My husband was stupid and deceiptful, i was stupid and we have to work through it. He has come clean with details and we have seperated for now, but are talking openly about it. yes, his deceipt and lies are to blame. But the more i find out, the more i feel like an idiot for trusting this friend. I included her and her children in our family activities because i felt sorry for her. She used things i said about my relationship with my husband to get closer to him - I thought everything was fine but when i found the text with the 'love' business i was devistated. as far as her husband - I have a friend getting the middle east contact info for me to send stuff to her husband because she has already been to Navy Legal to find out how much money she can get and how fast she can get a divorce.