huntr1
.
I doubt the wife would want to clean the house and prepare a romantic dinner for him and his girlfriend.
dating while married, without planning a
- Thread starter Plan B
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Larry Gude
Strung Out
lovinmaryland
Well-Known Member
Xaquin44
New Member
If a man is married but unfulfilled, and his spouse agrees the thrill is gone but we must get the kids raised, is an occasional romantic evening any big deal?
Thanks in advance.
yeah because the kids will never notice their parents don't love one another .... just save them the trouble of being lied to for their sake, suck it up and get a divorce. Your kids will eventually find out about your 'romantic evenings' and will lose all respect for the both of you.
Pete
Repete
I deeply appreciate all the advice and viewpoints.
Keep it coming if so inclined.
More aspects coming soon...
Is your wife hot and what days would she be available?
Roberta
OLD WISE ONE
If a man is married but unfulfilled, and his spouse agrees the thrill is gone but we must get the kids raised, is an occasional romantic evening any big deal?Thanks in advance.
WHY don't you try an OCCASIONAL ROMANTIC EVENING with you wife?????
If a man is married but unfulfilled, and his spouse agrees the thrill is gone but we must get the kids raised, is an occasional romantic evening any big deal?
Thanks in advance.
If your spouse thinks the thrill is gone you should try harder, not try to find a woman who expects less.
My bad.
We have tried that.
She no longer seems interested. Nor in counciling (again).
We mostly get on fine. Oldest knows, and seems down with it.
I'd mostly like companionship in passtimes: I sing for a bar band, motorcycle, and run. I know many women do not enjoy some of these, and I am fine doing them alone, but...
I do not want a divorce, nor to ever marry again. But I miss female companionship without restrictions, and the occasional deep kiss..
The advice to suck it up is likely the best, I reckon. Too many years on the left coast mustve warped me!
We have tried that.
She no longer seems interested. Nor in counciling (again).
We mostly get on fine. Oldest knows, and seems down with it.
I'd mostly like companionship in passtimes: I sing for a bar band, motorcycle, and run. I know many women do not enjoy some of these, and I am fine doing them alone, but...
I do not want a divorce, nor to ever marry again. But I miss female companionship without restrictions, and the occasional deep kiss..
The advice to suck it up is likely the best, I reckon. Too many years on the left coast mustve warped me!
Dymphna
Loyalty, Friendship, Love
Nanny Pam
************
I, personally, would never do it because one man is enough and I certainly don't want to deal with more than that.
But if the husband and wife agree that's the way it's going to be, eh - who cares? It's their business.
BUT if you're talking about cheating on your wife without her knowledge, then you are a jerk and don't deserve her anyway.
It is my belief that the wife would only sweat her support and income.
Thanks again.
L
lugebob
Guest
My bad.
We have tried that.
She no longer seems interested. Nor in counciling (again).
We mostly get on fine. Oldest knows, and seems down with it.
I'd mostly like companionship in passtimes: I sing for a bar band, motorcycle, and run. I know many women do not enjoy some of these, and I am fine doing them alone, but...
I do not want a divorce, nor to ever marry again. But I miss female companionship without restrictions, and the occasional deep kiss..
The advice to suck it up is likely the best, I reckon. Too many years on the left coast mustve warped me!
YOu are right the left coast messed you up.. and you are keying in on things in your own words...In my experience if your marraige does not include abuse, alcohol or drug dependincy or infedelity, It MUST and can be saved. And when I saved I dont' mean in it's current state. "She no longer seems interested." Take a step back and outside and look in. Why is she not interested??? Wives and mothers have to deal with alot of what might seem like unfair crap.(things you would rather not do) .. do you add to or take away from the crap?
