Moms..I need help

[libertytyranny]

Serious help


So. I am pregnant. I am not afraid of being pregnant. I am not afraid at all of the pain of labor, I am not afraid of giving birth. I am not a bit afraid of taking care of an infant, or raising a good kid or being a good parent. These things I am strangely calm about. However I am intensely terrified of one particular thing. Just one thing is enough to give me nightmares and mini panic attacks.

Tearing during delivery.

Seriously. Please don't make fun, it has seriously made me crazy. I don't know if it's hormones making me obsess or what, but the thought is haunting me.


Here's my concern. My OB is dr. Polko's office (they are making me see all of them). I know she is wonderful. Best in the area, everybody loves her to pieces. But I know for a fact that she doesn't give two craps about your lady bits and will snatch that baby out without a second thought ( I worked at the hospital, I know this). My phobia is so great, that I am actually thinking about shopping around for a new OB, one that can assure me they will let me go through labor gradually and slowly enough to let my body react appropriately. i realize this doesn't always prevent it, but my mind is stuck on this.


So, am I crazy? Am I ready for the looney bin yet? And can anyone recommend an OB that will fit my needs?

 

[Chasey_Lane]

If your doctor thinks you'll tear, she should cut. And that hurts like nobody's business.

 

[Nickel]

When you're actually in labor, all your modesty will go out the window and you probably won't be worrying about your lady business. That being said, if you aren't comfortable with your OB, you should switch. You will probably be getting all kinds of ridiculous in the coming months, so you want someone you like.

 

[cattitude]

Best to keep my mouth shut.

 

[aubriana]

Serious help


So. I am pregnant. I am not afraid of being pregnant. I am not afraid at all of the pain of labor, I am not afraid of giving birth. I am not a bit afraid of taking care of an infant, or raising a good kid or being a good parent. These things I am strangely calm about. However I am intensely terrified of one particular thing. Just one thing is enough to give me nightmares and mini panic attacks.

Tearing during delivery.

Seriously. Please don't make fun, it has seriously made me crazy. I don't know if it's hormones making me obsess or what, but the thought is haunting me.


Here's my concern. My OB is dr. Polko's office (they are making me see all of them). I know she is wonderful. Best in the area, everybody loves her to pieces. But I know for a fact that she doesn't give two craps about your lady bits and will snatch that baby out without a second thought ( I worked at the hospital, I know this). My phobia is so great, that I am actually thinking about shopping around for a new OB, one that can assure me they will let me go through labor gradually and slowly enough to let my body react appropriately. i realize this doesn't always prevent it, but my mind is stuck on this.


So, am I crazy? Am I ready for the looney bin yet? And can anyone recommend an OB that will fit my needs?

http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancylabor-and-delivery/delivery-options.aspx

 

[getbent]

I didn't worry about that with my first one, but I really didn't want to tear with my second one. It seemed to me healing with a natural tear was worse than having them cut. Dr. Polko delivered my 2nd child and she did give me a little incision.

 

[libertytyranny]

When you're actually in labor, all your modesty will go out the window and you probably won't be worrying about your lady business. That being said, if you aren't comfortable with your OB, you should switch. You will probably be getting all kinds of ridiculous in the coming months, so you want someone you like.

This is crazy..but thats what scares me too..that I wont care att heat point..tear into a billion pieces then have to heal because i lost my mind.


A tiny bit of background. I have a few family members/friends that had very serious fourth degree tears, and needed to have vital bits reconstructed. and when youre pregnant, for soem reason everyone wants to tell you a horror story..and this is what I have zeroed in on..

 

[vraiblonde]

If your doctor thinks you'll tear, she should cut. And that hurts like nobody's business.

I was cut both times with my kids and didn't even feel it. Everything else hurt so bad, the episiotomy pain got lost in the shuffle.

LT, if you have concerns, talk to the Dr. about them. If she gives you grief, then get a new OB. But typically doctors don't want you to tear any more than you want to tear, because stitching up the ragged edges is a beech. They'd much rather stitch a clean cut.

 

[RareBreed]

I got cut with my first son. To tell the truth, it was a welcomed relief. I don't remember now but either his head or shoulders were stuck and when they cut me, he just slid out. AHHH! Relief!! However, recovering from the cut was horrible. Couldn't sit right for months!!

 

[bresamil]

I had a nice big cut with the first one - Charlie Brown head. Tore a little with the second - big shoulders. Didn't need a cut and didn't tear at all with third - eel baby.

Healing hurts. It just does. The amount of tearing or cutting will depend on your body, how fast your labor progresses, and the size of the child.

I don't think this can be avoided if it happens so just calm down. You'll be fine.

If you don't progress you'll end up with a csection anyway and the "lady bits" as you call them will be untouched.

 

[Nickel]

This is crazy..but thats what scares me too..that I wont care att heat point..tear into a billion pieces then have to heal because i lost my mind.


A tiny bit of background. I have a few family members/friends that had very serious fourth degree tears, and needed to have vital bits reconstructed. and when youre pregnant, for soem reason everyone wants to tell you a horror story..and this is what I have zeroed in on..

Yikes. Have you brought up your concerns with your doctor? She can't predict what will happen, but she should be able to tell you what to expect and work with you on how to minimize problems. These days women are so hands on (for lack of a better term ) about their deliveries that doctors should be used to talking these things out. Don't stress yourself out. Chances are you'll have a normal delivery and even if it's not so normal, you'll have a beautiful baby to show for it.

