Leaping into bed harms relationships

kwillia

kwillia

n/a
Know any women who "fall in love" at the drop of a hat and than wonder why they can't keep a man? Send them a link to this article... In the least, share this info with your sons and daughters... :yay:


Religion and science don't normally make for happy bedfellows, especially when it comes to sex. But now, it seems, they're in total agreement. A study into the effects of having sex before marriage suggests it's much better not to. Those who abstain during their courtship or build up a gradual sexual relationship, rather than leaping into bed on the first date, are more likely to have happier and longer relationships.

How leaping into bed harms relationships - Science - News - The Independent

The researchers who carried out the study, the first of its kind, say that early sexual satisfaction may stunt the development of other key ingredients of healthy relationships, such as commitment, caring, understanding and shared values. "Precocious premarital sexual activities may have lasting effects on relationship quality," they say. "Courtship is a time for exploration and decision-making about the relationship, when partners assess compatibility, make commitments and build on emotional and physical intimacy."
 
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EmptyTimCup

Guest
and people get all pissy when you mention the bible and Gods word about marriage, sex, premarital sex ... fornication



:popcorn:



..... although I did hop into bed with my wife on the 1st date, we dated for 5 yrs, never shacked up before hand .... *

a lot of people , Bang, Bang, Bang on the 1st date .... move in together after 3 weeks of 'dating' and wonder why it does not last ....


... he doesn't put the seat down .... doesn't put the cap back in the tooth paste ... leaves his dirty socks in the floor ....









*[in the interest of full discloser ... I did stay for a few weeks the 1st summer we were together - I used her, :whistle: her Apt was 5 miles from a electrical remodel JOB I was working on, so rather that drive 40 miles one way from Ft Washington to Gaithersburg every morning ... I stayed with my then GF and got a hot breakfast and a kiss in the cheek ever morning on my way out the door - YES my wife rocks like that - when the job was finished, I went back home .... ]










:confused:

[wonders what happened to the cheesy bacon and egg sandwich, and the kiss every morning ... oh that's right we got married ]
 
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Baja28

Baja28

Obama destroyed America
Link copied and pasted to a certain forumite whom we all know and love.... :killingme
 
I

ItalianScallion

Harley Rider
kwillia said:
Religion and science don't normally make for happy bedfellows, especially when it comes to sex. But now, it seems, they're in total agreement. A study into the effects of having sex before marriage suggests it's much better not to. Those who abstain during their courtship or build up a gradual sexual relationship, rather than leaping into bed on the first date, are more likely to have happier and longer relationships.

The researchers who carried out the study, the first of its kind, say that early sexual satisfaction may stunt the development of other key ingredients of healthy relationships, such as commitment, caring, understanding and shared values. "Precocious premarital sexual activities may have lasting effects on relationship quality," they say. "Courtship is a time for exploration and decision-making about the relationship, when partners assess compatibility, make commitments and build on emotional and physical intimacy."
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Isn't it amazing that the Scriptures have said this from the beginning but will anyone actually follow it? The problem is that most people don't learn from their mistakes and/or they refuse to admit that what they are doing is wrong...:yay:
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
What about if all you want is the bangbang and don't really care to engage in a relationship? Can you do it then?
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
vraiblonde said:
What about if all you want is the bangbang and don't really care to engage in a relationship? Can you do it then?
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Logically speaking that would be the perfect time to do it...:yay:

However, young women are looking for "that guy" can benefit from understanding the importance of being courted.
 
MMDad

MMDad

Lem Putt
vraiblonde said:
What about if all you want is the bangbang and don't really care to engage in a relationship? Can you do it then?
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It's jumping in bed that's the problem, not the bangbang. Just do it on the hood of the car, at the beach, on the kitchen table, or on the living room floor.
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Harms relationships? It would be more accurate to say sex 'too soon' harms relationships from the woman's view point.


The couples were also asked about the quality of their relationships, including giving scores for commitment, intimacy, sexual satisfaction, communication and conflict. Results show that for women, all the scores were better if sex was delayed for one month. A similar trend was found for men, but the differences were not so great.
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Take your time, work up to it;

"Precocious premarital sexual activities may have lasting effects on relationship quality," they say. "Courtship is a time for exploration and decision-making about the relationship, when partners assess compatibility, make commitments and build on emotional and physical intimacy."
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Her "We're compatible, aren't we?"

Him "Yes, of course! Let's ####!"

Her "Not just yet. Let's explore decision making."

Him "Ok, what 'decision' do I need to 'make' so we can ####?!"

Her "Well, we are committed, aren't we?"

Him "Yes! Of course we are! Can we #### now?"

Her "Not just yet. Do you feel an emotional connection?"

Him "A what? Oh, uh, yes, yes I do! A compatible emotional connection! Can we #### now?"

Her "Down, boy. How about money and religion and family and curtains and dish patterns?"

Him "Yes, yes, yes, and yes."

Her "Oh! Gomer! That's not my belly button!"

20 years later...

Researcher "How would you rate your level of commitment, intimacy, satisfaction, communication and conflict?"

Her "We are very happy with them all, aren't we, dear?"

Him

Her "I say aren't we DEAR?"

Him "Wha? Oh. Uh, yes, dear..."


It's amazing that we've gone from 40 years ago where couples quite often had sex for the first time on their wedding night and then, over time, felt stuck and unhappy and, basically, just made due because that was what was expected and they'd put so much into the enterprise it simply wasn't practical to do anything else, to social revolution where the individual started to matter more, to over indulgence where the individual was ALL that mattered to now, back to square one.

C'est la vie.

:buddies:
 
C

czygvtwkr

Guest
Best relationship I've ever had the attraction was so great we did it before the first date, then during the date and finally after the date.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Larry Gude said:
:blahblah:
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In short, you do not buy a car without taking it for a test drive.

Having sex with a guy can bring out the worst in him. Really. I say if you meet a guy you really like and think may have potential, boink him ASAP and use it as part of the weeding out process.

"Hmmm...sorry, Geronimo, that just wasn't what I had in mind for the rest of my life. Ta ta!"
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
kwillia said:
How in the heck are you guys getting "must wait for marriage" out of that article...:lol:
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I think what Larry was getting at is that waiting until everything else is in place before having sex doesn't necessarily make a satisfying relationship, either. I suspect the women in the article are reacting to the failed relationship attempts more than anything else, and perhaps only think that waiting would have been better when it most likely would have ended the same way.
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
vraiblonde said:
I think what Larry was getting at is that waiting until everything else is in place before having sex doesn't necessarily make a satisfying relationship, either. I suspect the women in the article are reacting to the failed relationship attempts more than anything else, and perhaps only think that waiting would have been better when it most likely would have ended the same way.
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I think you are both missing the entire point of the study and I think the scientific findings make logical sense.
 
kwillia

kwillia

n/a
vraiblonde said:
Spell it out for me. This is an interesting discussion!
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Okay... I'll see if I can get to this today...:lol: In a nutshell, I believe you can liken it to the chemical and neurological bond develops when one becomes a mother or a father. It's that physiology that makes a couple able to withstand the bombardment of life over decades of time and still remain bonded.
 
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