Crying it out

[cattitude]

It's not that she was mean, it's just more things are known now about how babies work. I mean, babies at two weeks old are crying for a reason. They are not crying to manipulate. I'm sure my mom let me cry it out at a young age too. Heck, she fed me cereal at two weeks (with a spoon).

Okay, I guess I sound mean. I think people are writing more books, etc. about babies because people buy this crap trying to do the very best for their kids. People are having babies later in life and I honestly think they "think too much" about raising their kids. I see it here with the attorneys I work with.

Sure seems there are more kids these days that are self-centered, need to be entertained, etc. and they have a lot more develomental issues.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

It's not that she was mean, it's just more things are known now about how babies work. I mean, babies at two weeks old are crying for a reason. They are not crying to manipulate. I'm sure my mom let me cry it out at a young age too. Heck, she fed me cereal at two weeks (with a spoon).

I don't believe in all that sissyfication stuff today. My mom let me cry and I let my daughter cry. At two weeks old, babies cry because they can and they don't know any better. They cry, you pick them up, they get used to it. I decided to break the habit w/my daughter before it started.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Okay, I guess I sound mean.

Welcome to the club.

Crying it out 01-14-2008 12:42 PM They want comfort, you asshat. THAT's why they cry.

 

[vraiblonde]

They are not crying to manipulate.

Babies don't cry to manipulate - they don't have the sophisticated thought process to accomplish that. They are cause-and-effect creatures: they are unhappy about something; Mommy rockles them and they feel better. Pretty simple stuff.

But I don't agree that the "experts" know any more about babies than our cave woman ancestors did. None of the new techniques work any better than the old ones - they just make you feel like an idiot because they present a "simple solution" that apparently everyone in the world can master except for you.

And that is a general "you", not specifically you, Speedy. Because those books things never worked for me either.

 

[Cowgirl]

Babies don't cry to manipulate - they don't have the sophisticated thought process to accomplish that. They are cause-and-effect creatures: they are unhappy about something; Mommy rockles them and they feel better. Pretty simple stuff.

But I don't agree that the "experts" know any more about babies than our cave woman ancestors did. None of the new techniques work any better than the old ones - they just make you feel like an idiot because they present a "simple solution" that apparently everyone in the world can master except for you.

And that is a general "you", not specifically you, Speedy. Because those books things never worked for me either.

I'm willing to bet cavewomen treated their babies similarly to how primates treat their babies. They're always carrying their babies around. I don't think a momma chimp thinks, "I'm not going to let my baby manipulate me."

 

[cattitude]

I'm willing to bet cavewomen treated their babies similarly to how primates treat their babies. They're always carrying their babies around. I don't think a momma chimp thinks, "I'm not going to let my baby manipulate me."

Yeah, but the cave women fixed dinner, cleaned the cave, etc. all with the kid in tow.

I worked, I didn't have the luxury of staying home so my kids had to bend to my schedule..it was just a necessity and I didn't think much about it. My oldest had reflux, puked all the time. My second one had apnea and was on a monitor for 8 months. I just didn't give things much of a thought because I had to work and it's just the way it was.

 

[vraiblonde]

I'm willing to bet cavewomen treated their babies similarly to how primates treat their babies. They're always carrying their babies around. I don't think a momma chimp thinks, "I'm not going to let my baby manipulate me."

You're onto something here.

Back in the day, the baby was joined to the mother until it was old enough to walk. Ma went out to pick beans and the baby rode along in a sling over her shoulder. Now everybody's oh so busy and can't have a pesky baby cramping their style. So "experts" started writing these weird books telling you how to cut the apron strings on a 4 month old.

Anyway, it doesn't hurt babies to fuss a bit - good for their lungs, as my Grannie used to say. But I'm not a huge fan of letting them scream and get all worked up.

 

[Cowgirl]

You're onto something here.

Back in the day, the baby was joined to the mother until it was old enough to walk. Ma went out to pick beans and the baby rode along in a sling over her shoulder. Now everybody's oh so busy and can't have a pesky baby cramping their style. So "experts" started writing these weird books telling you how to cut the apron strings on a 4 month old.

Anyway, it doesn't hurt babies to fuss a bit - good for their lungs, as my Grannie used to say. But I'm not a huge fan of letting them scream and get all worked up.

My sister "wears" her baby alot of the times. Of course, she can't do it all the time, but it helps when the baby is fussy and she has to get work done...or when she's out shopping. She has a sling similar to the one in the pic.

 

[Speedy70]

Anyway, it doesn't hurt babies to fuss a bit - good for their lungs, as my Grannie used to say. But I'm not a huge fan of letting them scream and get all worked up.

When I put my little boy down for his naps (drowsy, but awake), he screams his head off. He gets red splotches all over and starts sweating like crazy. He doesn't do that at night - just naps.

He's going to his pediatrician today because it seems he's caught the cold that I had last week. I will discuss his nap issues then.

 

[Speedy70]

My sister "wears" her baby alot of the times. Of course, she can't do it all the time, but it helps when the baby is fussy and she has to get work done...or when she's out shopping. She has a sling similar to the one in the pic.

