It is perfectly impossible to exaggerate the off-the-charts freakishness of this next fantastic, over-the-top, literally explosive 2024 story. Yesterday, Israel’s spy agencies apparently killed, maimed, or wounded up to
five thousand Hezbollah enemies without firing a shot, using
exploding pagers. The Wall Street Journal covered the story under its headline, “
Hezbollah Pagers Explode in Apparent Attack Across Lebanon.”
Iranian-connected, Lebanon-based Hezbollah is a well-equipped Muslim militia and U.S.-designated terror group that has been skirmishing with Israel since last year’s October 7th Hamas atrocity. Recently, following Israel’s assassination of a high-profile Hezbollah leader, the group switched from using high-tech smartphones to lower-tech pagers for communication.
They switched
for safety.
Yesterday, up to 5,000 Hezbollah militants all simultaneously received a highly unwelcome message on their pagers. Seconds later, the tiny devices spontaneously detonated, seriously injuring the users, blowing off their hands, violently severing even more delicate body parts, and overwhelming Lebanese hospitals with the wounded. So far, a dozen Hezbollah fighters have died from the trauma and that number will probably increase.
Nobody knows how the mass-assasination was done. Israel hasn’t even confirmed it was involved (but hasn’t denied it, either). Speculation is running rampant, with corporate media doing its best to cover and reassure everyone that all
our devices are perfectly safe, this is
not an undocumented feature of lithium battery technology, and don’t worry, it cannot be deployed against any inconvenient personage, like
you.
Theories abound. Maybe Israeli operatives somehow intercepted all the pager shipments, and cunningly injected explosives that were then somehow triggered by a single pager message. Or maybe the Taiwanese pager manufacturer cooperated or was infiltrated by Israeli spies. Or maybe the Israelis figured out how to blow up lithium batteries in certain devices on command.
We don’t know. And it’s likely we will never know.
One thing is certain though. Now, every intelligence agency in the world has learned a nifty new trick. Not just for one-off assassinations, like the CIA’s infamous exploding cigar, but for mass-marketed, high-precision weapons of mass destruction. We have indeed raced down the rabbit hole.
Ready to retire your smartphone yet?
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