fda.gov/opacom/lowlit/brthcon.html


There is "Natural Family Planning", which involves charting temperatures and cervical mucous on a daily basis---but in order for it to work (and obviously, it's one of the least effective methods out there), she would have to convince her husband to abstain from sex with her throughout her entire fertile period each cycle.


I think it comes down to either standing up for herself and guarding her own reproductive rights whether or not it conflicts with her husbands religion; or dealing with the effects of a hormonally functioning method of contraception.

 

[Happygirl]

Don't do depo! Most women have major mood swings and irregular bleeding

Plus weight gain and migraines

 

[BuddyLee]

A girlfriend of mine is thinking about going on birth control. Hubby isn't a believer in birth control ... it's that whole religion-you were put on earth to procreate and bear children hoopla. She doesn't want to have any more though, and wasn't really "wanting" the 4th she's pregnant with now. She's great mom, loves her kids, yada yada ... just doesn't want to have more after this one.

She doesn't want to betray him, but at the same time, it's her body. I'm not getting in the middle, and I'm reserving judgement/advice in the situation because I'm friends with them both. Apparently, when she's on something with hormones, he can tell because of her moods and whatnot. So she's looking for something non-hormonal, no pills, and tying tubes is not an option she wants to pursue at this time. But she doesn't want him to know. The only thing I can think of is the IUD, but even that is detectable with enough "inspection" due to the strings. What are her options? :shrug:

And please, save me the "she shouldn't betray her husband" ... like I said, I'm not judging; I'm just trying to help her find options. She doesn't want to search for them on her computer because she doesn't want him to know.

TIA for any suggestions.

Don't have sex with the guy and see just how long his morals last.

 

[vraiblonde]

Don't have sex with the guy and see just how long his morals last.

From the mouths of babes....

Because here's the thing: back in the olden days before birth control if the woman couldn't bear anymore children or they just didn't want any more, they didn't have sex. Think Melanie Wilkes.

Or better yet, think Andrea Yates. Her goofy husband thought a woman's job was to procreate as well and look how that ended up.

Crab, your friend really needs to just say "enough". He either loves her and will agree that 4 is a pack of kids, or he's a dick and she's better off without him.

 

[Roxygirl13]

I have heard a lot of bad things about Depo...I think it would cause noticeable changes. You mentioned the IUD, I think that would be a very good option. The Mirena IUD only contains a small amount of horomones that stay localized to the uterus and it last for 5 years! You don't have to do anything once you have it. As for the string...I am pretty darn sure he will never notice it. If she doesn't tell him to go looking for it he won't just find it. It's not like a string that hangs way done...now the dr can find it when he needs to ... As with all BC there can be side effects, maybe she can discuss her situation in private with her doc and see what he suggests.