I could use some input ....

[twobit]

You have a contract with the mother and/or father, right? That's who you need to be discussing this with

Good point

 

[Nanny Pam]

You have a contract with the mother and/or father, right? That's who you need to be discussing this with, and let them approach the grandmother. Explain to her that your wits end and if you can't come to some kind of agreement/understanding, you'll have to use the contract and terminate your care for her daughter.

I have tried this several times. The mother always blames the grandparents. they all live together.

 

[mAlice]

I have tried this several times. The mother always blames the grandparents. they all live together.

I'd tell her that the contract isn't with the grandparents and you really don't care who's at fault.

 

[DoWhat]

Did the beatings work for you?

Yes.
My Mommy would grab my hair and bang my head on the wall.
Then tell me, "What till your father gets home".

 

[mAlice]

I have tried this several times. The mother always blames the grandparents. they all live together.

This also sounds like you're making excuses and looking for an easy way out of a situation that has great potential to become ugly. You have to stand by your contract, or people will walk all over you. This is a business. Treat it like one. Friends come and go. True friends don't take advantage and disrespect your wishes in a situation like this.

 

[Nanny Pam]

Well, NP, I think that as a childcare professional, you have the right to determine what you serve the children while they are in your care. Since the parents sign a contract and are aware of your nutritional "practices," I would REMIND them that "junk food" is not something that is a common practice in your daycare. You could lessen the blow by taking Chasey's suggestion of bringing good snacks for everyone or even say that you would welcome small candy treats or cupcakes for a special occasion, birthday..Valentine's Day..that type of thing.

We do have cake on birthdays. We also celebrate V-day, with carob candies.

It looks like I have to dismiss this child. Maybe in my heart I knew this. After seeing all of this in print it has come into perspective, I guess. :sad: But I really love her and as always, most of my problems come from the parents, not the kids.

 

[Nanny Pam]

This also sounds like you're making excuses and looking for an easy way out of a situation that has great potential to become ugly. You have to stand by your contract, or people will walk all over you. This is a business. Treat it like one. Friends come and go. True friends don't take advantage and disrespect your wishes in a situation like this.

You are more right than you know!
I am making excuses because I saw this child from birth. A drug addicted child that actually died a couple times.
This child was in my care when I actually saved her life performing CPR on her when she stopped breathing.
Jeses, help me....this is so hard.

 

[cattitude]

We do have cake on birthdays. We also celebrate V-day, with carob candies.

It looks like I have to dismiss this child. Maybe in my heart I knew this. After seeing all of this in print it has come into perspective, I guess. :sad: But I really love her and as always, most of my problems come from the parents, not the kids.

See, us old ladies have a problem. We don't always approve of how kids are raised these days and then get attached to the kids and want to "raise" them like we think they should be raised..trouble is, they aren't ours. So we have to keep our mouths shut until asked. I'd make a terrible daycare provider. I'm not even a good grandma, I have to bite my tongue quite often. But this is your job..so you have to be tough.

 

[mAlice]

You are more right than you know!
I am making excuses because I saw this child from birth. A drug addicted child that actually died a couple times.
This child was in my care when I actually saved her life performing CPR on her when she stopped breathing.
Jeses, help me....this is so hard.

Good luck.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

We do have cake on birthdays. We also celebrate V-day, with carob candies.

It looks like I have to dismiss this child. Maybe in my heart I knew this. After seeing all of this in print it has come into perspective, I guess. :sad: But I really love her and as always, most of my problems come from the parents, not the kids.

My opinion; before dismissing the child you should try talking to the grandparents one last time. I agree from the earlier posts that you should say the treats are a sharing problem and ask that they not bring them. Parents, grandparents, etc. don't want to hear their child has behavior problems. They'll side for the kid each time. If it still doesn't work, then it's time to give notice, but if you truly love the child, try to work with the parents, it's not her fault.

 

[Sweet 16]

I have tried this several times. The mother always blames the grandparents. they all live together.

