Marrying within your own race

[Sula]

So, if I think there's nothing wrong with interracial marriage (and, I think there's nothing wrong with interracial marriage), but I do think it's not responsible of the parents because their children are very likely to be attacked needlessly, I'm the problem.

I don't let my kids walk on a firing range either. Knowing they're likely to get shot must make me a problem......

Well, that is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Comparing interracial marriage to a firing range is like...well, hell it's so absurd I can't even come up with a good analogy.

I have never had a bigot be cruel to me because I was of mixed race. I have had bigots be cruel because I was part black (FYI-it isn't the white part of me (the breast and wings) that they have a problem with). So I'm wondering, should black people not procreate because there are dumb ass racist out there who might be mean to their children? What's the difference?

 

[This_person]

Well, that is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Comparing interracial marriage to a firing range is like...well, hell it's so absurd I can't even come up with a good analogy.

I have never had a bigot be cruel to me because I was of mixed race. I have had bigots be cruel because I was part black (FYI-it isn't the white part of me (the breast and wings) that they have a problem with). So I'm wondering, should black people not procreate because there are dumb ass racist out there who might be mean to their children? What's the difference?

I'm sorry you didn't get it, but I wasn't comparing interracial marriage to a firing range. I was suggesting that, despite your 100% approval rating of being mixed (just not being part black.... I'm not sure how you differentiate people's bigotry that way, but you clearly do), the larger percentage of kids from mixed races have a lot of bigotry thrust upon them from any and every side of their mixed races - and that doing something to intentionally harm a child could be viewed as irresponsible.

I don't have a problem with interracial marriages. I don't have a problem with interracial marriages creating offspring. I'm just suggesting that thinking that if parents of mixed races have children that will cure bigotry is as stupid as thinking that letting someone walk on the downrange side of a firing range will automatically stop people from shooting.

 

[WidowLady06]

I am interracial and as a young child grew up in a very very small town surrounded by white people. I was 8 before I ever saw a black person other than my own father. Looking back I know that some people in my mother's family were disgusted by the fact that she would dare "breed" with a black man. Of course, I can't say that my mother loving and having children with a black man has damaged my psyche. I can say, without a doubt, that others disapproval of that has.
Moving into the "big world" was an interesting change. I had black friends and white friends. No one cared. I have found that the minority groups are much quicker at picking up on the fact that I am mixed. When I am asked about my ethnic background, it is a question that comes from a white person about 90% of the time.
My experience has been that those who turn out to be the most racist feel a need to classify. In Texas, racists assumed I was Mexican. In Florida, I was Cuban.
I have lived and spent a lot of time in the deep south and for me the racism there is much easier to deal with then it is here in somd. There people believe what they believe and their is no question to there opinions on race. Here it is covert. It lies beneath the surface and comes out unexpectedly.

It all seems pretty simple to me. If you have a problem with interracial marriage because of how it affects the children or any other asinine reason, assume that you are the cause of that problem. When those with problems with it stop having a problem there won't be a problem.

My husband had the same issues. Mostly while growing up, because we lived in Fairfax County for years. There, nobody cares. I moved here, and I have been absolutely FLOORED at the bigotry and underlying racism. And I just LOVE (insert ) the fact that people assume that my children had different fathers, just because I wound up with one that looks like her Daddy and one that looks like her Mommy. Guess which one people gravitate towards?

 

[This_person]

My husband had the same issues. Mostly while growing up, because we lived in Fairfax County for years. There, nobody cares. I moved here, and I have been absolutely FLOORED at the bigotry and underlying racism. And I just LOVE (insert ) the fact that people assume that my children had different fathers, just because I wound up with one that looks like her Daddy and one that looks like her Mommy. Guess which one people gravitate towards?

I'll guess.... Darker people gravitate towards the darker child, lighter people gravitate towards the lighter child....

Am I close?

 

[WidowLady06]

I'll guess.... Darker people gravitate towards the darker child, lighter people gravitate towards the lighter child....

Am I close?

Actually, before we moved here, people tended to gravitate toward the darker child. She has beautiful bone structure, a great smile and a great laugh. The lighter daughter was considered "cute" but not what people seemed to pull toward. Here....it's all about the blue eyed blonde.....

 

[yankee44]

Actually, before we moved here, people tended to gravitate toward the darker child. She has beautiful bone structure, a great smile and a great laugh. The lighter daughter was considered "cute" but not what people seemed to pull toward. Here....it's all about the blue eyed blonde.....

My little dude (who is part hispanic from his mother) has an olive skin color with dark hair and bright blue eyes.

People seem to think he is one of the best looking kids that they have ever seen. :shrug:

 

[PrchJrkr]

At least you will admit it.
And not lying to your self.
Honestly is appreciated.

pssst, it was a joke. I'm not racist, I'm classist. Anyone who makes a an honest living and is respectful, is okay with me, regardless of skin color. Hell, I'd be happy if my daughter had a green boyfriend who treated her with respect and boy, GASP, has a hispanic girly that he gets along quite well with at school.

P.S. He's a cool dude, yank.

 

[This_person]

Actually, before we moved here, people tended to gravitate toward the darker child. She has beautiful bone structure, a great smile and a great laugh. The lighter daughter was considered "cute" but not what people seemed to pull toward. Here....it's all about the blue eyed blonde.....

Perhaps it's just who you hang around with?


From my experience, I see very few people who actually are not inclusive to anyone who wishes to be included :shrug:

 

[WidowLady06]

Perhaps it's just who you hang around with?


