Home Wreckers

SoMDGirl42

Well-Known Member
SO? I am not familiar with that term. I have never been on a chat. I thought I'd try it since this is anonymous and I would be embarassed to admit these things -- especially since the (insert any nasty term you want here) is actually fat and ugly. Maybe i'd feel better if she was good looking?:doh: or at least see why? I'm just trying to figure this all out. Little help please?

SO = significant other (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife)

For some reason they go for the fat, ugly ones. I think they are the ones that are desparate enough to build the husbands ego. They need to be told they are GOD. They are wonderful. They are perfect. The fat ugly ones tell them that. We just tell them to STFU and they are human.
 

signora

New Member
SO = significant other (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife)

For some reason they go for the fat, ugly ones. I think they are the ones that are desparate enough to build the husbands ego. They need to be told they are GOD. They are wonderful. They are perfect. The fat ugly ones tell them that. We just tell them to STFU and they are human.

I don't know how you came up with this logic, but think your wrong. Cheating happens and it applies to all types of people whether they are pretty, ugly, skinny or fat. When a spouse and/or SO cheats, it's not always just for sex they are looking for - usually something is lacking in their relationship like communication, affection, etc. so they feel the need to go elsewhere for it. I'm not saying it's right because in many ways I feel if you have to go elsewhere then it's better to end the marriage/relationship because it avoids, the lies, hurt, sneaking around, etc. But that's just my opinion and know everybody's situation is different and how they handle things.
 

godsbutterfly

Free to Fly
SO? I am not familiar with that term. I have never been on a chat. I thought I'd try it since this is anonymous and I would be embarassed to admit these things -- especially since the (insert any nasty term you want here) is actually fat and ugly. Maybe i'd feel better if she was good looking?:doh: or at least see why? I'm just trying to figure this all out. Little help please?

I never understood it either. My ex would bring his new "conquests" to the kids' programs at school or the church and people thought it made me feel better for them to tell me how much better looking or easier to talk to etc. I was than the person he was with but it didn't. It just leads to more questions in your mind that you can't answer. It's better IMO for them to say nothing. You'll probably never really figure it out. It's been several years and a new marriage for me and I still haven't figured it out. Ironically enough my ex says he hasn't figured it out either. He says it wasn't about the sex and he doesn't know exactly what it was about. If he doesn't know I sure don't!
 

Etred101

New Member
My husband was stupid and deceiptful, i was stupid and we have to work through it.... But the more i find out, the more i feel like an idiot for trusting this friend. ..... I thought everything was fine but when i found the text with the 'love' business i was devistated.
Stand up girl. There is NO reason for you to judge yourself so harshly. You have a lot to give.... you have a lot to do.
 
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goodfriend11

New Member
I am trying - I even cleaned the house today. I feel like I want to go into combat and slay the OW but it wasn't jsut her, it was his decision too. but after he and I have talked, over the phone, it was just so obvious...
 
K

kris31280

Guest
I am trying - I even cleaned the house today. I feel like I want to go into combat and slay the OW but it wasn't jsut her, it was his decision too. but after he and I have talked, over the phone, it was just so obvious...
I'll be the first person to tell you I don't believe in divorce... so bonus points for you in keeping an open dialogue with your husband.

However, no matter how doggedly this "fat chick" pursued your husband, he obviously felt there was something good enough there to go outside your marriage and find, only to realize that it wasn't one of his best ideas.

It takes two to tango... it's not like he just slipped and fell in to her vajayjay, "oh honey, I accidently cheated!"

Figure out why he cheated, and if there's something truly worth saving within the marriage.
 

Phina

New Member
I'll be the first person to tell you I don't believe in divorce... so bonus points for you in keeping an open dialogue with your husband.

However, no matter how doggedly this "fat chick" pursued your husband, he obviously felt there was something good enough there to go outside your marriage and find, only to realize that it wasn't one of his best ideas.

It takes two to tango... it's not like he just slipped and fell in to her vajayjay, "oh honey, I accidently cheated!"

