Pete
Repete
9:56 Saturday at Cedar Point golf course the four competitors began play at the first annual “SOMDonline Kahuna Classic Invitational Golf Tournament”. Despite withering heat the playing conditions were excellent.
Play commenced with Larry, Otter and Pete tied after the first hole and Airgasm within striking distance 2 strokes back. Play continued with Otter shooting birdie on the 460 yard par 5 seventh and pars on the par 3 third and the par 4 fifth. Unfortunately a slight case of shankariliac fever overcame Otter, triple bogeying the par 3 sixth and the double bogeys on 4 and 9 and it was not enough to stay off the consistent sound play of Pete who carded 2 pars, 6 bogeys and only 1 double bogey on the par 3 sixth hole when he found the sand trap, came out of the sand into the rough and then crossed the green again. At the end of 9 holes Pete lead Otter by 1 with Larry still within striking distance 5 strokes back and Airgasm gasping for air 10 strokes back.
At the turn play resumed after a brief break with Pete continuing strong play stringing 3 pars, 5 bogeys and only 1 double bogey. After a strong par on #10 Larry began to fade in the stifling heat rolling a string of 6 consecutive double bogeys, but he had a really cool hat and looked great doing it. Larry smashed some incredible drives one ball reportedly screaming in fear as it was launched 280 yards. Otter’s shankariliac fever came back periodically, triggered by the heat, lack of Miller Lite and a bird attack by a heat ravaged sparrow, triple bogeying the par 3 eleventh, and doubling 12, 13, 14, but correcting somewhat to came back with bogeys the rest of the way. Despite Pete’s attempt at a “Golf demon be gone” dance around Airgasm he continued to struggle with some brief shining moments like the ……..well I can’t think of any right now but he did have some good shots. Reports of the Department of Natural Resources citing Airgasm for cruelty to fish by harassing them with tee shots into the water are false.
In the end it was a game of consistency, guts and stamina with Pete inflicting a serious ass whoopin on the 3 challengers, outpacing Otter by 8, Larry by 11 and Airgasm by……well lets just say “a lot”, by scoring a season best score of 87 and becoming the first player to be the SOMDonline Kahuna Classic Invitational Champ.
Post tournament awards included:
Panama Jack, Best dressed golfer : Larry Gude
Poulan Chainsaw; “I hit a tree and it tossed it into the middle of the fairway because I am a lucky ba$tard Award”: Otter
Nike; “Don’t give up, you keep us in business by losing golf balls” Award: Airgasm
Cobra Golf Clubs “Put the damn fairway wood away and use the 4 iron you idiot Award : Pete
Degree anti-persperant: Dude you really, really stink award: 4 way tie
Play commenced with Larry, Otter and Pete tied after the first hole and Airgasm within striking distance 2 strokes back. Play continued with Otter shooting birdie on the 460 yard par 5 seventh and pars on the par 3 third and the par 4 fifth. Unfortunately a slight case of shankariliac fever overcame Otter, triple bogeying the par 3 sixth and the double bogeys on 4 and 9 and it was not enough to stay off the consistent sound play of Pete who carded 2 pars, 6 bogeys and only 1 double bogey on the par 3 sixth hole when he found the sand trap, came out of the sand into the rough and then crossed the green again. At the end of 9 holes Pete lead Otter by 1 with Larry still within striking distance 5 strokes back and Airgasm gasping for air 10 strokes back.
At the turn play resumed after a brief break with Pete continuing strong play stringing 3 pars, 5 bogeys and only 1 double bogey. After a strong par on #10 Larry began to fade in the stifling heat rolling a string of 6 consecutive double bogeys, but he had a really cool hat and looked great doing it. Larry smashed some incredible drives one ball reportedly screaming in fear as it was launched 280 yards. Otter’s shankariliac fever came back periodically, triggered by the heat, lack of Miller Lite and a bird attack by a heat ravaged sparrow, triple bogeying the par 3 eleventh, and doubling 12, 13, 14, but correcting somewhat to came back with bogeys the rest of the way. Despite Pete’s attempt at a “Golf demon be gone” dance around Airgasm he continued to struggle with some brief shining moments like the ……..well I can’t think of any right now but he did have some good shots. Reports of the Department of Natural Resources citing Airgasm for cruelty to fish by harassing them with tee shots into the water are false.
In the end it was a game of consistency, guts and stamina with Pete inflicting a serious ass whoopin on the 3 challengers, outpacing Otter by 8, Larry by 11 and Airgasm by……well lets just say “a lot”, by scoring a season best score of 87 and becoming the first player to be the SOMDonline Kahuna Classic Invitational Champ.
Post tournament awards included:
Panama Jack, Best dressed golfer : Larry Gude
Poulan Chainsaw; “I hit a tree and it tossed it into the middle of the fairway because I am a lucky ba$tard Award”: Otter
Nike; “Don’t give up, you keep us in business by losing golf balls” Award: Airgasm
Cobra Golf Clubs “Put the damn fairway wood away and use the 4 iron you idiot Award : Pete
Degree anti-persperant: Dude you really, really stink award: 4 way tie
That's good K!
Thanks for keeping us posted.