"She no longer seems interested.". What does a guy do to make a woman interested? He either has one hell of a false sales pitch or he qenuinly changes himself to be attractive to her. Most marriage recoveries come from one person making the change and the other falling back in love. If you want it to work, you need to stop talking about relationship and start working on yourself.. What does she see each day in you? Bad Breath, nasty hair and clothes, leaves mess, waits for diner to be served, offers help but never takes total responsibilty for family and household things, snore, fart, cus, bad example for the kids, cant keep a job, never smile, all conversation start with the word "YOU" .....I could list a thousand things.... you have to look at yourself and start making yourself attractive once again. It is good for you and she will probably notice... word of warning though... do not ever say... hey look at me honey.. I changed.
Once you have her natural breed in attention in reaction, you can then suggest some assistance (not using counseling word) in helping you both put the shine back on the marraige....
The hardest thing is accepting your own role in a failed relationship.... it can be earth shattering.. the old self is obviously not working... and as someone else said... are you looking for a woman that has lower standards???
Like I said before.. you need to decide to try... after that I would be glad to give you some direction... offline..
mygoldnhorse
Cowgirl Up
If a man is married but unfulfilled, and his spouse agrees the thrill is gone but we must get the kids raised, is an occasional romantic evening any big deal?
Thanks in advance.
Have you thought about asking your wife out for a date? You may be surprised
Chain729
CageKicker Extraordinaire
I, personally, would never do it because one man is enough and I certainly don't want to deal with more than that.
But if the husband and wife agree that's the way it's going to be, eh - who cares? It's their business.
BUT if you're talking about cheating on your wife without her knowledge, then you are a jerk and don't deserve her anyway.
Talk to your SO. She deserves to know and have a say in what happens. Relationships take two to make them relationships. If she's alright "opening up" the relationship that's your business- both of yours- hope it works for you. If not, I suggest you find out why neither of you are happy. You both promised to be with each other, for better or worse, and worse includes "unhappy." IMO, if there isn't abuse or infedelity and you want to get divorced or look elsewhere just because, I feel sorry for your wife. If you're looking elsewhere because you're unhappy, people like you are why marriage doesn't mean anything anymore.Wow. Thanks for the depth, and at times caring, in your responses. Again!
Having tried most of the above, I confess I have decided to just keep trying to improve myself, and stay in the lifeless marraige.
My spouse wants to either watch TV while lying on the couch, or go shopping. I have little discernable income and we rent, or that'd be fine with me.
For my age, I am real active and thin (but so is my hair!), but I guess it comes down to the old 80s Wendy's commercial: Where's the Beef!?!?? I am no heman, but no girly-man either.
Singing in the band, going to the Mall museums, running 5k's, reading good books, backpacking the Smokies with my two boys, and hotrodding my Camaro and sportbike seem worthwhile to my women freinds. But not to my SO...
Guess I'll soldier on; I am a retired naval officer, so I am used to abuse!
Having tried most of the above, I confess I have decided to just keep trying to improve myself, and stay in the lifeless marraige.
My spouse wants to either watch TV while lying on the couch, or go shopping. I have little discernable income and we rent, or that'd be fine with me.
For my age, I am real active and thin (but so is my hair!), but I guess it comes down to the old 80s Wendy's commercial: Where's the Beef!?!?? I am no heman, but no girly-man either.
Singing in the band, going to the Mall museums, running 5k's, reading good books, backpacking the Smokies with my two boys, and hotrodding my Camaro and sportbike seem worthwhile to my women freinds. But not to my SO...
Guess I'll soldier on; I am a retired naval officer, so I am used to abuse!
Dougstermd
ORGASM DONOR
If a man is married but unfulfilled, and his spouse agrees the thrill is gone but we must get the kids raised, is an occasional romantic evening any big deal?
Thanks in advance.
I have a couple of questions.
1)is your wife chubby?
2) What kinda motorcycle does she ride?
3)What color are her aerolas?
L
lugebob
Guest
Wow. Thanks for the depth, and at times caring, in your responses. Again!
Having tried most of the above, I confess I have decided to just keep trying to improve myself, and stay in the lifeless marraige.
