I know EXACTLY what you are going through, I have been there, and believe me, the people here have NO IDEA what this is REALLY all about.
Until someone's LIFE is literly in the balance, they will NEVER understand the anguish you are going through, and the fear for those you love, can destroy your heart in seconds.
First, you will not be tossed out of your home for quite some time, so back off of that fear, for at least a few more months. When it creaps in, smack it back and tell it to shut up! You need a clear mind to deal with this, so take charge of your own thoughts NOW.
Consider that you may indeed have to move one day. Face it, and decide now, that if that is the case, you will make it through it, and will be better for it. I SWEAR TO YOU, YOU WILL BE, HONEST!
Most importantly, make yourself not freek out, it only damages you, and it will ruin the conversations with anyone you talk to when you are job searching.
Take everything you feel now, and think now, and for the sake of your success, you need to make it a "small thing" that you KNOW you will work out. Cry when you need to, scream when you need to, and when you are done, put it in a box, stash it in a drawer and LEAVE IT THERE UNTIL ANOTHER TIME YOU NEED TO CRY.
With $800.00 you have enough to eat and pay your electric bill, you are in great shape.
I had 3 people in a one room motel, living on $277.00 a week and $140.00 of that was the motel. $137.00 a week to feed 3 not including my husbands medication, which without it, he would die! All totaled, we had $121.00 a week to live on, and I thank the Lord my husband had prescription drug coverage and our part was only $16.00.
I lived in a Gorgeous home in Waldorf, and my husband made great money, we put our entire life, and our retirement money into our home, and in 1 day, we were ruined by his heart surgery, and multiple mini strokes. LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS FARE, AND IT WAS NOT OUR FAULT EITHER. You are not to blame for what happened, and you know that, so pick yourself up and don't ever argue that again.
Eventually I was out in the cold, and homeless, and for those who do not have to actually face that, they have not ONE CLUE about what this is like for us.
You will live through this, and the first step is............
Decide now that whatever tomorrow brings you, you will take it, and be thankful that you are all together, and safe. It's the first step in getting the worry of being homeless out of your head. So.... whatever the future is, ....So be it!
With that under your belt, you can now use your real brain to make the right decisions, but you can not continue to think like you used to. What was, is not anymore. Consider it done. Where you are going is your current path. You are not who you were, and nothing will be the same. Where your path takes you will be better than where you are now.
Your trying to make things like they used to be, and that will hurt you in the end. You already know what an impossible situation you are in, so GIVE IT UP FOR THE SAKE OF BEING IN YOUR NEW REAL WORLD, AND ABLE TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS.
You may not know for a month or two what direction you are headed in, but it will show up, I promise you.
It's not easy, and you will cry, you will miss your Christmasses and what you had, but where you are going is where your eyes HAVE TO BE RIGHT NOW.
No, I'm not telling you what department you need to go to, but I am telling you where your head and heart needs to be for you to get through this, and that is what is number one right now.
You do need a job, and your frustration is showing. You are more than able to do a good job, that is obvious, so ACT like it, and leave the frustration at the door. You don't need it, your kids don't need it, and your husband doesn't either. So, if you have a copy of an old credit report, you need to take it with you to a job interview. Be direct, and tell them that you are including it ONLY BECAUSE OF YOURS, AND YOUR HUSBANDS CURRENT UNEMPLOYMENT, AND THE MESS IT'S MADE OF YOUR CURRENT REPORT.
Stop the explaining, don't feel guilty, they don't want to hear it, and you need to be someone that they want to hire, not someone that is telling them your troubles. Not good.
I would suggest that you do one small thing, it isn't easy, but DO IT.
Take no less than $50.00 and put it away, even if it means you don't eat.
You will need it sooner or later. It is your hidden stash, it will remind you that you are NOT BROKE, you can get ahead, and that you CAN do it.
It's also a way to come up with deposits and things, if you need them later.
Last, if you do become homeless, you can count on me to help.
I may have little to offer, but it is there for you. You will have a roof over your head, and something to eat.
There is nothing in this world that is worse than knowing your family is under the threat of being homeless and maybe without food.
Forget trying to save what was, and RUN to what is to come, whatever it is.
I'm out of debt, have property I'm going to build on this fall, and just purchased the property next to mine for planting my veggies on.
We came from living in a basement, and then in a one room motel, to having no debt at all, and no mortgage.
I would not change what happened to me for anything.
Priorities get changed, life changes, and it can be a good thing.
You will get a job, you are more than qualified, and many want someone like you, or did you forget that? Hang on, and keep at it.
You will know what to do when it is time. What you are doing right now is not just frustration, but is teaching you things you will know forever, so it's not for nothing, and when this country is in the pits, and a lot more are dealing with what you are facing, you will already be out of it.
Learning to bend is a hard thing, Don't be rigid, don't expect things to be as they were, the branch that bends, doesn't break, it thrives.
I pray that you fight the good fight, and that you hang on, this is NOT the end, it's a new beginning.
Your new direction is already here, relax and watch it unfold.