I would 'splain to mommy that she's ultimately responsible and SHE needs to 'splain to granny and gramps that sugar may be causing her kid's behavioral issues and to stop feeding the kid sugar for breakfast. You can say it in a way that is not offensive -- you're just concerned about her kid. If it is also a distraction to the other kids, you have the right to lay down the law about what she can and cannot bring with her. If they don't like it, they can go somewhere else. JMHO.

 

[mAlice]

My opinion; before dismissing the child you should try talking to the grandparents one last time. I agree from the earlier posts that you should say the treats are a sharing problem and ask that they not bring them. Parents, grandparents, etc. don't want to hear their child has behavior problems. They'll side for the kid each time. If it still doesn't work, then it's time to give notice, but if you truly love the child, try to work with the parents, it's not her fault.

She already discussed it with the mother several times. How many chances is she supposed to give her?

 

[SoMDGirl42]

She already discussed it with the mother several times. How many chances is she supposed to give her?

When is enough enough? I think that is your question. The only one who can answer is Nanny. However, if she gives notice to the parents and they ask the reason why, I would tell them exactly what the reason is. Maybe shock factor would make them realize she's serious this time, cut out the candy or find new daycare.

 

[mAlice]

When is enough enough? I think that is your question. The only one who can answer is Nanny. However, if she gives notice to the parents and they ask the reason why, I would tell them exactly what the reason is. Maybe shock factor would make them realize she's serious this time, cut out the candy or find new daycare.

 

[Nanny Pam]

Thank you! Everyone was extremely helpful.

 

[crabcake]

Is this R___? Lay the smack down ... in person. Only use the letter as a memo for record should you need it down the road. And let them know that if they can resolve it with the grandparents themselves, you'll be calling her to come pick her up when she's out of control so as to NOT take away from your care for the other kids. It's their decision to do what they want in THEIR house; but it's YOUR decision to handle matters as you see fit in YOUR'S.

 

[vraiblonde]

Hiya, Nanny!

Someone has certainly already said this (haven't read the whole thread) but since you're friendly with the grandparents, why not just give them a call instead of writing a letter? Explain your situation nicely - "I have a favor to ask. I know you like to give little Ermentrude treats, but could you please not send them with her when she comes here, unless there's enough for all the kids? We'd love to have you provide snack on occasion, but it's really not fair to the other children when Ermentrude has treats that they don't. I'm sure you understand. "

:shrug:

 

[Nanny Pam]

Is this R___? Lay the smack down ... in person. Only use the letter as a memo for record should you need it down the road. And let them know that if they can resolve it with the grandparents themselves, you'll be calling her to come pick her up when she's out of control so as to NOT take away from your care for the other kids. It's their decision to do what they want in THEIR house; but it's YOUR decision to handle matters as you see fit in YOUR'S.

Yeah, it's R***
Do you know that it is going on 4 weeks since her hair was combed? She was in Florida for a week of that, too.
I did it the last time. Washed, combed and braided it for them. I am really upset about this entire situation. I guess I'll wash it for her when she gets up from her nap. Poor kid.

 

[Nanny Pam]

Hiya, Nanny!

Someone has certainly already said this (haven't read the whole thread) but since you're friendly with the grandparents, why not just give them a call instead of writing a letter? Explain your situation nicely - "I have a favor to ask. I know you like to give little Ermentrude treats, but could you please not send them with her when she comes here, unless there's enough for all the kids? We'd love to have you provide snack on occasion, but it's really not fair to the other children when Ermentrude has treats that they don't. I'm sure you understand. "

:shrug:

Those are the words I was looking for. See... I am not good at this, as I've said before.

Now....how did you know what her name was??

p.s Thanks!

 

[Christy]

I think your best bet would be to send out a reminder letter to ALL parents regarding sweets and such. That way it gets them the msg, but it isn't directed specifically towards them. Just note that all sweets sent in will be put up and given back to the child when the day is over. :shrug: