Food for thought-

[pixiegirl]

Huh? I better leave this one alone...

Did you read that I said it was not directed at your mother as I'm sure that was a different time? 99% of the time bad luck is a result of poor choices. Period. Your mother obviously chose a poor mate, is this Joetaxpayers fault or responsibility? And before you get your panties in a bunch over THAT statement go read my reply to Vrai. I did the same.

 

[vraiblonde]

Your mother obviously chose a poor mate

From my own personal experience, some women don't necessarily choose a poor mate - their husband *becomes* a poor mate. You can choose a guy who is terrific, stable and a good family man, then they kirk out and start doing stupid things to wreck the family.

My own experience PLUS:

A friend whose husband couldn't take the job pressure, so he got hooked on crack.

My DIL's father who decided life was passing him by, so he ran off with some 20 year old chickie.

And there are countless others. It's not always that the woman made a bad choice. People change. And, yeah, sometimes you can see the train wreck coming from miles away, but not always.

 

[jenbengen]

Did you read that I said it was not directed at your mother as I'm sure that was a different time? 99% of the time bad luck is a result of poor choices. Period. Your mother obviously chose a poor mate, is this Joetaxpayers fault or responsibility? And before you get your panties in a bunch over THAT statement go read my reply to Vrai. I did the same.

I guess the mom should just give up the kids that she can't afford. That'll help- let's let the taxpayers pay for children of the state. MUCH BETTER. Oh, and you say "give them up"...how many moms who love their kids would do that??!! And who the f**k is going to take 4 kids?! Just shut up while you're ahead.

 

[jenbengen]

From my own personal experience, some women don't necessarily choose a poor mate - their husband *becomes* a poor mate. You can choose a guy who is terrific, stable and a good family man, then they kirk out and start doing stupid things to wreck the family.

My own experience PLUS:

A friend whose husband couldn't take the job pressure, so he got hooked on crack.

My DIL's father who decided life was passing him by, so he ran off with some 20 year old chickie.

And there are countless others. It's not always that the woman made a bad choice. People change. And, yeah, sometimes you can see the train wreck coming from miles away, but not always.

THANK YOU!!!! Point well made.

 

[vraiblonde]

And one more:

My ex-husband's cousin married a wonderful gal. Really, nobody could see anything wrong with this woman. She was kind, educated, compassionate, stable, came from a stable home, was very devoted to her husband and looking forward to having children. The cousin is a peach, very devoted to her, had a great job, nice house, calm stable upbringing, good values. They were the perfect match.

Then one day we get the call that she had begun an affair with some guy she met through work, had run off with him, and was now using drugs and drinking heavily.

 

[jenbengen]

And one more:

My ex-husband's cousin married a wonderful gal. Really, nobody could see anything wrong with this woman. She was kind, educated, compassionate, stable, came from a stable home, was very devoted to her husband and looking forward to having children. The cousin is a peach, very devoted to her, had a great job, nice house, calm stable upbringing, good values. They were the perfect match.

Then one day we get the call that she had begun an affair with some guy she met through work, had run off with him, and was now using drugs and drinking heavily.

Good God woman. Any more horror stories? I'll begin spying on my husband tonight.

 

[pixiegirl]

From my own personal experience, some women don't necessarily choose a poor mate - their husband *becomes* a poor mate. You can choose a guy who is terrific, stable and a good family man, then they kirk out and start doing stupid things to wreck the family.

My own experience PLUS:

A friend whose husband couldn't take the job pressure, so he got hooked on crack.

My DIL's father who decided life was passing him by, so he ran off with some 20 year old chickie.

And there are countless others. It's not always that the woman made a bad choice. People change. And, yeah, sometimes you can see the train wreck coming from miles away, but not always.

I don't buy that theory. I believe that people in fact do change but they are who they are at the core. And I believe that neither of your examples are valid. The DILs father... If he's old enough that you're making a big deal out of him running off with a 20 year old than I have to assume his children for the most part have reached the age of majority and should be supporting themselves or are very close to that age if there were multipule children.

