I am amazed at the disrespect some people have for the families of deceased. I have had several acquaintances killed this month either by motor vehicle accidents or by long suffering of cancer. In their online postings, "a certain poster" has posted and has gone out of their way to dig up their background. Also felt the need to post it publicly. I guess, because they are "Anonymous" they feel they can dig these peoples past and post it publicly even though it has happened numerous years ago. I don't understand how people can do this to other people and their families they don't even know. How unspeakable horrid this is to their families to have to relive this when they are going through and burying a loved one, especially after loosing them in a tragic accident. Then to have their past mistakes relived and posted for the PUBLIC to read under the accident report. Its amazing how little it takes to amuse people. All I can say is SHAME on you.
I'm sorry for your losses and I can understand your distaste for the actions of others that you deem improper.
It's kind of a double edge sword. I will use my own life as an example so you understand what I mean.
My bio-father died last year. He was not a good man and I refused to allow him to know anything about me or my life. I tracked him over the years and kept tabs on him so I always knew where he was. (I do the same with my bio-mother)
He was a mean alcoholic, thief, physically abusive, verbally abusive, and schizophrenic. I also think he was a child molester, although I have no proof. Now, all these things that made him a bad person, he never once did to me except steal from me. I watched him beat my bio-mother to a bloody pulp and tried to kill her. I was 2. I remember every second from the beginning to the end when the cops put the cuffs on him as if it were yesterday. I remember the blood curdling screams my bio-mother made and how they turns into mushy gurgling sounds. Some times I wish my memory wasn't as good as it is.
Now, fast forward to last year because I don't feel like over sharing, but now you have an idea of what he was like.
He was living at his mother's homestead and dying. He was suffering from complete liver and kidney shut down due to his severe alcoholism. He died in August and my one Aunt whom I allowed in my life the year before called me crying and telling me he was dead. She said she was sorry that she didn't tell me before that he was dying. I asked her why and then followed with, "It's better that you did not tell me. I knew he was dying and it would serve no purpose for me to be there. He was a bad person and never a dad. What am I suppose to do? Say sweet loving words before he died to make him feel better?" She did not take offense to my words because she is a lot like me, rather cold and very much a realist. She knows her younger brother was a F* up.
Now, I spoke to my Gma also after his death. He was her baby and that damn woman would do anything for him. Which is why she was never a part of my life until he died. But to her, I did not speak plainly. To her, I said the few good things he did do for me. I do not see the point in hurting an old woman any more than she is already hurting.
I do not mourn his death. I do not revel in his death. I am relieved that he is dead because he is no longer fighting the demons he harbored his whole life. His mental illness was not his fault and I know that. But his inability to overcome his weaknesses was his fault. I feel nothing for him, no sadness, anger, empathy, sympathy, nothing. Just relief that he is no longer suffering.
Soo...The way a person is remembered depends on how the person lived their life and how they affected the lives of those around them. My Gma will always love her youngest son that she buried and I have never loved my father. Same man. Lived one life. Affected 2 people differently.
:shrug:
