That's exactly it- "it's not the children, it's the parent"!! If my husband and I were on the same page, life would be so much better! But we're not even on the same page with our children. I wish I would have been aware of some of the things you need to ask your other half before marrying them!
This is a great read, thank you.
I highly doubt that
I want to apologize to you. I went back and looked at what you said "you highly doubt"--I thought it was about the part where I said I do more for my s/s then his father. I was wrong and wanted to let you know I'm sorry.
FromTexas
This Space for Rent
FromTexas
This Space for Rent
Depends on the parentYou would think that some parents have children so they can pawn off their household chores on the kids so they don't have to do anything.
If both parents work long hours, the kids should help carry the load. However, if one adult does not work and stays home, they should carry most the load to contribute and not try to make the kids do the chores for them.
Then what is she going to have left to read?
She could read mine or your posts.
Well, mine anyway.
BS Gal
Voted Nicest in 08
FromTexas
This Space for Rent
I don't love you anymore.
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Wenchy
Guest
At what point do you start teaching them what it takes to keep a house clean?This also reminds me of the thread about tween/teenage boys. The stepson is immaculate and my son...
He announced to me the other day that he had finally clipped his toenails. I figure 12 is too old for me to do it for him and he just needs to be reminded, but then he forgets. Interesting comments/viewpoints so far.
Keep them coming.
mAlice
professional daydreamer
I agree. When I was domestic, the only thing I wouldn't do is mow the lawn or work on cars, but I didn't have boys pissin' all over the bathroom, either. I think if I had, cleaning toilets would have been an assigned chore.
Children should have chores, like mowing the lawn, raking, walking dogs, keeping their rooms clean, bringing their dirty clothes to the laundry room, putting away their clean laundry, cleaning the kitchen after dinner...if they have time. If they are loaded with homework and activities, it could be too much.
cha-ching
cattitude
My Sweetest Boy
I totally forgot about the activities. I barely had enough time to keep a meal on the table when the kids were involved in sports, etc. Seemed like Ott was at one end of the county and I was at the other. Between homework and sports there wasn't much time for anything else. My boys fed the dogs..that was pretty much their only "chore" but, interestingly, both kept their rooms very clean and neat..the oldest one obsessively. They also started doing their own laundry on their own when they were 11/12. From a young age I taught them how to do laundry, cook and DANCE!
When Ott's daughter was at the house, she didn't have any chores but she helped out when asked if there was something to do. Most often she was there on a weekend and the weekends were always about the kids.
I've never had visiting steps - my steps lived with me. But if I did have visiting steps, it's unlikely that I would expect them to do more than clean up after themselves and possibly help clear dinner dishes or something like that. Especially if I didn't work because I'd have all the housework done so that the weekend could be fun time for us.
I'll answer this in two parts.
First, yeah. That's life. Holiday doesn't mean a day at the spa or a day of pampering. If it's your day off and the sink stops up or the tire blows out, that's the way it is for the rest of us. If an 11 or 12 year old thinks that a holiday means a day of doing nothing, they should consider that it's Mom and Dad's day to do the same thing. As in, good for you, but you're making your own dinner and I ain't driving you nowhere, because it's my day off too. There's no understanding anywhere on the planet that Christmas or New Year's is a day off just for kids.
But on a broader not, I think a requirement for simple household chores is *great* for kids, and every single kid in my extended family who was exempted from simple chores - well, it shows. Slovenly, tardy, slipshod attitude towards work and commitments. I'm not saying it's a guarantee, but it's astonishing how a lack of any kind of regimen in their life has borne such awful fruit.
Amazingly, when I look back on my own parents, they did not pawn off jobs on me because they were too self-occupied to do them themselves - they kept at us to do things like take 20 minutes make our own beds even though they could have just told us to step aside and do it themselves in about a minute. My dad would work in the yard while little brother and me would stack the firewood or clean the garage - a job that might take us all morning but would have been effortless for him. Everyone had simple daily tasks like set the table for dinner, take out the trash, feed the dog. Mom and Dad could *easily* have done this themselves - and I have siblings who DID take this route with their kids - and I am glad they took the time to do that.
lovinmaryland
Well-Known Member
I think I should be implemementing more chores for my kids after reading this post. Right now they are 11, 10, and 8 and clean their rooms, bring down the laundry, pick up the front room (toys etc) and occasionally vacuum.... but they do make a mess of the bathroom so I think I will walk them all thru on how to clean the bathroom.
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Wenchy
Guest
Thank you.
I understand it is different when you throw in the blended family as well.
Granted, I could make their beds, do all the laundry, and all household necessities, but when are they to learn how to do it themselves if I do it all? Both have an interest in cooking and I am more than willing to teach. (Cleanup as well...
)It's actually painful, but they are learning.
So far, so good.
The house had a lot of extra "stuff" when I moved in which is now cleared out (no, the house wasn't filthy but it was cluttered) Now that it's all cleared away the house is much easier to keep up.
The boys cleaned their bathroom yesterday and D cleaned his (toilets and sinks) I will be washing all the towels, bathroom rugs and scrubbing the floors today.
We have company coming to stay and everything must be ship-shape.
The boys have been great.
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Wenchy
Guest
This thread has been reported to the mother of my soon to be stepson from four different sources.
It was a good conversation and I think we all have a different view on it. This is what the forums are about.
My hope is these children will grow up and know how to cook, clean, pay their bills and so on.
I'm no longer posting about the other.
This doesn't mean that 12 days out of 14 I will not be an influence on him.
I will still post about my bio's.
sunflower
Loving My Life...
This thread has been reported to the mother of my soon to be stepson from four different sources.
It was a good conversation and I think we all have a different view on it. This is what the forums are about.
My hope is these children will grow up and know how to cook, clean, pay their bills and so on.
I'm no longer posting about the other.
This doesn't mean that 12 days out of 14 I will not be an influence on him.
I will still post about my bio's.
Isnt that just lovely
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Wenchy
Guest
Yes.
What a lovely world we now have.
Going to play some REM. The 80's and 90's were still okay.
PrepH4U
New Member
Sounds like a normal forum day!