Vince
......
Young lady first, don't take any advice from VoteJP. He is a complete moron as anyone here can tell you. Second, get a lawyer and get your counseling from him or her. That's the best advice I can offer.
Divorce/Separation process
- Thread starter jaclyn
- Start date
Baja28
Obama destroyed America
Huh?
kwillia
n/a
You've really made this easy now! J! You've got the power! You can only control your actions... you have no control of him. You need to get a life. Join a yoga class or something and TELL him you will not be home on such and such nights during such and such ours and the kids are HIS responsibility. And then YOU STICK TO IT. If you are going grocery shopping... you leave the kids with him. When he is home on weekends, up and announce you have errands to run and he has the kids.... then go do something.
He does nothing for the kids because you enable him to do so. What is the worst that can happen? He can say, "F... this! I'm leaving!" If so, then you have your out. But what if... what if he wakes up and actually steps up? He may just surprise you.
Don't make it a game. You can't raise your voice, you can't argue about your plans, you can't go do something that might hurt the situation or just to spite him. You have to truly go do something for yourself and walk away and let him learn to be the dad you and your kids need him to be.
PrepH4U
New Member
jaclyn
Not a Lurker anymore!
Wow. You make it sound so simple, lol.
When I do go out, whether it be work or with a friend, he does NOT step up to the plate and interact with the kids. (our girls are 13 and 10) He goes back into the bedroom, shuts the door and watches TV. The kids constantly call me on my cell phone and ask "when are you coming home" or " Daddy's sleeping" or "Daddy's mad". It's bullsh*t. I feel like I am punishing the kids when I leave them there.
The only thing that changes when I do go out with my friends...is now We start arguing.
Maybe I need to tell him what I expect while I am gone? Haven't done that before.
Baja28
Obama destroyed America
I already asked her to go out with us this weekend. Where you wanna take her?Have an affair. That will get the process going real quick.
nachomama
All Up In Your Grill
Baja28
Obama destroyed America
Ok I'll pay but y'all drink um. I'm stickin to beer.Ruddy Duck, silly! Shots of Patron are on you!
kwillia
n/a
Ruddy Duck, silly! Shots of Patron are on you!
Shots on him.... that gives a whole new recipe for hairy navel...
nachomama
All Up In Your Grill
Baja28
Obama destroyed America
I like this.Shots on him.... that gives a whole new recipe for hairy navel...
Pete
Repete
You just triggered a red alert on all the SOMD zip codes on Match.com.
jaclyn
Not a Lurker anymore!
Pete
Repete
The sound all throughout the hood......You've got mail!
I will never get this. one party wants the other (who is payign the bills) to leave the home.....
If you really want out, get out and work on the custody issue. I garuntee that he will want custody when you say you are leaving and want him to vacate to allow you to raise the children in the home he is paying for....
VoteJP
J.P. Cusick
J.P. Cusick, for Maryland Governor 2010
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Red Alert, red alert ...
No, but a counselor or Minister might remind you of your duty.
And the idea is to take the husband along, so the Counselor might influence the husband in a positive way.
When one parent stops arguing then both stop at the same time.
If you stop your side of the arguing then both sides stop.
Red Alert, red alert ... = are the words of another.
.
.
Red Alert, red alert ...
No, but a counselor or Minister might remind you of your duty.
And the idea is to take the husband along, so the Counselor might influence the husband in a positive way.
When one parent stops arguing then both stop at the same time.
If you stop your side of the arguing then both sides stop.
Red Alert, red alert ... = are the words of another.
.
S
shiki
Guest
Why can't he watch tv? He's grown. Your kids are 10 and 13, surely they have interests that don't require daddy holding their hands. Do they eat? Are they safe? If so cut the apron strings, tell them to stop calling.
If whatever he's not doing so important to be done why aren't you the one there doing it? People have different parenting styles. What do you expect him to do while you're gone and who will be doing it when you separate?
SoMDGirl42
Well-Known Member
You said you've been married 11 years (12 in Nov). Is the oldest child his? I ask because it sounds like he could be harboring some resentment.
A. the child isn't his so he feels no need to be a father
B. the child is his and feels like he was "trapped" into marrying you
and I'm not saying you trapped him. I'm just trying to figure out why he doesn't want to be a father to his two girls. Unless of course, he's just a POS.
Does your house have a basement or extra bedroom? I ask because I've read many couples are currently living in the same house and still going through the divorce process but because of the recession can not afford to live apart.
If you can, I'd advise you to retain a lawyer if you can afford it. You will get your best course of action through him/her.
BTW, I had to be legally separated for 1 year before I could file for divorce. Separated in April 97, divorce final Nov 98. If either party is committing adultery, you can file for the divorce after 3 months of separation. I actually filed 6 months into our separation, and it still took a total of a year and a half for it to be finalized.
kwillia
n/a
I agree... I don't see how he is harming the kids by pouting because she went out. The kids don't need him to entertain them.
She said she still loves him... just hates his behavior. Don't forget that part, folks. She says she still loves him. I say she's part of the reason he acts the way he does and she needs to get a backbone and start doing things on her own and throwing some responsibility back at him rather than assume she needs to always be the one in charge and getting things done.