Help me think of a good punishment
- Thread starter Misfit
- Start date
Well, that's not true. My son was a dismal student and he has a terrific career and makes a pisspot of money.
Why is he getting Ds, Misfit?
Misfit
Lawful neutral
That's pretty good...Mrs. Misfit wants them to do labor like work in the yard, poop shoveling, tilling the garden, weed pulling, and rock collecting.
Tilted
..
For D's on report cards...
Are these your children? And if so, do you do stuff for them - like, wash their clothes, fix them meals, drive them places?
If so to the second question, then start giving them a D effort with regard to those things and make the point that, hey, this is what a D effort gets you - if that's all you can manage, maybe it's all I can manage. So, e.g., your food, well maybe it won't be so great anymore - still cold on the inside, I didn't cook it long enough. Your clothes, well, sorry they're still kinda smelly, I might not have followed all the steps needed to get them clean. You're late to the movies, sorry, I didn't put much effort into making sure I left on time, so, you know, we got here a little late.
EDIT: For the record though, I'm not real big on the whole 'they gotta get good grades' notion.
Misfit
Lawful neutral
According to liberty&tyranny's thread it's because I help them with their homework.
ICit
Jam out with ur clam out
ok... so some kids will do well...
migtig
aka Mrs. Giant
Ds - grounded until next report card - no friends, no phone, no tv, no computer other than for school studies. No sports, no clubs, nothing. A set specific time where they sit at the kitchen table and do nothing but study. If that means they eat late, then they need to nuke their dinner. No allowance. No shopping. No games. No new clothes. Nothing fun at all, until the grade is acceptable. :shrug: But you've both got to stick to the no fun thing.
I was grounded like that once. Once.
I was grounded like that once. Once.
According to liberty&tyranny's thread it's because I help them with their homework.
Then perhaps you should have paid attention better in school so your kids won't get bad grades.
Are they getting enough lobster?
They'll never do it again, that's for sure.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
For D's on report cards...
Why punish? What's the goal here and how does it relate to grades in school?
Most of the rich guys I know were not exactly the best students.
*edit* and some of the worst people I know were great students in school.
Life skills > school skills
This_person
Well-Known Member
I agree with Larry's question "what's the goal?" Iron can't be educated to gold. Perhaps the class is simply beyond the child's comprehension.
Evaluate why the poor grade was received - the performance of the child. Tailor your reaction to address the behavior you don't want. Don't stress the grade but rather stress the effort.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
C
czygvtwkr
Guest
Problem is a whole lot use that as a reason to not put any effort forth. The succesful people became successful in spite of it not because of it.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
I suppose that depends on your definition of success. One of the keys of life, in my view, is figuring out what is important and what is not. Vrai's boy is a perfect example. He has a life we are both absurdly happy about and the only person happier is him, and he absolutely did not go about things as we would have preferred. What he did do, and this was early on, was, have a good sense of who he was as a person, right and wrong, and figured out how to get things to work. What was important and what was bull####. An enormous part of schooling is, for all practical purposes, bull#### unless you're going to specialize in 'it'; English, sciences, math.
Now, I will say this much; his mother stressed out about it every single day and pretty much spent from his 13th birthday to his 16th, maybe 17th, trying to find good reasons to not kill him as an obligation to protect the rest of society. His first venture into the land of the Honor Roll damn near killed her for the shock and sense of relief. He did it, big whoop, moved on, acing the stuff he enjoyed (not much) and getting by in the rest, choosing to go work after school instead of stressing and obsessing over the SAT/ACT, book report, resume building crap 'success path' that we expect of our kids.
So, maybe that is the key, the day to day brawl of trying to convince the kid that what is really never going to be important, like 11th grade English, actually is, thereby giving him the chance to pretend to care while actually figuring out how to work the system?
Success is a mind set. Not a GPA.
withrespect
:wr:
struggler44
A Salute to all on Watch
MMDad
Lem Putt
Larry inadvertantly made a good point here. Never punish, only discipline. Punishment connotates vengeance. The goal should be to motivate them not to repeat the behavior. Treat them like dogs - they aren't really that much different.
For my daughter, taking away her phone is effective.