Jealousy

[Phina]

A friend of mine recently discovered that her long term bf had been exchanging sexually explicit texts with another girl.

His first reaction was to say the girl was his sister, which didn't hold up when she told him she had seen the content of the text.

His second reaction was to say she was a friend of his, and he had his room mate texting her from his phone because his room mate was in a funk due to his wife leaving him a few months ago. The reason he didn't do it on his own phone... he didn't want some girl blowing his phone up unless he knew he was going to like her.

Anywho... he quickly grabbed the phone, deleted all the texts and hid the phone.

There is no way she can know 100% for sure what the story really is but she is 99% sure he is lying. But she made the choice not to break up with him on the spot. They've been together for 2 years and have been talking about marriage, and this text girl lives all the way in fla.

Now she is being eaten up with the unclosed emotions though, and when I talk to her she says it's really bothering her. I don't even know where to start in giving her advice, my gut reaction is either leave him or suck it up and get over the jealousy.

Any thoughts?

 

[Im_Me]

Many thoughts all of them lead to she should


Drop the jacka$$ and run away fast!

 

[Larry Gude]

She should get pregnant and then marry him.

 

[K_Jo]

She should get pregnant and then marry him.

 

[Phina]

She should get pregnant and then marry him.

He's fixed, and they don't want any.

 

[sockgirl77]

If she doesn't trust him then she should dump him. No trust = no relationship.

 

[pixiegirl]

She should just keep on doing what she's doing. She obviously doesn't have the self worth to leave him. She should just stay super jealous and keep doing psycho things like checking his phone and he will keep being unfaithful and they can both keep on pretending like they love each other and have the perfect life.

 

[Phina]

If she doesn't trust him then she should dump him. No trust = no relationship.

I agree. But she argues that. They've been together just shy of 2 years and never once has trust ever been an issue. She feels that the jealousy and trust fall on her shoulders to deal with.

 

[Phina]

She should just keep on doing what she's doing. She obviously doesn't have the self worth to leave him. She should just stay super jealous and keep doing psycho things like checking his phone and he will keep being unfaithful and they can both keep on pretending like they love each other and have the perfect life.

Thanks, I'll pass that one along to her.

 

[pixiegirl]

I agree. But she argues that. They've been together just shy of 2 years and never once has trust ever been an issue. She feels that the jealousy and trust fall on her shoulders to deal with.

Obviously trust was an issue or she wouldn't have been checking his phone. If she's admitting to it now that she caught him there's no telling how many times she did it before and found nothing.

 

[sockgirl77]

I agree. But she argues that. They've been together just shy of 2 years and never once has trust ever been an issue. She feels that the jealousy and trust fall on her shoulders to deal with.

She's feeling the need to check his phone. He's lying to her. She's a ####ing idiot.

 

[pixiegirl]

Thanks, I'll pass that one along to her.

I'm only here to help!

 

[Larry Gude]

He's fixed, and they don't want any.

Shame. They could have been truly miserable together.

 

[vraiblonde]

He's fixed

Well, that would certainly give him something to think about if she got pregnant, wouldn't it?

 

[Phina]

Obviously trust was an issue or she wouldn't have been checking his phone. If she's admitting to it now that she caught him there's no telling how many times she did it before and found nothing.

It wasn't so much that she was "checking" his phone. They are one of those couples that never hides their cell phones from each other. She's picked up his cell phone, opened his pics and showed me pics he's taken of stuff, with him sitting right there on the couch. He's done the same with her cell phone.

 

[pixiegirl]

Shame. They could have been truly miserable together.

While it's rare it is still possible to have a truly disfunctional relationship without kids. Give it time Larry, give it time!

 

[Phina]

Well, that would certainly give him something to think about if she got pregnant, wouldn't it?

I told her to get on IM next time she is at his place and cyber with some guy... see what kind of reaction that gets.

 

[pixiegirl]

It wasn't so much that she was "checking" his phone. They are one of those couples that never hides their cell phones from each other. She's picked up his cell phone, opened his pics and showed me pics he's taken of stuff, with him sitting right there on the couch. He's done the same with her cell phone.

My other half and I are like that as well. We even share all of our email passwords, etc. That doesn't mean we pick up the other's phone and read their text messages. There had to be a seed of doubt sown for her to check his text messages in the first place.

 

[Phina]

My other half and I are like that as well. We even share all of our email passwords, etc. That doesn't mean we pick up the other's phone and read their text messages. There had to be a seed of doubt sown for her to check his text messages in the first place.

You have a point there.

 

[Nickel]

I agree. But she argues that. They've been together just shy of 2 years and never once has trust ever been an issue. She feels that the jealousy and trust fall on her shoulders to deal with.

In the grand scheme of things, 2 years isn't that long. If she wants to be married to a liar, then she should just keep on keepin' on.