I have a baby Bjorn. I had a Hot Sling, but it was too awkward getting him out of it (and in it, for that matter).

 

[Cowgirl]

I have a baby Bjorn. I had a Hot Sling, but it was too awkward getting him out of it (and in it, for that matter).

My sister makes her own. It takes several yards of fabric. She said it was a little tricky learning how to use, but she loves it now.

 

[sugarmama]

8 Weeks???? Holy crap. Sorry, but that's way too young. Dr. Ferber does not recommend his method until at LEAST 4 months of age.

Well, my 2 month old baby was sleeping throughout the night while your 5 month old still screams his head off. Maybe if you let him cry more, he'd sleep better in the end.
I agree with Vrai and Chasey. While babies that young are not trying to manipulate, they DO get the whole cause-effect thing. They learn REAL quick that if they cry, they get picked up. It certainly didn't kill my baby at 8 weeks old to cry. She's a smiley, happy baby who sleeps well now.
Yes, it breaks your heart to hear your baby cry, but it is SO worth it in the end. Not only does my baby NEVER cry herself to sleep anymore, she's hardly EVER fussy during the day.

 

[vraiblonde]

He doesn't do that at night - just naps.

Maybe he's not tired? :shrug: Doug wasn't a napping person. Kyle would have slept all day, but Doug just wasn't a sleeper.

Is there any difference in bedtime and naptime, as far as blankets, positioning, etc? Because maybe there's something about the nap situation that he doesn't like.

 

[Speedy70]

Well, my 2 month old baby was sleeping throughout the night while your 5 month old still screams his head off.

Shows you how much you know. My son has been sleeping through the night for months. We were using the Ferber method because of his sleep associations.

He will nap if I use his sleep associations that I'm trying to break.

 

[workin hard]

Maybe he's not tired? :shrug: Doug wasn't a napping person. Kyle would have slept all day, but Doug just wasn't a sleeper.

Is there any difference in bedtime and naptime, as far as blankets, positioning, etc? Because maybe there's something about the nap situation that he doesn't like.

My kid gets much better sleep and sleeps more often during the day at home and than he does at daycare. I'm thinking because at home he is in his own crib and it's a lot less active.

 

[Speedy70]

Maybe he's not tired? :shrug: Doug wasn't a napping person. Kyle would have slept all day, but Doug just wasn't a sleeper.

Is there any difference in bedtime and naptime, as far as blankets, positioning, etc? Because maybe there's something about the nap situation that he doesn't like.

He's definitely tired. He'll be yawning and rubbing his eyes. He'll sleep if I put him in his swing, or turn on the white noise machine, sing to him until he falls asleep, and if he has a paci. But, I'm trying to ditch the white noise, and paci.

Like I said earlier, I'm going to discuss it with his doctor today. But I'm thinking we'll make sure we get his night time sleep established then work on naps. I was hoping to do it all at once.

 

[workin hard]

Shows you how much you know. My son has been sleeping through the night for months. We were using the Ferber method because of his sleep associations.

He will nap if I use his sleep associations that I'm trying to break.

By sleep associations, you mean swaddling?

I wouldn't worry about swaddling alot because once the kid learns to really move around he won't want to be swaddled anyways and no swaddle will keep him contained once he starts moving.

Plus he'll be burning so much energy crawling and such he'll sleep well.

 

[nicole_M]

I don't believe in all that sissyfication stuff today. My mom let me cry and I let my daughter cry. At two weeks old, babies cry because they can and they don't know any better. They cry, you pick them up, they get used to it. I decided to break the habit w/my daughter before it started.

I agree completely...Too many books, too many people trying to tell you what's right and what you are doing wrong.

I talked to my Ped. about a year ago when the twins were throwing really bad tantrums and hitting each other etc....I told her that I'd smack their leg and put them in their rooms until they were done.

I felt guilty b/c I felt like I was being mean by not comforting them, even though they had done something WRONG.

She made me feel so much better...Saying 'You love your kids enough to DISCIPLINE them and make them aware of their actions instead of letting them run MY life!!". She was totally right.

Now I don't have to do that, all I have to do is speak with them and they will stop, b/c they know I am serious and what will happen if they don't. On occasion they get sent to their room and they will peek out and say "I'm done" and they come out.

I just had to do something and be SERIOUS about it. The 3 of them are so close in age and in constant competition

Can't wait until they are 13, 13 and 14

 

[Speedy70]

By sleep associations, you mean swaddling?

I wouldn't worry about swaddling alot because once the kid learns to really move around he won't want to be swaddled anyways and no swaddle will keep him contained once he starts moving.

Plus he'll be burning so much energy crawling and such he'll sleep well.

Swaddling, white noise, pacifier, and rocking.

 

[Speedy70]

Anyway, I'm done with this thread. Everyone has their own parenting ideas, techniques, and beliefs.

I get enough crap from my mother. I told her I will do it my way. If I ask her opinion, fine, But otherwise, I'll handle it my way.