Figure out why he cheated, and if there's something truly worth saving within the marriage.

I agree with the one line. If you are married and pursued by someone you have no interest in, it won't phase you. Some guys go out of their way to avoid the "fat chick" as you call her, just because they know how she is. Some men may humor her, cause they don't want to be rude to her face or hurt her feelings. But the guy that's going to screw her... he was just waiting for the opportunity (meaning the first woman to throw herself at him).
 

goodfriend11

New Member
I agree with the one line. If you are married and pursued by someone you have no interest in, it won't phase you. Some guys go out of their way to avoid the "fat chick" as you call her, just because they know how she is. Some men may humor her, cause they don't want to be rude to her face or hurt her feelings. But the guy that's going to screw her... he was just waiting for the opportunity (meaning the first woman to throw herself at him).

Yes - i am beginning to see it. I thought we were happy and it turns out that I was and he wasn't. He thought i was mechanical while i was proud of being efficient. He says he wasn't happy for a long time and now wants to be evaluated for depression because he can't understand why he did it when, now that he's been out a week, he misses me and our home so much. I alternate between wanting to kick him and being glad that he's thinking and feeling so much about it. Glad I kicked him out though. what's that saying about not knowing what you have until its gone... cheaters are just stupid and irresponsible. maybe he will learn and we will be better a year from now than we were a year ago. I have lost 8 pounds this week though and i have less laundry to do. I appreciate the posts, they are keeping me sane!:biggrin::bonk:
 

Etred101

New Member
Yes - i am beginning to see it. I thought we were happy and it turns out that I was and he wasn't. He thought i was mechanical while i was proud of being efficient. He says he wasn't happy for a long time and now wants to be evaluated for depression because he can't understand why he did it when, now that he's been out a week, he misses me and our home so much. I alternate between wanting to kick him and being glad that he's thinking and feeling so much about it. Glad I kicked him out though. what's that saying about not knowing what you have until its gone... cheaters are just stupid and irresponsible. maybe he will learn and we will be better a year from now than we were a year ago. I have lost 8 pounds this week though and i have less laundry to do. I appreciate the posts, they are keeping me sane!:biggrin::bonk:
That's my girl! Hang in there. :smile:
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Yes - i am beginning to see it. I thought we were happy and it turns out that I was and he wasn't. He thought i was mechanical while i was proud of being efficient. He says he wasn't happy for a long time and now wants to be evaluated for depression because he can't understand why he did it when, now that he's been out a week, he misses me and our home so much. I alternate between wanting to kick him and being glad that he's thinking and feeling so much about it. Glad I kicked him out though. what's that saying about not knowing what you have until its gone... cheaters are just stupid and irresponsible. maybe he will learn and we will be better a year from now than we were a year ago. I have lost 8 pounds this week though and i have less laundry to do. I appreciate the posts, they are keeping me sane!

Guys are a pain in the ass. They're "grass is greener" types, which isn't to say women aren't that way but it seems more prevalent in the "hunter/gatherers". If you're efficient, they complain that you're like a Mom and it's not sexy. If you're more laid back, they complain that you're a slob and wish you were more like their Mom.

:rolleyes:

I've said this before, that men are like puppies: praise them when they do good, smack them on the ass with a rolled up newspaper when they do bad. Don't even try to figure them out or you'll just go crazy.
 
E

(((echo)))

Guest
Guys are a pain in the ass. They're "grass is greener" types, which isn't to say women aren't that way but it seems more prevalent in the "hunter/gatherers". If you're efficient, they complain that you're like a Mom and it's not sexy. If you're more laid back, they complain that you're a slob and wish you were more like their Mom.

:rolleyes:

I've said this before, that men are like puppies: praise them when they do good, smack them on the ass with a rolled up newspaper when they do bad. Don't even try to figure them out or you'll just go crazy.

are you kidding?
we are the easiest creatures in the world! somone allready posted earlier about it...something about erections and sandwiches :lol:
 
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