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It has come to my attention...
- Thread starter vraiblonde
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Christy
b*tch rocket
Nobody is ever as interested in human behavior as I am.
I am interested, but you're telling me something I already know in some men. :shrug: I don't know from personal experience, just from what a lot of guy friends have told me in the past. Also the way they've behaved. I never could understand why they couldn't just break up with a girl. It just seems like it would be easier and a lot less effort.
Pete
Repete
Because sobbing and suicide threats are a downer?
You're welcome.
I knew some guys did this, I just had no idea it was so widespread. Like when we're learning to put on mascara and shave our legs, they're learning how to maximize their jerkiness to get some woman to run away screaming.
What do they do when it doesn't work? Like, despite their best efforts at being a dick, the woman just won't let go? Maybe the key is to run screaming the second he shows any kind of jerk tendencies?
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Christy
b*tch rocket
Larry Gude
Strung Out
...that it is a quite common practice for men to, when they want to break if off with a woman, be as big of jerks as they can in order to get *her* to break it off with *him*. Instead of simply saying, "Look, Hilda, it's not working out and I'd like us to just be friends and not romantic partners," he'll chicken out and try to piss her off to the point she throws him out. A conscious effort.
Now, I have never known a woman to do this - at least not to where they admitted it or even realized they were doing it. But in my sample polling - four so far - it appears to be fairly standard for men. And all this time I just thought they were simply...jerks. Who knew?
The dishonesty in this is fascinating to me and it seems like an awful lot of work when there is a much simpler solution. Women tend to either A) just come out with it; or B) fade away. But it is also in character with most men I know to do things the hard way instead of shortcut it and get it over with, like women do.
Anyone else think this is an interesting phenomenon?
Interesting. My research has shown that women have a tendency to, when they want out, to slowly but surely, do one thing after another that they know Gunther, keeping with the Bavarian theme, does not approve of.
Oddly, the research shows that they, the women, actually think that by these actions, they are trying to get Gunther to stop behaviors he is responsible for that displeases her. Kind of a 'the beatings shall continue until morale improves' sort of thing. They may well be trying to get him to do one thing but, Gunthers, not being the brightest of the species, often react negatively to this sort of stimulus and do not do as Hilda expected. Or, did he do EXACTLY as she wanted?
In reviewing the cases, it seems the Gunthers tend to become ever more frustrated and, oddly enough, seem to start thinking that the Hilda actually doesn't like him much anymore and that she wants out. To his pea brain, why else would she not only do stuff he doesn't like but, tell him, in no uncertain terms, that she is the way she is, likes herself that way and to bad for Gunther, she ain't changing.
Comparison sampling has also revealed Gunthers indicating their growing unhappiness to Hilda and even, miraculously for any Gunther, being able to not only put their finger on but, communicate to the Hilda precisely what their problem is. There is an evidence trail that leads in three directions here. One is Hilda getting it and trying to work on it it, two is Hilda pretending she didn't hear it and three, Hilda saying, in essence, "Oh, ja, it must a be a sucking to be you, ja?"
Now, admittedly, my sampling is fairly limited but, what the research shows is that the Gunthers tend to find chicken #### ways out because A, they don't want it to end and b, they don't know what else to do. At some point, there are indications that they nuance the whole situation and with deft intellectual mastertery boil the whole thing down to "#### it"
This has odd results. There are actual recorded incidents of Hilda suddenly giving the Gunther exactly what he was asking for as though she had been listening all along. Now, being as this is human behavior and Gunther and Hilda have already exhibited that they are somewhat...struggling...with the whole relationship thing, the Gunther tends to live in an impending doom mode knowing he has done wrong and that that simply can not be the way to get what he really wants from Hilda. This phenomena is known as 'waiting for the other shoe to drop'.
Gravity, being what it is, tends to make the shoe, well, fall, and he finds himself right back at square one, in #### it mode, because nothing got 'fixed', a word Gunthers tend to be attracted to and Hilda's tend to treat as a guy word.
Now, conclusions tend to be inconclusive but, a common summary has been that the Hilda's do see them themselves in the right, see that what happened at the end had nothing to do with anything prior, ceratinly not their own behaviors and the Gunthers, being the clearly dumber of the study group, find themselves completely lost, especially when Hilda makes it perfectly clear that she loves him more than she has ever loved anyone and always will and it's all his fault that things are what they are and how dare him even ask for one simple freaking thing to even take step one back toweards one another because he feels the exact same way about her except, not being a total moron, he knows it is at least half his fault how ####ed up things are and he sure as hell never said "Too bad for you. I shall do as I please and you'll like it."
