Just Got My Court Order

[Chasey_Lane]

What? The guy can't even enjoy a beer or two because he has to send nearly every single penny that he makes for child support? Come on now.....he's doing the right thing by taking care of his children, but at the same time he's been forced to deny himself a life, too. That's not right.

Does it really cost $1400 to care for two children?

That depends. If mom is living in a multi-million dollar home and eating kobe steak every night, perhaps a childs share could equate to $1400/month. Not likely in St. Mary's, though.

But...you also have to look at additional things, not just the daily cost most of us think about. There is savings & college tuition to think about, too.

 

[BadGirl]

That depends. If mom is living in a multi-million dollar home and eating kobe steak every night, perhaps a childs share could equate to $1400/month. Not likely in St. Mary's, though.

But...you also have to look at additional things, not just the daily cost most of us think about. There is savings & college tuition to think about, too.

But Doug shouldn't be the ONLY one paying for the children's care, education, and so forth. I understand that they are expenses that need to be addressed, but those expenses shouldn't fall directly on Dougster's shoulders - the expenses should be shared by both the mom and dad. So, if Doug is supporting his kids at $1400 per month, and the ex is also supporting them at the same amount, that it takes $2800 to care for these two kids? That seems like a ridiculously high dollar figure to me.

 

[Azzy]

:fixed:

thats terrible

 

[Cowgirl]

That depends. If mom is living in a multi-million dollar home and eating kobe steak every night, perhaps a childs share could equate to $1400/month. Not likely in St. Mary's, though.

But...you also have to look at additional things, not just the daily cost most of us think about. There is savings & college tuition to think about, too.

Well, when it comes to the point of the non-custodial parent not having enough money to live, there's a problem. If he went out to get a second job, they could up the CS as well. He's screwed either way. I'm sorry, but it does not cost $1400 to raise 2 children. If you're including heating, electric, etc, that's not fair because the mother (or custodial parent) would have to pay for those anyways...except for the little amount that the kids would use.

I used to be way more 'pro-CS,' until I saw what my ex is going through. He has never ever been a dead-beat dad, in fact, he has complete shared custody....he's a great father...but the system can be very screwed up sometimes.

 

[sockgirl77]

But Doug shouldn't be the ONLY one paying for the children's care, education, and so forth. I understand that they are expenses that need to be addressed, but those expenses shouldn't fall directly on Dougster's shoulders - the expenses should be shared by both the mom and dad. So, if Doug is supporting his kids at $1400 per month, and the ex is also supporting them at the same amount, that it takes $2800 to care for these two kids? That seems like a ridiculously high dollar figure to me.

I pay $1280 per month for daycare/tuition expenses. Once you add in living expenses, food, and medical bills, I spend that much to raise 2 kids. :shrug:

 

[Chasey_Lane]

But Doug shouldn't be the ONLY one paying for the children's care, education, and so forth. I understand that they are expenses that need to be addressed, but those expenses shouldn't fall directly on Dougster's shoulders - the expenses should be shared by both the mom and dad. So, if Doug is supporting his kids at $1400 per month, and the ex is also supporting them at the same amount, that it takes $2800 to care for these two kids? That seems like a ridiculously high dollar figure to me.

How many overnights does dougster have his children? That plays a big part. In a perfect world, both parents should equally contribute towards their childrens upbringing. Unfortunately, that isn't always the case.

 

[nachomama]

But...you also have to look at additional things, not just the daily cost most of us think about. There is savings & college tuition to think about, too.

That's not necessarily true. My ex specifically had it put in our papers that he pays CS until the child turns 18 or graduates from HIGH SCHOOL. I didn't fight it, because I felt bad enough he lost as badly as he did (it wasn't pretty). I figured when the kids came of age, he'd change his mind. Now I have 1 away at college and one about to graduate high school and he REFUSES to pay college tuition. I could probably take him back to court and have the child support increased and the tuition tacked on as well, but it's taken me 8 years to get to the point of being able to be in the same building as the ex. Plus, I don't want to pay a lawyer $3k+ and put the kids through that ordeal again. I can pay it, and as long as I'm able to, I'll do it.

 

[Cowgirl]

But Doug shouldn't be the ONLY one paying for the children's care, education, and so forth. I understand that they are expenses that need to be addressed, but those expenses shouldn't fall directly on Dougster's shoulders - the expenses should be shared by both the mom and dad. So, if Doug is supporting his kids at $1400 per month, and the ex is also supporting them at the same amount, that it takes $2800 to care for these two kids? That seems like a ridiculously high dollar figure to me.

