Only the New York Times! The Grey Lady ran a dire story yesterday headlined, “
Back-to-Back Assassinations in Middle East Scramble Biden’s Hopes for Peace.” The sub-headline added, “President Biden had anticipated using his remaining time in office to finally bring an end to the war in Gaza. But that was Monday.”
Now come on. Do they really expect us to believe Biden planned to
end a war someplace? He was working diligently on his peace plan until these inconvenient assassinations happened? Is he planning
anything? But I digress, and we’ve only started.
News of an Israeli double-assassination of two top terror leaders —a Hezbollah commander killed in Beirut and a Hamas political leader slain in Tehran— provoked
a same-day emergency meeting of the United Nations, trying to stop the entire Middle East from devolving into full-out kinetic war and dragging the rest of the world into it.
But the New York Times’s narrative was how badly this terrifying series of events have inconvenienced President Cabbage’s political ambitions —
even though he’s not even running anymore. It was so bizarre it makes me wonder whether, instead of Joe’s hopes for peace being scrambled, reporters’
brains have been scrambled, perhaps by some invisible antagonist like spike protein, sunspots, magnetic pole shift, demons, or maybe seed oils. We don’t know yet.
Despite giving sixteen column inches to how very inconvenienced Joe was, the Times, contradicting its essential premise, also admitted it was
the Biden Administration that practically begged Israel to do it:
The article explored the Biden Administration’s pro-assassination logic. It explained that negotiations would be easier if Israel proves to the other sides that, and I quote, it is “a tough son of a b—ch.” That is one hundred percent consistent with President Kumquat’s pugilistic foreign policy, which rather than hoity-toity diplomacy and negotiating national differences, consists more of punching everyone in the conference room and then hitting them with rocks.
This is a developing story, and the situation remains fluid, but so far, despite
white-hot rhetoric from all sides, it does not appear this is “it,” not yet. From a separate Times article (linked in the previous sentence):
Only in 2024 could
Iran act as the adult in the room. In another sign of restraint,
Iran called the emergency U.N. Security Council meeting to discuss how to avoid escalation. As far as I can tell, the meeting went nowhere; corporate media did not cover that story.
Unless I am vaporized in a mushroom cloud, I will keep you posted on developments related to Joe Biden’s latest disappointment. And right after getting edged out of the nomination, which must have been almost as disappointing for him as not negotiating a Gazan peace deal, or finding out the White House cafeteria is out of mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Maybe Vice President Plan B could help?
Double assassination provokes Middle East; visible Times narrative shift over Ukraine; Venezuelan dictator wants to fight Elon; another jab study links Alzheimer's; Texas scores off Facebook; more.
www.coffeeandcovid.com