From my experience, I see very few people who actually are not inclusive to anyone who wishes to be included :shrug:

Since I pretty much know nobody, it's not who I'm hanging around with, most of these observations are coming from the kids at their schools. And, yes, kids have their own brains and their own thoughts and their own personalities, but their biggest influence is still their home life.

 

[Jeff]

Judging from the poll results you can see things are changing. Post the same Poll 30 Years ago and the results would have likely been skewed a different direction.

Just goes to show you that things are changing. Might as well come to terms with it and accept it or get run over by it. Holding on to old ways of thinking isn't going to do anyone any damned good at all. We all can be considered to be pieces of this big puzzle of life. If my piece is too damned good to be next to your piece, then my piece is the one that doesn't fit.

I guess I just try to be a bit more open minded about things. I have enough problems of my own without creating roadblocks for myself by allowing preconceived notions to reduce the number of options I have available to me.

 

[Sula]

I'm sorry you didn't get it, but I wasn't comparing interracial marriage to a firing range. I was suggesting that, despite your 100% approval rating of being mixed (just not being part black.... I'm not sure how you differentiate people's bigotry that way, but you clearly do), the larger percentage of kids from mixed races have a lot of bigotry thrust upon them from any and every side of their mixed races - and that doing something to intentionally harm a child could be viewed as irresponsible.

I don't have a problem with interracial marriages. I don't have a problem with interracial marriages creating offspring. I'm just suggesting that thinking that if parents of mixed races have children that will cure bigotry is as stupid as thinking that letting someone walk on the downrange side of a firing range will automatically stop people from shooting.

I differentiate people's bigotry that way, because I have never once had a black person have a problem with me being mixed. The only people I have ever expressed outward hostility or racism towards me have been white. I will admit to making the assumption that the problem white racists have with me is that I'm part black (seems a fairly safe assumption). I have no doubt that there are black people who believe that interracial marriage is wrong.
I hope that none of my posts have made it sound like I believe that the mixing races will cure bigotry. If so, that wasn't my intention. No one should have a child with anyone for any reason other than they love that person and want to create a life. Having a child to harbor social progress and harmony between the races would just be stupid for a multitude of reasons.

I'm curious, you say that a large percentage of biracial children have bigotry thrust upon them, how many biracial children do you know and are these children unhappy and resentful of their parents?

 

[Sula]

Judging from the poll results you can see things are changing. Post the same Poll 30 Years ago and the results would have likely been skewed a different direction.

Just goes to show you that things are changing. Might as well come to terms with it and accept it or get run over by it. Holding on to old ways of thinking isn't going to do anyone any damned good at all. We all can be considered to be pieces of this big puzzle of life. If my piece is too damned good to be next to your piece, then my piece is the one that doesn't fit.

I guess I just try to be a bit more open minded about things. I have enough problems of my own without creating roadblocks for myself by allowing preconceived notions to reduce the number of options I have available to me.

Damn, Jeff! When did you get smart?

 

[Jeff]

Damn, Jeff! When did you get smart?

Still working on that

 

[This_person]

I differentiate people's bigotry that way, because I have never once had a black person have a problem with me being mixed. The only people I have ever expressed outward hostility or racism towards me have been white. I will admit to making the assumption that the problem white racists have with me is that I'm part black (seems a fairly safe assumption). I have no doubt that there are black people who believe that interracial marriage is wrong.
I hope that none of my posts have made it sound like I believe that the mixing races will cure bigotry. If so, that wasn't my intention. No one should have a child with anyone for any reason other than they love that person and want to create a life. Having a child to harbor social progress and harmony between the races would just be stupid for a multitude of reasons.

I'm curious, you say that a large percentage of biracial children have bigotry thrust upon them, how many biracial children do you know and are these children unhappy and resentful of their parents?

Would you be surprised if I told you I was raising two?

 

[Sula]

Would you be surprised if I told you I was raising two?

No not at all. I understand your concerns and if I thought you were a racist I wouldn't bother having this dialogue with you.

I think that all of us have challenges in life. I have friends who are Grade A nerds and have a son who is just like them. He is picked on mercilessly and is having a much harder time finding a place then I ever did.
Part of life, whether you're biracial, a nerd, or just plain ugly, is finding our place and discovering who we are as people. For some it's harder, but with good parenting we end up stronger in the end.

 

[frozenrain]

My little dude (who is part hispanic from his mother) has an olive skin color with dark hair and bright blue eyes.

People seem to think he is one of the best looking kids that they have ever seen. :shrug:

He is very handsome.You must be very proud!

 

[sunmoonstars]

pssst, it was a joke. I'm not racist, I'm classist. Anyone who makes a an honest living and is respectful, is okay with me, regardless of skin color. Hell, I'd be happy if my daughter had a green boyfriend who treated her with respect and boy, GASP, has a hispanic girly that he gets along quite well with at school.

P.S. He's a cool dude, yank.

 

[mystuff]

My very best friend comes from interracial parents (father black, mother white). I have known this girl for many years since high school, she has always had a problem with dating and making friends, for whatever reason. For dating purposes it seems the black guys were okay with dating her while the white guys didn't give her much of the time of day. And in the friend department she had such a hard time because it seemed the black girls thought she was "trying to be one of them" and the white girls also thought she was a "wannabe" and therefore kinda shunned her. Now today, years later, as a grown adult, she doesn't have the problem with making friends but still in the dating, the only guys really interested in her is either black or hispanic.

Has this been the same experience from others from interracial parents?

 

[Xaquin44]

It would make me feel as if I went wrong somewhere.

you have.

 

[Uncle Rico]

you have.

NOPE! I am doing alright, thank you! Go play with your dolls and leave me alone!