Engagement Ring & Retirement

[Nickel]

So she divorced him while they were still in the military and retirement wasn't even on the table at that point..

He probably slipped through tthe cracks on that one..

Although if she was on active duty too, I don't know how that would effect it.. I think it would seeing how she would be working towards her own retirement for some of those years.

She wasn't active duty, she didn't reenlist after my brother was born.

 

[kwillia]

Pawn the ring and I don't want HIS retirement money.

Wait a minute... I have a 401k plan that I have been dumping money into ever since I got married. My spouse does not have a formal retirement plan. He is entitled to half the retirement accumulated for the duration of our marriage... it's only fair. :shrug:

 

[CandyRain]

Wait a minute... I have a 401k plan that I have been dumping money into ever since I got married. My spouse does not have a formal retirement plan. He is entitled to half the retirement accumulated for the duration of our marriage... it's only fair. :shrug:

Hypothetically, you mean to tell me, if he cheats on you and runs off with a 19 yo, you're going to give him half of YOUR retirement?????

She'll have at least 46 more years in the work force to fund their retirement.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Wait a minute... I have a 401k plan that I have been dumping money into ever since I got married. My spouse does not have a formal retirement plan. He is entitled to half the retirement accumulated for the duration of our marriage... it's only fair. :shrug:

Yeah, I can see that valid point. I guess I've always thought of it as each individual contributing towards their own retirement, not realizing that perhaps there is only one retirement account split between the two.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Hypothetically, you mean to tell me, if he cheats on you and runs off with a 19 yo, you're going to give him half of YOUR retirement?????

Technically it is HIS, too.

 

[kwillia]

Hypothetically, you mean to tell me, if he cheats on you and runs off with a 19 yo, you're going to give him half of YOUR retirement?????

She'll have at least 46 more years in the work force to fund their retirement.

It was accumulated during the marriage... he is a self employed sole proprietor. His business was started during our marriage and I get half of his assets should we split. Get it... anything accumulated during the marriage gets split. It's not that complicated.

 

[Jameo]

Wait a minute... I have a 401k plan that I have been dumping money into ever since I got married. My spouse does not have a formal retirement plan. He is entitled to half the retirement accumulated for the duration of our marriage... it's only fair. :shrug:

IF I ever get married, I have my own 401k and my hubby best have his own retirement plan set up. I'm not gonna depend on my hubby for my retirement and I don't expect him to depend on me like that. Maybe it has something about my mom drilling in my head NEVER depend on a man for anything

 

[morganj614]

Hypothetically, you mean to tell me, if he cheats on you and runs off with a 19 yo, you're going to give him half of YOUR retirement?????

She'll have at least 46 more years in the work force to fund their retirement.

you really are a dolt. read the state divorce laws.

 

[SamSpade]

Ok, got a question. I put 30 grand down on a house before we marry. It increases in value by 100k after we marry and together we pay off, say, 20k in equity. What should a "split" be?

 

[kwillia]

Oh and for the record, I am of the opinion that the above does not apply to those "shacking up".

If you do not chose to legally marry... you do not have right to half his/her stuff when you split.

 

[morganj614]

Ok, got a question. I put 30 grand down on a house before we marry. It increases in value by 100k after we marry and together we pay off, say, 20k in equity. What should a "split" be?

You're the home owner first and add her to your mortgage?

 

[kwillia]

Ok, got a question. I put 30 grand down on a house before we marry. It increases in value by 100k after we marry and together we pay off, say, 20k in equity. What should a "split" be?

If I am not mistaken, a house becomes joint property which would mean a 50/50 split is in order.

 

[CandyRain]

It was accumulated during the marriage... he is a self employed sole proprietor. His business was started during our marriage and I get half of his assets should we split. Get it... anything accumulated during the marriage gets split. It's not that complicated.

I get it but I'm thinking more along the lines of going separate ways and not splitting the farm 50/50. In your case, if it's a successful business, the business will continue to be a source of income for him now and will fund his retirement, as you will keep your job and fully fund your own retirement.

 

[Nickel]

If I am not mistaken, a house becomes joint property which would mean a 50/50 split is in order.

I hope he gets the dog that doesn't pee all over the floor.

 

[Nickel]

I get it but I'm thinking more along the lines of going separate ways and not splitting the farm 50/50. In your case, if it's a successful business, the business will continue to be a source of income for him now and will fund his retirement, as you will keep your job and fully fund your own retirement.

This is all very complicated, and exactly why my mother always told me to choose wisely.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

If I am not mistaken, a house becomes joint property which would mean a 50/50 split is in order.

But...day has owned his house for 7 years. Him and I have been together going on two years. It wouldn't be fair for me to pocket five years worth of equity. :shrug:

 

[CandyRain]

you really are a dolt. read the state divorce laws.

Nope, just independent. When I divorced my husband, I didn't want a dime of his or from him. I knew I was fully capable of providing a life for me and my son on my own, and I have. :shrug:

Money is power and if you don't have someone's money, they have no power over you.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

I get it but I'm thinking more along the lines of going separate ways and not splitting the farm 50/50. In your case, if it's a successful business, the business will continue to be a source of income for him now and will fund his retirement, as you will keep your job and fully fund your own retirement.

But why should he be forced to start his nest egg from scratch when it was a mutual agreement that SHE would start one for him from day 1 of the marriage?

 

[CandyRain]

But why should he be forced to start his nest egg from scratch when it was a mutual agreement that SHE would start one for him from day 1 of the marriage?

There was also a mutual agreement of from death do us part so, hypothetically, if he runs off with a 19 yo, he made the choice to start from scratch. PRENUP!!!!!

 

[kwillia]

I get it but I'm thinking more along the lines of going separate ways and not splitting the farm 50/50. In your case, if it's a successful business, the business will continue to be a source of income for him now and will fund his retirement, as you will keep your job and fully fund your own retirement.

See... it could work that way... we could agree that my vested interest in his business is equal to his vested interest in my retirement and agree to a wash. It would be put in writing that my retirement is my own and his business is his own and so on. Folks do it all the time... let's say one wants to keep the house rather than put it on the market only to divide the profit... they would come up with an agreeable "buy out" amount and the person keeping the house would either get money or stuff equaling that amount in order to stay in the house. The house and mortgage would be signed over to the one keeping it. Same goes for splitting vehicles and appliances and such. If catt and otter split, I'm sure she will let him keep the big screen t.v. as long as he lets her keep the washer and dryer... :shrug: