The UK Daily Mail ran a very odd story yesterday headlined, “
Paris is hit by a 'power blackout', claim social media users.” What? Which was it? A blackout, or social media “claims?” A smattering of media covered the story, and bizarrely, while not denying it happened, they all reported widespread power outages in the French capital as “unconfirmed.”
Unconfirmed? Just when you think the media can’t get any more moronic, they come up with something like this. How many reporters do you suppose are in Paris
right now to cover the games? How is it possible for a major world city, the location of the 33rd Summer Olympics, to have an “unconfirmed” power outage?
Well, it is
Paris we are talking about. So, maybe. But which is weirder? A city-wide power-outage right after the irreverent Olympic organizers were practically begging for a lightning bolt? Or that the unholy media
can’t confirm whether it happened?
Apart from the mysterious, unconfirmable power outage, what
was confirmed was a whole lot of Olympic-sized misfortune. First, torrential rain spoiled lots of outdoor Olympic events (including the godless opening ceremonies). One fan, Marc Hobes, 25, who lives in Paris and eats croissants like they’re going out of style, said, “This is not typical weather. For a tennis fan like me, this is very bad luck and also for Paris.”
It
could be ‘bad luck,’ and not Divine Justice. According to the Mail, the torrential downpour caused all sorts of problems, like in the cycling events, with several
competitors crashing on the capital’s slick streets.
Here’s another one, in a short video clip:
Biblical downpours and crashing cyclists were not even close to all the bad luck infecting the ceremonies. The New York Times ran a story yesterday headlined, “
More Trains, but Few Answers, After Railway Sabotage in France.” Apparently, unidentified arsonists —probably
Russians— attacked France’s high-speed rail network early Friday, paralyzing travel to Paris from across Europe for over 800,000 people, including many Olympic athletes who’d been heading to the controversial grand opening ceremony, but couldn’t get there in time, providentially rescued from the wicked, eyeball-searing show.
But wait! There’s more. In perhaps
the most ironic headline of all, from the Wall Street Journal:
“Pollution” is a nice way of saying the Seine became a river of sh… dung. Dangerously high
e-coli levels precluded anyone sane from getting anywhere near the water, although anecdotal reports suggested Kamala Harris was seen gaily splashing around. But I can’t confirm that either.
Outraged social media gangs drew a line straight from the sacrilegious opening ceremonies to all the
bad luck, including baffling railway sabotage, ‘unconfirmed’ city-wide blackouts, execrable river conditions, and Noahic weather. I
think there is a whole chapter in the Book of Revelation about that.
Anyway. I’m not
saying anything. I report, you decide.
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