I agree with you completely. Unfortunately, they look at both incomes and decide on CS based on who has the lower paying income. My ex has his son 50/50 and they split costs 50/50....they decided this out of court, but if she went back to court, she could still make him pay child support because he makes more money than she does. Fortunately, she is too stupid to realize this, so he doesn't have to pay anything.

 

[sockgirl77]

Well, when it comes to the point of the non-custodial parent not having enough money to live, there's a problem. If he went out to get a second job, they could up the CS as well. He's screwed either way. I'm sorry, but it does not cost $1400 to raise 2 children. If you're including heating, electric, etc, that's not fair because the mother (or custodial parent) would have to pay for those anyways...except for the little amount that the kids would use.

I used to be way more 'pro-CS,' until I saw what my ex is going through. He has never ever been a dead-beat dad, in fact, he has complete shared custody....he's a great father...but the system can be very screwed up sometimes.

Shelter and heating costs should be included in CS.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

I'm sorry, but it does not cost $1400 to raise 2 children.

Why doesn't it? Sockgirl explained her costs, which includes daycare for two. $1400 is not an unrealistic number. One person paying that amount could be though.

 

[Azzy]

But Doug shouldn't be the ONLY one paying for the children's care, education, and so forth. I understand that they are expenses that need to be addressed, but those expenses shouldn't fall directly on Dougster's shoulders - the expenses should be shared by both the mom and dad. So, if Doug is supporting his kids at $1400 per month, and the ex is also supporting them at the same amount, that it takes $2800 to care for these two kids? That seems like a ridiculously high dollar figure to me.

It is a ridiculously high figure. I put 30K in the CS calculator as income for both parents and it came out with $522 for 2 kids. Take away Momma's income and it still only went to $598. If you put in 80K for the non custodial parent and 80K for momma, it is $808 a month. Yet with 0 icome from momma it is $1616 which is more along the lines of what he's ordered to pay. Since she is remarried and whatnot, her income can't possibly be 0 and I think it goes on total household income. Doesn't seem fair to me if she can sit home and not work and collect $1616 a month because if she got a job, she would get less CS I think our system is a lil bit whacked.

 

[Cowgirl]

Why doesn't it? Sockgirl explained her costs, which includes daycare for two. $1400 is not an unrealistic number. One person paying that amount could be though.

I meant that if he is paying $1400, then the ex would have to be paying a certain amount as well... I don't see how it can raise that much. My ex has 2 children, and he pays no where near that much.

Heating and rent etc. should only be included for the difference of what it would be for the ex. Example...if a 1 bedroom apt was $800/month, and a 2 bedroom apt was $ 950/month, then only $150 should be included as child support....see what I mean? That's the fair way...unfortunately it doesn't happen that way.

 

[sockgirl77]

Why doesn't it? Sockgirl explained her costs, which includes daycare for two. $1400 is not an unrealistic number. One person paying that amount could be though.

Depending on the ages, daycare runs about $200 per child, per week. That is about $1600 per month for 2 little ones.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

That's not necessarily true.

No shiat.

 

[Azzy]

I pay $1280 per month for daycare/tuition expenses. Once you add in living expenses, food, and medical bills, I spend that much to raise 2 kids. :shrug:

You are a single parent though, and full time caregiver for your two kids. Thats completely different than having them two weekends a month and also having other people who are supposed to be contributing at least half of that.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Example...if a 1 bedroom apt was $800/month, and a 2 bedroom apt was $ 950/month, then only $150 should be included as child support....see what I mean? That's the fair way...unfortunately it doesn't happen that way.

You are effing clueless!

 

[sockgirl77]

You are a single parent though, and full time caregiver for your two kids. Thats completely different than having them two weekends a month and also having other people who are supposed to be contributing at least half of that.

Who the hell cares if he only has them 2 weekends a month. So, that means that he doesn't have to take care of them financially the rest of the month.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

You are a single parent though, and full time caregiver for your two kids. Thats completely different than having them two weekends a month and also having other people who are supposed to be contributing at least half of that.

The cost to raise her children would be the same if she were married and working, too.

If the non-custodial has their child(ren) every other weekend, then they should be paying a significant amount more.

 

[julz20684]

Can I sit on your Santa's lap?

Why yes, yes you can...I share!

 

[Azzy]

Who the hell cares if he only has them 2 weekends a month. So, that means that he doesn't have to take care of them financially the rest of the month.

Thats not what I'm saying. I'm saying that he is paying just about ALL of what you are saying you pay. He shouldnt have to pay ALL of it, she should be responsible for part of it as well.