 

[DQ2B]

Once you're in the throws of labor you won't give a rats a$$ about such matters. The ONLY thing you'll want is for that kid to be out! I had an episotomy with the first and I never even knew the Doc had done it until after it was all over. Didn't have any drugs either and I still didn't know I'd been cut.

 

[onelove6366]

An incision will heal better then a tear. I know it is scary. It's been ummm... 23 years since I've been in your position but when my first came (26 years) and they came to me with the syringe with Novacaine or Lydacaine - whatever they use and told me they were going to numb that area up before cutting I was like WHAT - NO WAY - but they did and it was fine.

We were lucky there was enough time for an incision 2nd time. I delivered completely natural.

I will tell you this:

Ask for a bottle of hospital strength dermoplast for your incision - it is the best.

I have pretty good muscle control in that area naturally - how embarrasing - but Kegal exercises will help in this area a great deal. Two babies - two cuts and I'm still okay - so don't worry.

When you deliver DO NOT LAY FLAT ON A BED. I delivered 2nd time in a birthing chair - squatting letting nature and gravity do it's thing. Works great!

Personally if I were to have a child again which is physically impossible at thie point - I'd deliver at home with a midwife.

If you aren't comfortable with your OB - get someone else. It doesn't matter if they are the best in the world - if you aren't comfortable that's a problem.

Good luck!

Serious help


So. I am pregnant. I am not afraid of being pregnant. I am not afraid at all of the pain of labor, I am not afraid of giving birth. I am not a bit afraid of taking care of an infant, or raising a good kid or being a good parent. These things I am strangely calm about. However I am intensely terrified of one particular thing. Just one thing is enough to give me nightmares and mini panic attacks.

Tearing during delivery.

Seriously. Please don't make fun, it has seriously made me crazy. I don't know if it's hormones making me obsess or what, but the thought is haunting me.


Here's my concern. My OB is dr. Polko's office (they are making me see all of them). I know she is wonderful. Best in the area, everybody loves her to pieces. But I know for a fact that she doesn't give two craps about your lady bits and will snatch that baby out without a second thought ( I worked at the hospital, I know this). My phobia is so great, that I am actually thinking about shopping around for a new OB, one that can assure me they will let me go through labor gradually and slowly enough to let my body react appropriately. i realize this doesn't always prevent it, but my mind is stuck on this.


So, am I crazy? Am I ready for the looney bin yet? And can anyone recommend an OB that will fit my needs?

 

[cattitude]

I was under the impression that most nurses in labor/delivery use the perineal massage method prior to the actually pushing/delivery. :shrug:

 

[lovinmaryland]

If your doctor thinks you'll tear, she should cut. And that hurts like nobody's business.

Yeah but what happens when they think you will have a 8 lb baby so they give you an episiotomy for an 8lb baby and you actually have an almost 10 lb baby

 

[punjabigyrl]

Congrats. I think you are over working yourself mentally. Dr. Polko is awesome and she does things she feels are necessary. With that being said, I think you should talk to her about our concern. When I was pregnant with my first, the doctor gave me an episiotomy and it healed just perfect.

 

[lovinmaryland]

An incision will heal better then a tear. I know it is scary. It's been ummm... 23 years since I've been in your position but when my first came (26 years) and they came to me with the syringe with Novacaine or Lydacaine - whatever they use and told me they were going to numb that area up before cutting I was like WHAT - NO WAY - but they did and it was fine.

We were lucky there was enough time for an incision 2nd time. I delivered completely natural.

I will tell you this:

Ask for a bottle of hospital strength dermoplast for your incision - it is the best.

I have pretty good muscle control in that area naturally - how embarrasing - but Kegal exercises will help in this area a great deal. Two babies - two cuts and I'm still okay - so don't worry.

When you deliver DO NOT LAY FLAT ON A BED. I delivered 2nd time in a birthing chair - squatting letting nature and gravity do it's thing. Works great!

Personally if I were to have a child again which is physically impossible at thie point - I'd deliver at home with a midwife.

If you aren't comfortable with your OB - get someone else. It doesn't matter if they are the best in the world - if you aren't comfortable that's a problem.

Good luck!

This is exactly what you will need! This stuff is AWESOME!!!

 

[cattitude]

Oh yeah, you hear the snip of the scissors more than you feel the cut.

 

[lovinmaryland]

Here's my concern. My OB is dr. Polko's office (they are making me see all of them). I know she is wonderful. Best in the area, everybody loves her to pieces. But I know for a fact that she doesn't give two craps about your lady bits and will snatch that baby out without a second thought ( I worked at the hospital, I know this). My phobia is so great, that I am actually thinking about shopping around for a new OB, one that can assure me they will let me go through labor gradually and slowly enough to let my body react appropriately. i realize this doesn't always prevent it, but my mind is stuck on this.

I have to disagree with this. I had previously had 3rd degree tearing with my first child and she did a fantastic job with my lady bits

 

[vraiblonde]

LT, you should come over and let me, Dye and Jazz deliver your bebe on alcohol experimentation night. You'd be surprised how much easier squirting a child out of your hoo-ha is when you've had a couple of banana daiquiris.