gothicsorrow78
New Member
Ok here is the thing, i love this guy more than anything in the world. I would walk through the fire pits of hell to prove to him that i loved and still love him. He swears up and down that he loves me and whatnot but now we are apart and it is killing me. I miss him so much. We have a daughter together. I believe kid's need both parents. I am so tired of having three kid's without two parents in the house. Now here is the situation, he is bipolar not on meds, i have borderline personality disorder and we both are sorta a mess. We fought all the time. We just started couples counsleing and then three weeks into it we ended up breaking up. We got into this huge fight and he broke some stuff then came to me crying telling me how much he loved me and how desperate he was for us to change. Well one week later we got into this huge fight that got very physical now for months when i was pregnant it got like this.
I was mainly to blame for this. I am now enrolled in therapy and anger management and have asked to be on meds. I left the house that night pissed of and not thinking correctly, i went to his aunts in a daze and told her i was calling the cops she said go to the hospital, so i did. I was so dazed and confused i should not have been driving. I wish i had never done it, going to the hospital and all becasue i cried and begged them not to call the police but they said they had no choice. I was pretty f**** stupid that night. I love this man so much and i am now getting help for all my issues. He says he still loves me, he thinks i want to take our daughter away from him and it isn't true. Now in court he could not even look at me. I could only cry. I have been crying so much now.
I lost something so very dear to me and it is all my fault. I would do anything and i mean anything to be a family with this man again. I have lied to him on the most stupid thing's and i have hurt him so many times. He thought i actually cheated on him and i did not ever do any such thing. I said some thing's to my ex husband such as i still loved him and whatnot. I am a very sentimental person and i should not have said it when it was not true what i should have said was that i still cared.
He has forced me to face who i am and forced me to finally face the thing's that i want. I bcause of him basically handing my butt to me on a silver platter and saying here look at what you have done, i have grown in many ways. I have a long road ahead of me but he is worth all the effort.
I am not excactly sure what to do as far as trying to prove to him my love is genuine and i repent for the thing's i have done but is there anyway anyone can suggest to help me out????
You must understand this man i am so inlove with is a hard person to get to, he when pissed is a cold and caculating person with not much regard for how another might feel. I know how very angry he is with me and i truly from the bottom of my soul regret all i have done. I never wanted this to end up this way. I wish to god i could have the chance to show him and to prove to him i can do everything he has asked me to do.
He asked me to
1. Get cousenling (which i am going now)
2. Anger managment (doing now also)
3. finally face who i am.... (WORKING ON)
I was not the best GF in the world i know that. I lied,and was untrustworthy. But he used to always say why do you treat me so good,why do you do so much for me. I loved him that is why. I should not have lied over the dumb small stuff.
How can you show someone you are changing and you would do anything they asked if given the chance if they are not willing to listen at this time.
He wants permant custody of our baby, he says i am unstable... yes on some things i am. Others no. I can take care of her as well. If he loved me once can't he try once more????
Please somone help me , my soul is broken and so is my will and my heart!!!
I have honestly never felt a pain this deep in my entire life. I would stay in this county,marry him,give him a son and "serve" him for all eternity if he would only give me one last chance to prove myself to him.
Evn if he took me back i would continue with the therapy and what not.
I have this obbsession with johnny depp.... my stuff with him means alot to me shoot ven to prove how serious i was about changing who i am and growing i would make a bonfire out in the yard with everything from my past to prove i am ready to face up to reality and face him as a mate and say yes i am closing these doors to my past and i am ready for the future.
How many people can say they could actually do that for someone?? I know he is the only one for me and i know my life belongs to him. He is my one true love and i would die for him. A long time ago i could never say that but i realize now when you have true love you would die for that person. I feel kinda like a empty shell walking around pretending to be happy on the outside. Help anyone someone please.......
I was mainly to blame for this. I am now enrolled in therapy and anger management and have asked to be on meds. I left the house that night pissed of and not thinking correctly, i went to his aunts in a daze and told her i was calling the cops she said go to the hospital, so i did. I was so dazed and confused i should not have been driving. I wish i had never done it, going to the hospital and all becasue i cried and begged them not to call the police but they said they had no choice. I was pretty f**** stupid that night. I love this man so much and i am now getting help for all my issues. He says he still loves me, he thinks i want to take our daughter away from him and it isn't true. Now in court he could not even look at me. I could only cry. I have been crying so much now.
I lost something so very dear to me and it is all my fault. I would do anything and i mean anything to be a family with this man again. I have lied to him on the most stupid thing's and i have hurt him so many times. He thought i actually cheated on him and i did not ever do any such thing. I said some thing's to my ex husband such as i still loved him and whatnot. I am a very sentimental person and i should not have said it when it was not true what i should have said was that i still cared.
He has forced me to face who i am and forced me to finally face the thing's that i want. I bcause of him basically handing my butt to me on a silver platter and saying here look at what you have done, i have grown in many ways. I have a long road ahead of me but he is worth all the effort.
I am not excactly sure what to do as far as trying to prove to him my love is genuine and i repent for the thing's i have done but is there anyway anyone can suggest to help me out????
You must understand this man i am so inlove with is a hard person to get to, he when pissed is a cold and caculating person with not much regard for how another might feel. I know how very angry he is with me and i truly from the bottom of my soul regret all i have done. I never wanted this to end up this way. I wish to god i could have the chance to show him and to prove to him i can do everything he has asked me to do.
He asked me to
1. Get cousenling (which i am going now)
2. Anger managment (doing now also)
3. finally face who i am.... (WORKING ON)
I was not the best GF in the world i know that. I lied,and was untrustworthy. But he used to always say why do you treat me so good,why do you do so much for me. I loved him that is why. I should not have lied over the dumb small stuff.
How can you show someone you are changing and you would do anything they asked if given the chance if they are not willing to listen at this time.
He wants permant custody of our baby, he says i am unstable... yes on some things i am. Others no. I can take care of her as well. If he loved me once can't he try once more????
Please somone help me , my soul is broken and so is my will and my heart!!!
I have honestly never felt a pain this deep in my entire life. I would stay in this county,marry him,give him a son and "serve" him for all eternity if he would only give me one last chance to prove myself to him.
Evn if he took me back i would continue with the therapy and what not.
I have this obbsession with johnny depp.... my stuff with him means alot to me shoot ven to prove how serious i was about changing who i am and growing i would make a bonfire out in the yard with everything from my past to prove i am ready to face up to reality and face him as a mate and say yes i am closing these doors to my past and i am ready for the future.
How many people can say they could actually do that for someone?? I know he is the only one for me and i know my life belongs to him. He is my one true love and i would die for him. A long time ago i could never say that but i realize now when you have true love you would die for that person. I feel kinda like a empty shell walking around pretending to be happy on the outside. Help anyone someone please.......
:trainwreckinprogressbutIcan'tlookaway:
all over her house. ...And yes, she kisses it!