Leaping into bed harms relationships

[MMM_donuts]

Not just childbearing (for those who made the choice not to venture that road), but also obtaining financial stability and obtaining the American Dream.

I guess if you don't NEED a partner for anything then the relationship kinda goes in a different direction.

My husband and I don't and won't have children and we're both financially independant, meaning we keep each other around just for the pleasure of each other's company. Also since we don't necessarily need each other, I have to keep up my end of the relationship bargain so he'll keep me around.

When we were dating, I wasn't looking for anyone to take care of me or to help me raise offspring. He was just someone that had come into my life that was so awesome that I've wanted to keep around for as long as possible. Had we started dating when I was 18 or 19, the entire thing would have been completely different.

 

[JenniferCNJR]

I guess if you don't NEED a partner for anything then the relationship kinda goes in a different direction.

My husband and I don't and won't have children and we're both financially independant, meaning we keep each other around just for the pleasure of each other's company. Also since we don't necessarily need each other, I have to keep up my end of the relationship bargain so he'll keep me around.

When we were dating, I wasn't looking for anyone to take care of me or to help me raise offspring. He was just someone that had come into my life that was so awesome that I've wanted to keep around for as long as possible. Had we started dating when I was 18 or 19, the entire thing would have been completely different.

My point: you want to keep him around; not need to keep him around.

 

[vraiblonde]

My point: you want to keep him around; not need to keep him around.

I think many marriages contain a lot of bargaining chips that really have nothing to do with true love, passion for each other, or even companionship. You're basically stuck with this person because of kids, the house, the finances, the family, whatever, so you make the best of it. And that's fine - works for any number of people and they are at least content, or even honestly happy, with their choice.

Not everyone cares about emptying the jelly bean jar, I suppose. :shrug:

 

[EmptyTimCup]

If I don't have the urge to rip his clothes off after the first kiss, chances are good it's never going to happen. And if I don't have the urge to kiss him after the first conversation, there will be no romantic follow-up.

I got to spend a lot of time in bedrooms because of Great Kissing ..... in my mi-spent youth

 

[czygvtwkr]

A wise man once told me when a man goes on a date with a woman he wonders if he will get laid, when a woman goes out on a date she already knows.

 

[EmptyTimCup]

Point made and I agree... they don't typically bring the POA home to meet mom and I'm glad for it.

POA ? Piece of A

lol ....... yeah why get invested if he is changing girl friends next week

 

[drivingdaisy]

I think many marriages contain a lot of bargaining chips that really have nothing to do with true love, passion for each other, or even companionship. You're basically stuck with this person because of kids, the house, the finances, the family, whatever, so you make the best of it. And that's fine - works for any number of people and they are at least content, or even honestly happy, with their choice.

Not everyone cares about emptying the jelly bean jar, I suppose. :shrug:

Where are these jelly beans you speak of? Not one of my men ever had jelly beans. I feel gypped.

 

[Beta84]

Because from a small age you are thought that things come next "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby carriage." It's just something that is....well...expected?

I remember that same limerick when I was young, but somehow I think kids around here learn that in a different order. "First comes a baby, then comes marriage, then comes divorce and child support!" That doesn't really rhyme, either. Oh well...I had to.

kwillia -- really good post.

 

[Larry Gude]

A wise man once told me when a man goes on a date with a woman he wonders if he will get laid, when a woman goes out on a date she already knows.

That's poppycock. It's a two way street.

I will grant you that the women's side of the street might be 2 lanes or even 3 to the mens side being only one but, men make it happen, or not, at least some of the time.