Now, this is, of course, just a study and not, strictly speaking, adhering to the scientific method and terminilogy. It does, however, lead one to the inevitable conclusion of what dad said a long time ago;
It takes two to Tango.
Ah, amore!
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Too bad I'm going to be fixing the deck at the lake (finally) for the next 4 days with the guys and be out of comms. This could actually get interesting.
Maybe I can do some more research while I'm at it and see if anyone else has ever loved a woman so much while also being totally frustrated by the whole thing that they feel like they should have run kicking and screaming from her the first time she exhibited Hilda Derangement Syndrome, aka 'woman behavior' or if this is just the way it is with men and woman and either you find a way to keep working together because you love each other so much or you don't because it just hurts too much.
As always, we will just collect the data and dispassionately boil it down to some sort of snappy saying or tried and true truism.
YMMV
Maybe I can do some more research while I'm at it and see if anyone else has ever loved a woman so much while also being totally frustrated by the whole thing that they feel like they should have run kicking and screaming from her the first time she exhibited Hilda Derangement Syndrome, aka 'woman behavior' or if this is just the way it is with men and woman and either you find a way to keep working together because you love each other so much or you don't because it just hurts too much.
As always, we will just collect the data and dispassionately boil it down to some sort of snappy saying or tried and true truism.
YMMV
Vince
......
Must not apply to me. I'm not your standard man.Now, I have never known a woman to do this - at least not to where they admitted it or even realized they were doing it. But in my sample polling - four so far - it appears to be fairly standard for men. And all this time I just thought they were simply...jerks. Who knew?
The dishonesty in this is fascinating to me and it seems like an awful lot of work when there is a much simpler solution. Women tend to either A) just come out with it; or B) fade away. But it is also in character with most men I know to do things the hard way instead of shortcut it and get it over with, like women do.
Anyone else think this is an interesting phenomenon?
Wasn't ever given the option of being the quitter, was always the quitee....that it is a quite common practice for men to, when they want to break if off with a woman, be as big of jerks as they can in order to get *her* to break it off with *him*. Instead of simply saying, "Look, Hilda, it's not working out and I'd like us to just be friends and not romantic partners," he'll chicken out and try to piss her off to the point she throws him out. A conscious effort.
Now, I have never known a woman to do this - at least not to where they admitted it or even realized they were doing it. But in my sample polling - four so far - it appears to be fairly standard for men. And all this time I just thought they were simply...jerks. Who knew?
The dishonesty in this is fascinating to me and it seems like an awful lot of work when there is a much simpler solution. Women tend to either A) just come out with it; or B) fade away. But it is also in character with most men I know to do things the hard way instead of shortcut it and get it over with, like women do.
Anyone else think this is an interesting phenomenon?
desertrat
0_0
...that it is a quite common practice for men to, when they want to break if off with a woman, be as big of jerks as they can in order to get *her* to break it off with *him*. Instead of simply saying, "Look, Hilda, it's not working out and I'd like us to just be friends and not romantic partners," he'll chicken out and try to piss her off to the point she throws him out. A conscious effort.
Now, I have never known a woman to do this - at least not to where they admitted it or even realized they were doing it. But in my sample polling - four so far - it appears to be fairly standard for men. And all this time I just thought they were simply...jerks. Who knew?
The dishonesty in this is fascinating to me and it seems like an awful lot of work when there is a much simpler solution. Women tend to either A) just come out with it; or B) fade away. But it is also in character with most men I know to do things the hard way instead of shortcut it and get it over with, like women do.
Anyone else think this is an interesting phenomenon?
It may seem kind of odd, but think about it. When he is trying to win your affection is he not the nicest guy on the planet? Ergo..
GWguy
*
Baja28
Obama destroyed America
You are ate up!
That would be the most appropriate course of action for any woman.
I've never known a guy ever in my whole entire life who wasn't a jerk at least sometimes.
Hey...wait a minute.....
Tilted
..
I've done this. I've spent months trying to get people to break up with me before. This one time, it took so long to get this girl to break up with me that, by the time she left, I had forgotten that I wanted her to. I was heartbroken for a good week before I remembered that I was supposed to be happy about it.
True story - you can't make this kind of stuff up.
True story - you can't make this kind of stuff up.
Sweet 16
^^8^^
You said it right there. Men are wusses, and to them, this IS taking the easy way out. No sense in trying to analyze it, it's just how they roll. My husband of 21 years still tries to do this when he doesn't want to go to some function I'm "forcing" him to go to. I think he just does it to bug me.