Do you respect Stay at home Moms

[Wenchy]

Thanks. It's true though. People assume you do nothing. WTH? Do they think theres a laundry/pick kids up when sick/24hr. nurse/chef/maid/caregiver/be there when I need you no mater what fairy? I am actually now embarrassed to say i work outside of the home. I feel as though I am neglecting in some way. I only work mon.-wed. 9-1 and Fri. 9-12 an still feel guilty. For me personally, I feel it is my JOB to be a mother. End of story. Not that you can't when you work, as I am figuring out, but I hate it. I DO however, enjoy the "acknowledgement" and personal satisfaction I get working, but dam, I miss my baby.

Never feel guilty for working inside or outside of the home. Both ways can be worked out, with children or without.

If you raise good children with values, you can be proud. If you raise children who have none, then you can feel guilty, or blame it on society. I say don't spare the rod. We can't beat our children anymore ( I still will smack mine if the situation warrants it) but we can certainly take away all they hold sacred. (computers, games and toys...sad, isn't it?)

Enjoy today and all it has to bring instead of worrying about it. Those traits will be passed on to your children.

 

[meangirl]

Never feel guilty for working inside or outside of the home. Both ways can be worked out, with children or without.

If you raise good children with values, you can be proud. If you raise children who have none, then you can feel guilty, or blame it on society. I say don't spare the rod. We can't beat our children anymore ( I still will smack mine if the situation warrants it) but we can certainly take away all they hold sacred. (computers, games and toys...sad, isn't it?)

Enjoy today and all it has to bring instead of worrying about it. Those traits will be passed on to your children.

And once again you nailed it.

I don't look down on working moms and it makes me laugh when some are so bitter that we stay home.

 

[Tinkerbell]

I did the SAHM thing for a couple of years. Then I went back to work. Now I'm trying to figure out how I'm working full time and still have all the duties of a SAHM! Hubby's getting a talking to tonight, and the playstation is going in the closet!

 

[Cowgirl]

That really pisses me off. I was a stay at home mom forever until recently. I did pleanty!! Number one is that I was always accessible. No worries of "asking" someone if I could get my kid etc. I cleaned, cooked, ran errands, laundry, and had the freedom to plan my day accordingly. I also was able to plan doctors visits for Celie whenever. If you are a real SAHM, there are MANY things to keep you busy. To make the assumption that you do nothing is extremely offensive. Don't take this personally. I just hate it when people make that assumption. When people asked me what I did, I was exremely proud to say I was a SAHM. I was a MOTHER!!!! Fulltime.

Good grief..chill out. I was talking about being a stay at home WIFE...as in, without children. I know that stay at home MOMs are busy.

I understand where Wenchy is coming from...but keep in mind that I am 25, just graduated from college several years ago. I would be bored as hell if I stayed home. That is MY personal situation. I am too young to just sit at home..I would feel useless.

If I was older with grown children, I'd love to stay at home.

 

[chess]

I have respect for stay at home moms or dads. I know people that are in both situations. If it works for the family then let it be ...

 

[itsbob]

You can think whatever you want of me. I really do not care. I do not feel that it is laziness at all. I just feel like my place is at home and that is what my job is. I never grew up wanting to be some big scientist or the CEO of a major company! I grew up wanting to be a mommy and a wife and that is what I am. No it is not all I am but it is what I knew I wanted the main focus of my life to be. And if you think that makes me lazy then you must not have a family.

I know the religous wing-nuts aren't going to like it but..

DO you stay at home becasue you want to or is this commanded by your church, or both? And if so, which church?

I know of one church where they command the woman NOT to work no matter what the circumstance, yet they want them to go to college. Not to get educated and gain a profession, but to meet a man that is getting educated to be their husband.

This is only the church I know about, I'm sure there are others.

I've watched men work themselves practically to death while the wives sit at home doing nothing, because the church told them that is the way, even though both of them may have college degrees(talk about wasted money on tuition) only one has ever worked.

And it doesn't matter if kids are home or not, wives (women) are NOT supposed to work, it's not their place!

Personally I like being in a house where both work, and both are on even ground. Both have careers, and professions, both equally share the financial load of taking care of a household etc.. Both can enjoy the sense of accomplishmnt at work, and their obit will say more then 1970 - 2030 Housewife.

 

[CMC122]

To each their own

 

[kwillia]

To each their own

Exactly... what works for one family may not work for another and circumstances for one family may not be the same for another. That being said, I don't think quality of parenting is defined by the quantity of hours spent with a child, therefore, I think this is all a moot point.

 

[smoothmarine187]

Exactly... what works for one family may not work for another and circumstances for one family may not be the same for another. That being said, I don't think quality of parenting is defined by the quantity of hours spent with a child, therefore, I think this is all a moot point.

but what about the things that the person watching them for 8 hours everyday is teaching them?

 

[CMC122]

Exactly... what works for one family may not work for another and circumstances for one family may not be the same for another. That being said, I don't think quality of parenting is defined by the quantity of hours spent with a child, therefore, I think this is all a moot point.

