Yep. Your first step would be to retain a lawyer.
J, my line of questioning was to determine if he was the type of father that would rather step up and take the lead role rather than be a weekend dad. I know several men who have successfully done so. A woman can't assume she gets to make all the decisions and that it will be her way or no way. Are you prepared for a fight if he surprises you?
Another thing... 12 years into a marriage is not an easy or necessarily happy time. I know you are probably not open to thinking about it at this point... but my first recommendation to you would be to do some soul searching and to really make sure you are not the reason you are unhappy... not really him.
I really didn't want to throw everything out there, but in order to get helpful advice, I guess I have to. (I'm not saying the advice given hasn't been helpful)
My husband and I fight about the children. It's the ONLY thing we fight about.It's sad. He's been a wonderful husband, provider and friend, but a terrible father.
He does nothing with our kids. Unless, he wants something from me. He knows the way to my heart is through my kids. He's contantly yelling and critisizing them. The strange part: it doesn't seem to get to them, as much as it gets to me. It breaks my heart to see them treated like that. Let me clarify, that he is NOT physically abusive in any way.
I do love him. But, it's time for me to start looking out for what's in the best interest for them. He seems to be "better" with them and more "into" them, when he's not living here.
Trust me, I have done soul searching. Many times. It keeps coming back to : I feel like staying with him for the financial security, is being selfish. It's my kids lives Im concerned about. I want them to have a happy childhood. I'm just not sure how to go about this, without hurting them more. They do love their dad.