My spouse wants to either watch TV while lying on the couch, or go shopping. I have little discernable income and we rent, or that'd be fine with me.
For my age, I am real active and thin (but so is my hair!), but I guess it comes down to the old 80s Wendy's commercial: Where's the Beef!?!?? I am no heman, but no girly-man either.
Singing in the band, going to the Mall museums, running 5k's, reading good books, backpacking the Smokies with my two boys, and hotrodding my Camaro and sportbike seem worthwhile to my women freinds. But not to my SO...
Guess I'll soldier on; I am a retired naval officer, so I am used to abuse!
Try rewording this "I confess I have decided to just keep trying to improve myself, and stay in the lifeless marriage." to I confess I have decided to just keep trying to improve myself, and figure out what it takes to put life back in this marriage.
The more you describe the more you sound like me. I have been in the public eye alot and with that comes the groupies, fans and so called friends. These people really stroked my EGO and I had a period in my life when I lived for all that and could not understand why the love of my life could give a rats ass about the public things I do....
May I suggest, putting a toy or 2 away now and then, sit on the couch and shop with her...... no mater how much you may hate it.. I know where you are coming from with this... I used to hate shopping so much, I would go but I had an attitude the entire time and would huff and puff if she went around the same rack twice. This can be slowly fixed with a different outlook. For women shopping is an activity, for men it is a chore. If you go with her and actually participate in her shopping thoughts and activity, you may learn alot about her.... she will like it because you are showing an interest in her thoughts, likes and dislikes.. While shopping her eyes, face and the things she touches are tells of things she will not put into words and you can key in on them. Now I warn you.. you will never like shopping as much as a woman, so limit this activity and behavior, because to much can also get ugly.
I have been married 30 years and we still find out more about each other each time we shop at the grocery store.... Some times the trip ends in good old silliness like her actually taking my suggestion of riding on the end of the shopping cart as I push the goods across the parking lot to the car. fine behavior for a couple of 49 year olds.... but i hope you see what i mean.
Here is an idea. On one of the good, no self pity days....The next time she even hints it is cold out, make sure the kids have a place to be and take her to the Mall (yuck) and tell her it would make you happy if you could get her some warm, cozy and girly gloves hat and scarf, or perhaps fuzzy socks..but you want her to pick them out. No mater what.. reserve the smart ass comments and utility suggestions and stay connected with her methods of shopping, you can learn something. LAugh when it is funny, wink when it is nice and make a quick ugly face when you dont like it... but if she likes it anyway... you accept it happily. If all is still well push the limits by taking her to eat icecream or something... even a round of skillball at Chuckie Cheese to see who can get the most tickets.. Add fun and silliness to things just between you. not everyday and not on a calendar... just when you are inspired by your heart or when she needs it...
anyway.. you want her to be interested in you... you need to do the same.. even if it does not seem natural and her likes are limited.
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onebdzee
off the shelf
Wow. Thanks for the depth, and at times caring, in your responses. Again!
Having tried most of the above, I confess I have decided to just keep trying to improve myself, and stay in the lifeless marraige.
My spouse wants to either watch TV while lying on the couch, or go shopping. I have little discernable income and we rent, or that'd be fine with me.
For my age, I am real active and thin (but so is my hair!), but I guess it comes down to the old 80s Wendy's commercial: Where's the Beef!?!?? I am no heman, but no girly-man either.
Singing in the band, going to the Mall museums, running 5k's, reading good books, backpacking the Smokies with my two boys, and hotrodding my Camaro and sportbike seem worthwhile to my women freinds. But not to my SO...
Guess I'll soldier on; I am a retired naval officer, so I am used to abuse!
It seems to me that I've heard all this before when a guy I know(that is married) wanted to have an affair on his wife with a friend of mine....he said the same things about his wife as you are saying....come to find out that his wife wasn't anything that he said she was