The crackhead... I don't believe that ANYONE is that mentally unstable and there are NO warning signs. Denial is different that the signs not being there.

You're right that it's not always the woman who makes the poor choice but the choice to bring a child into this world that she alone can not take care of is very much a poor choice. I never claimed that and helping hand was not warranted but long term support by the gov't is inexcusable.

 

[vraiblonde]

Good God woman. Any more horror stories? I'll begin spying on my husband tonight.

I guess you just take a chance and hope for the best.

But you can't predict the future. Another friend's father died, leaving her mother with four young children to care for and no insurance tohelp them out. Stuff happens.

 

[pixiegirl]

I guess the mom should just give up the kids that she can't afford. That'll help- let's let the taxpayers pay for children of the state. MUCH BETTER. Oh, and you say "give them up"...how many moms who love their kids would do that??!! And who the f**k is going to take 4 kids?! Just shut up while you're ahead.

How about another . I LOVE my kids enough that if I was unable to provide for them for an extended period of time that I would in face give them up so that they would not have to suffer for my poor choices. Too many children suffer for the poor choices of their parents. And news flash biatch; I'm about to take 6 kids so kiss my ass!

 

[vraiblonde]

The crackhead... I don't believe that ANYONE is that mentally unstable and there are NO warning signs. Denial is different that the signs not being there.

Believe it. We knew him and saw the change. He never even smoked pot in high school, stopped at 3 beers, no substance abuse problems at all ever. Then one day he decided to "try" cocaine to help him "deal with his job pressure". Moved on to crack shortly after and that was the end.

 

[jenbengen]

I guess you just take a chance and hope for the best.

But you can't predict the future. Another friend's father died, leaving her mother with four young children to care for and no insurance tohelp them out. Stuff happens.

Yup. I agree. Life happens, whether you are prepared for it or not.

 

[pixiegirl]

I guess you just take a chance and hope for the best.

But you can't predict the future. Another friend's father died, leaving her mother with four young children to care for and no insurance tohelp them out. Stuff happens.

No insurance = a poor choice.

 

[pixiegirl]

Food for thought- 04-25-2007 02:39 PM STFU tard

I'm the tard??? Seems as though I'm not the one having babies I can't take care of. :shrug:

 

[jenbengen]

No insurance = a poor choice.

Having this conversation with pixie=poor choice

 

[vraiblonde]

The DILs father... If he's old enough that you're making a big deal out of him running off with a 20 year old than I have to assume his children for the most part have reached the age of majority and should be supporting themselves or are very close to that age if there were multipule children.

They were young teenagers - 13 and 15.

The Mom - get this - actually waited until she was in her late-20s to get married because she didn't want to make any impulsive marital mistakes.

 

[pixiegirl]

I guess you just take a chance and hope for the best.

But you can't predict the future. Another friend's father died, leaving her mother with four young children to care for and no insurance tohelp them out. Stuff happens.

Absolutely not... You hope for the best but prepare for the worst! Raising children should NEVER be a game of chance.

 

[vraiblonde]

No insurance = a poor choice.

This was a long time ago and life insurance wasn't prevalent back then.

Pixie, not everything is cut and dried, black and white. And it's not always a "poor choice". Like I said, people change.

 

[jenbengen]

Absolutely not... You hope for the best but prepare for the worst! Raising children should NEVER be a game of chance.

LIFE is a game of chance. You've been smoking a bit too much of the pixie dust. Let's just agree to disagree, huh?

 

[vraiblonde]

Raising children should NEVER be a game of chance.

It shouldn't be, but it is. Relationships in general are a game of chance because, as someone wise once said, it only takes one of you to screw it up for everyone.

 

[pixiegirl]

They were young teenagers - 13 and 15.

The Mom - get this - actually waited until she was in her late-20s to get married because she didn't want to make any impulsive marital mistakes.

So with children that age was the mother working? If not, why unless the family was wealthy and in that case there should have certainly been assets to cash in on to support her family.