Chores

[tyky]

My 6 year old son makes his bed, keeps his room clean (including dusting and vacuuming) same with the playroom, feeds to dog and walks the dog once a day and takes out the trash and clears the table after dinner. He gets an allowance for doing this stuff and if he cleans his 2yo sisters room he gets a lil bonus

 

[toppick08]

Mom had us doing chores as soon as we could walk. Hell, by 11 or 12 I was mowing the grass and we had a lot of it to mow with a regular push mower.

I was on a tractor with a bushhog.

 

[morningbell]

Should 11 and 12 year old children be cleaning toilets, dusting and vacuuming?

If it's their "holiday" should they be allowed to play video games all day and not help out?

Opinions, please.

When is the kid available.... I have lots of laundry to fold and dishes to do. TIA.

 

[Radargod]

We just went over this AGAIN with the kids. 14-7-6 years old. They've been home for two weeks and the chores are just as important now. The messes don't get any smaller. So they get to clean the bathroom. Do the laundry and wash the dishes.

 

[cattitude]

Readers would have to know Wenchy's situation and that 1 of these children has a primary residence on the Eastern Shore for school and such and the other is back and forth between another residence, locally. People like me, huntr, bre, who have joint biological parental control or sole control cannot advise Wenchy on this situation and the only advice that matters are from the people who have actually had experience with these types of 'blended' situations, like you, like Catt... but agree that treading lightly is the only way (from an empathetic standpoint of course).

She deserves respect from all children in the household..visiting..living there..whatever. Decisions on child rearing, etc. are best left to the bio parent(s) and gradually over time all parties can work together to reach an even keel. It's hard to keep consistency with chores/kids when they're not there on an equal time basis and perceptions of unfairness will loom.

All of that said, in answer the other original question, I believe children should have some responsibilities in the home.

 

[Pandora]

She deserves respect from all children in the household..visiting..living there..whatever. Decisions on child rearing, etc. are best left to the bio parent(s) and gradually over time all parties can work together to reach an even keel. It's hard to keep consistency with chores/kids when they're not there on an equal time basis and perceptions of unfairness will loom.

All of that said, in answer the other original question, I believe children should have some responsibilities in the home.

Absolutely, she deserves respect but I wasn't thinking along the lines of respect at all when I responded, just that it is hard to keep consistency with chores when they are not always there at regular intervals. For somebody like me, it is rather easy and downright expected that they perform certain tasks in the house but that would be cramped if there wasn't regularity in their living arrangements. That is what I meant.

 

[vraiblonde]

I think, Wen, that rather than insisting on chores and making a big deal out of it, it might be more effective to enlist them instead. "Jimmy, will you please help me fold this laundry?" or "Let's all clean up the house so we can enjoy our day - Bobby, will you help me by vacuuming?"

Especially since neither kid lives full time in the house, it's not routine for them so a more helping approach would probably give you better results.

 

[onebdzee]

I think, Wen, that rather than insisting on chores and making a big deal out of it, it might be more effective to enlist them instead. "Jimmy, will you please help me fold this laundry?" or "Let's all clean up the house so we can enjoy our day - Bobby, will you help me by vacuuming?"

Especially since neither kid lives full time in the house, it's not routine for them so a more helping approach would probably give you better results.

Mine were usually doing "chores" at the age of 5 or 6....it usually started with vacuuming/cleaning their rooms/loading the dishwasher/bringing all their laundry to the washer....by age 10/11 they were cutting grass and/or leaf blowing and doing their own laundry

It teaches them responsibility and skills that they will use later in life

 

[Dye Tied]

I think, Wen, that rather than insisting on chores and making a big deal out of it, it might be more effective to enlist them instead. "Jimmy, will you please help me fold this laundry?" or "Let's all clean up the house so we can enjoy our day - Bobby, will you help me by vacuuming?"

Especially since neither kid lives full time in the house, it's not routine for them so a more helping approach would probably give you better results.

Chores teach a child how to contribute in a family atmosphere but this is trickier with a blended family...for all the already stated reasons.
Flexibility and communication are a must, so no one becomes the wicked step parent and the kids learn that working together is much easier on all than a rigid "my way or the highway" type of approach.

 

[sanchezf]

I have a blended family one bio son 12yrs, two step daugthers 11 and 7, we have no chldren togther both are from revious relationships. daugthers come every other weekend. yes all children have chores. Son has to walk dogs, feed ferrets, take out trash, wash own clothes and keep room tiddy. The girls mst keep room tiddy and are given chores throughout stay, help cook dinner, take out dogs, take out trash, sweep floors, dishes, etc. The boy has set chores because he lives here all the time, the girls still have to learn responsibility but it's not as easy to make perment chores when they don't live in the home. The kids will adjust to the different family arranagements and know what is expected in the different households...​

 

[Cowgirl]

I think, Wen, that rather than insisting on chores and making a big deal out of it, it might be more effective to enlist them instead. "Jimmy, will you please help me fold this laundry?" or "Let's all clean up the house so we can enjoy our day - Bobby, will you help me by vacuuming?"

Especially since neither kid lives full time in the house, it's not routine for them so a more helping approach would probably give you better results.

That sounds like a good plan. It would be even better if the bio-parent would ask the kids to help out so it's not put on her. I don't know the situation, so he may be doing that, but it doesn't really sound like it (hence the reason for starting the thread ).

 

[Beelzebaby666]

If I had a live-in who had custody of his kids and we shacked up, all kids get equal chores appropriate for their age. I had chores when my step sib didn't and that's

I don't let kids handle flamables or dangerous things, so I do grass and the oven. I also start all the laundry to keep my whites white and not pink.

Short kid does all the trash collection, his toys, gathers the laundry and empties the dryer.

Tall kid, does ALL dishes, vacuum and her room and the dog.

 

[RoseRed]

If I had a live-in who had custody of his kids and we shacked up, all kids get equal chores appropriate for their age. I had chores when my step sib didn't and that's

I don't let kids handle flamables or dangerous things, so I do grass and the oven. I also start all the laundry to keep my whites white and not pink.

Short kid does all the trash collection, his toys, gathers the laundry and empties the dryer.

Tall kid, does ALL dishes, vacuum and her room and the dog.

She vacuum's the dog?

 

[Pandora]

She vacuum's the dog?

I had a lab that LOVED to be vacuumed.

 

[RoseRed]

I had a lab that LOVED to be vacuumed.

I know. Some pet's enjoy it. My Jack and Alex, did not.

 

[BS Gal]

I know. Some pet's enjoy it. My Jack and Alex, did not.

Rassie doesn't mind it. Yoda doesn't need it. Wenchy gave me a Zoomba for Xmas huggy. Yoda is terrified of it and Rassie just watches it or goes upstairs. I also gave Tom and the boy remote controlled cars for Xmas (their fun gift cause guys are all children at heart). Rassie ignores them, Yoda chases them and picks them up in his mouth when he can do it. These dogs entertain me to no end.

 

[RoseRed]

Rassie doesn't mind it. Yoda doesn't need it. Wenchy gave me a Zoomba for Xmas huggy. Yoda is terrified of it and Rassie just watches it or goes upstairs. I also gave Tom and the boy remote controlled cars for Xmas (their fun gift cause guys are all children at heart). Rassie ignores them, Yoda chases them and picks them up in his mouth when he can do it. These dogs entertain me to no end.

Alex has been gone for five years now, Jack, 6 months. Jack didn't play with anything for a long time. Just too old.

 

[BS Gal]

Alex has been gone for five years now, Jack, 6 months. Jack didn't play with anything for a long time. Just too old.

You need a new kitty.

 

[Beelzebaby666]

She vacuum's the dog?

If he's dusty, why not?:shrug:

I've vacuum'd sand from my son's head before

 

[tygrace]

My 14 yr old stepson lives w/us every weekend and during the summer. His father doesn't believe he should be assigned chores. My husband and I have 2 kids together, 5 and soon to be 2. The rules are completely different for the s/s, which sucks. When my son says something to the fact about why his older brother doesn't have to listen to my rules, my reply is "i'm not the boss of Eric". I always tell my son & daughter that I/Daddy are the boss of them. Both for safety and listening reasons. It's very hard to have a blended family when the bio won't let the step parent be involved in an authorative position. I've been told not to disipline at all when it comes to stepson-which can bring tension between me and the stepson.