I think you're right I always say quality over quantity is better anyday.

 

[kwillia]

but what about the things that the person watching them for 8 hours everyday is teaching them?

My two thrived in a home daycare environment run by a very dedicated daycare provider. I believe that their experiences in a different environment from their home broadened their views and increased socialization skills as well as respect for authority. My daycare provider was structured and the children had a combination of age appropriate educational lessons, crafts, structured play time (specific games) as well as free play (play what you want).

 

[Redskinsmama]

I hate all the people that say they wish they could stay home but can not afford to have a parent stay home with their kids. Look no one MADE you buy the $375,000 house you can barely afford, the 2 new cars and all the things you bought with CC's. Their are choices you make in your life and you chose to have the material stuff matter more. Yeah I have a nice car and we have nice things but they are things we can afford on ONE salery because that is what is important to US! Granted, people have different priorities but don't whine to me that I am ohhhh so lucky to be able to stay home when you made choices that made you not be able to stay home and we made choices that allowed me to stay home!

i personally have no desire to get a job, ever. Even before we had kids I was a SAHW most of the time. I just enjoyed being home to take care of everything and my husband enjoyed having me at home. He travels and we like to be able to go with him when we want and meet him for lunch whenever. That is time we spend together that we would loose if I went to work. To me being with my family is MUCH more important then how big my house is![/QUOTE/]

ok you can hop off of your "i'm better than everyone else b/c i don't need materialistic things" box. you choose not to have ambition. What were you taking care of while you were a SAHW? i can get my house clean within three hours (and it is rather large) so what in the hell could you possibly have to do that would keep you fulfilled? You chose to lead a simple life, one without challenges and aspirations (i am speaking about your SAHW era) and yet you come on and blast people that want to be successful? My mother worked her ass off everyday to ensure that i could have an amazing education and grow up in a nice neighborhood free of crime. I'm so thankful that i had a mom with such drive to provide the very best for her children. you are one twisted sister.

 

[Redskinsmama]

I used to have friends that couldn't stand there parents b/c there life was dependent solely upon them. Almost as if they were living vicariously through their child b/c they didn't live life to the fullest.

 

[itsbob]

Do you respect Stay at ... 01-19-2007 10:32 AM why do you have to blame everything on some church?

I don't think I BLAMED churches, I was asking a question.

Is it their choice, or a church choice?

ANd offered an example or two of what would be a church choice.

I don't even think I said it was good or bad.. just asked.

 

[Geek]

I am not home for religous reasons. I am home simply becasue I am the best person for the job. I want my children raised my a college graduate that likes to sing and dance with the kids and has a big sense of humor. I wanted someone who would step in front of a train for my children. I wanted my kids to not have to get up and be out of my house for hours on end. I wanted to pick their playmates. I wanted to focus on reading very early. I am very specific about what they are allowed to watch. I was the only one qualified to rasie my kids. And I am loving it.

 

[PelyKat]

Back in the day, I did the shm/w thing, but found that I needed some outlet so I began working 2 hours a day 3 days a week, with the kids in the nursery/preschool next-door. They loved it. We did not have toddlers in our neighborhood, and this was their play time. When I was offered more hours, I declined. When the job was changed, I quit, but the kids still got to go to 'school' twice a week. when I did shopping.

As they aged, I would work during their school hours. This was always good arrangement. I disliked full time, and being military we moved enough that I changed jobs a few time until I found one that really fit.

Now that I have retired, I am a rahw. And it is great. Yes I still have the laundry, cleaning, etc. But we are a lot more casual about it. Hubby does help a lot due to back and joint issues. But then I help in the yard too. It all just works!

 

[PelyKat]

Do you respect Stay at ... 01-19-2007 01:46 PM retired from WHAT?! Sounds like you've never worked a real, full , productive day in your life.

Don't you love the ones that are unsigned!

For the Karma giver's info, once the kids were in HS and College I did work Full time, and then even owned my own business. Which is what I am retired from. I'm sorry you are jealous that I do not Need to work to survive, and choose to do other things to feel fulfilled.

Today I am editing my first Novel that will be published by the end of the month! Have a nice day!

 

[Geek]

Do you respect Stay at ... 01-19-2007 01:46 PM retired from WHAT?! Sounds like you've never worked a real, full , productive day in your life.

Don't you love the ones that are unsigned!

For the Karma giver's info, once the kids were in HS and College I did work Full time, and then even owned my own business. Which is what I am retired from. I'm sorry you are jealous that I do not Need to work to survive, and choose to do other things to feel fulfilled.

Today I am editing my first Novel that will be published by the end of the month! Have a nice day!

Cool! What kind of of book?

 

[czygvtwkr]

It's a personal choice they need to make based on their family's needs... I don't think it's my business one way or the other. But I stand by my opinion that not all women who "chose" to stay at home are actually putting in a full day's work.

I know alot of people that don't put in a full day work at work even though they are there all day long

 

[camily]

I know alot of people that don't put in a full day work at work even though they are there all day long

Good point!