It's also full of bleach and disinfectant and the trained professionals who use them in the appropriate concentrations.
All my nijnas were born in a hospital, and not a one of them got sick there.
Your own germs? What germs do you have that the rest of us don't?
Are you brewing some sort of weird genetic infection stew over there or something?
They're not as fragile as they look. Sure they scream and moan, but they're pretty tough little guys.
Except for their skin. They squish around in your juice for 9 months and when they come out, they'll have the
worst case of prune-hands... all over their bodies! So go easy on the skin. It starts off looking all purple and wrinkley and just
awful. But it toughens up.
And they're pretty sensitive to the light.
And their little bones are pretty brittle.
And their little fontanelles .. OMG! You have to be
so careful around their head!!
And don't let their little necks go unsupported!
OK, so they are kind of fragile. More fragile than older kids. My boys are playing football now, and they smash into each other like dump-trucks playing chicken. And when they play video games it often results in the two of them rolling around on the floor pounding on each other. It seems like yesterday those little guys had little purple legs that looked all folded up like a pair of wrinkley socks... and they had that little black dried up umbillical cord piece still attached, and it almost looked like a turd sticking out of their bellybuttons, but you knew it wasn't a turd because their poop is all yellow and green and looks like rabbit turds drenched in toxic waste. So after a week of having a child, you start looking forward to when they're potty trained - but by the time they're potty trained, there's ANOTHER newborn kid with the same turd sticking out of their navel, and the same amount of feces that makes you say "DAMN HONEY! What are you feeding this ####ing kid?" and she says "The same ####ing thing YOU are!" And you try not to fight because you know that everyone is just cranky because they haven't slept that much since this baby NEVER sleeps.
And what the hell is up with that? These kids have to eat EVERY 4 hours, night and day? Seriously? I never could figure that out. And when you try to get them on a normal schedule all they do is scream and fuss until you can't take it any more so you feed them just to shut them up! And what do they do? They puke all over you!
GROSS!
It's just non-stop puke. It's almost as bad as the poop! And then one day you wake up and realize that the defining substances of your LIFE for the past 5 years is vomit and poop! You almost can't remember what it was like NOT to smell vomit and poop because these little ####-machines are everywhere. The older are two fighting and screaming all the time, and the baby screaming for more crap-ore to process and the next thing you know they're all in school. These demon-spawn who you thought were going to have problems in school turn into perfect angels when they leave the confines of your door-step. WTF? Why can't they act like that at HOME? But they keep bringing home these goddam fund-raiser things, and they want money for all these events! Don't I pay taxes for this ####? Seriously - and how much paper can the school send home with these kids every day? The irony is how much propaganda the school crams into the kids heads about "saving the planet" and "being environmentally conscious", and yet they must go through a rain-forest every damn week judging by the amount of paper they send home every day. And then your oldest is a heart-beat away from his teen years, but he's already got that surley sarcastic attitude and everything is a damn battle... No matter what! Even if you tell him to do something he WANTS to do, there's an argument involved, and you're looking back to that day in the hospital where they put that little striped hat on his head and as they handed him over, they told you to keep his hands covered up because he can't control them and he may accidentally scratch his own face off, and you're thinking... "if I had known then what I know now..."
Anyway babies are fragile, sure - but hospitals are safe.
I am pretty sure that's why you get them as infants when they are cute..so you have something to cling too when comtemplating teenacide.
